3,2,1………………..Happy blah blah

Ok so sue me I know I said last week that that would be my last Blog for the year, but I am sitting here and thinking “it’s the last day of the year” so let’s do the last Blog of the year. Normally by today many people are coming up with new year’s resolutions, the normal are “Go n Diet, stop drinking, stop smoking, get a new job, getting fit, stop spending money etc etc” …………………….I don’t do resolutions as I never usually keep them. So for 2014 I will set myself some challenges and see how many of them I attain. One of them will be to build a better career.     

Many people said they had a kak 2013, mine wasn’t too bad to be honest and I have been keeping a list of Lekker things that happened or that I did in 2013 so here they are “in no particular order”  
·         Went to UK With Tania and Gabby
·         Drove a Ferrari F430 at Siverston
·         Drove  Austin martin vantage v8 at Silverston
·         50 lap indoor go cart race
·         Turned 50
·         Bought a Harley (second hand one, but still a Harley)
·         First big  OHS CMB253 audit where I did some one on one work
·         went to Richards bay for the first time (twice)
·         Became an uncle for 6th time to Lexi
·         Became a great uncle for 1st time to Rachel
·         Passed my auditors exam with a distinction
·         Watched Blitzbokke beat All blacks at PE stadium in front of local All Black supporters
·         Watched all except 1 Super 15 games played in PE
·      Saw history being made by watching Kings become the first rookie side in super 15 to win their first ever Super 15 game
·         Survived the 10 days of Nelson Mandela on radio, TV etc etc
·         Rode 5000 kms on a Harley
·         Managed a whole year of gym
·         Been on an oil rig (albeit while it’s in a harbour)
·         Read some good books ( well they were to me )
·         Survived the Apocalypse that Mayans predicted for 31 Dec 2012
·         Have family from UK come and spend Xmas and new year’s with us

So all in all a pretty good year I think. The pool pump has just given up the ghost, so puts a bit of a dampener on the year, but like I said lets focus on the good stuff.

All that’s left for me to do is to wish you all a Happy New Year, In 2014 may you have Love to share, Health to spare and friends who care.

Ciao for the last time this year


Steps to take in case of a fire………..

“Frikken large ones” would be my answer, but at Nkandla it would be pick up a bucket and “fillit” up from the pool and “frow” it on the fire. Of all the excuses that Publics work Minister Thulas Nxesi  gave at a press briefing yesterday (19/12/2013) as to the  208 million rand upgrades to JZ’s Nkandla homestead this would be my favourite, although having to build an expensive path because of high heels comes a close second (Didn’t know that JZ was a cross dresser, but  as they say in the classics you learn something new every day) As I have said of the 10 explanations given my favourite is the reason they put in a swimming pool is that due to the positioning of Nkandla and the fact that no fire station is situated  within a reasonable distance from Nkandla.

1)    National police commissioner Riah Phiyega explained that those who grew up in rural areas knew that “there are no fire extinguishers or fire brigades”.
She said the “best we know is to take a bucket, dip it in water and throw it on the fire”.
General Vijay Ramlakan, the retired surgeon-general who represented the defence force, confirmed that there was “what is referred to in the media” as a swimming pool, but that the department of defence’s original request had been “translated by public works engineers into what is there”.

For the other 9 “if you have 1 brain cell” reasons go to http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/Politics/High-heels-and-9-other-explanations-for-Nkandla-upgrades-20131219. And believe me there are some doozies.
They did not mention why a multi-million R gym had been built as part of the security upgrades (that by the way did not cost the tax payer anything, so that begs the question who paid for it ?) my answer to the press and the thousands upon thousands of pissed off South African Tax payers would be the following.

“Due to the fact that many people call our President a fat cat we thought that we should let him gym to get rid of that perception, however it will also mean that if the chicken coop, new kraal, air-conditioning, swimming pool or new paving does not keep the tsoties away or fires from bennnning the house, then he will be fit enough to be able to run away, as long as he is not wearing high heels, or run to the pool with a bucket and put out the fire”……………..
I know many are going to be upset with me, but I am just so happy that they have eventually buried Nelson Mandela……………..it was seriously getting to much with the outside world basically not existing from the day after he died.………… then of course are all those expats that basically left SA due to the fact that the ANC with Nelson Mandela as its leader came into power and decided to pack their bags ……………Now all of a sudden he is their saint and thousands have his face as their FB or BBM etc picture. Don’t get me wrong he did some great things but we also need to remember about the many thousands of other ordinary South Africans (Black and white) who have died at the hands of animals who know that if they do get caught the chances of a hefty sentence are minimum and if they do go to jail the chances of escaping or pretending to be ill and getting early parole are good .   

 One also has to laugh at the many African politicians who harped on about Madiba’s legacy of forgiveness, humanity, compassion, humility etc etc but they themselves are don’t live up to those same standards or ideals.

So here is a question for you……………….. “Has convenience made things inconvenient”? Let’s look at that statement for a moment and dwell upon it while I go make myself a cup of coffee (Ok open a Millers).
Not too long ago I decided that I needed a McDonalds real bad (I know, I must have been really hungry) so popped into the nearest one, there was a lengthy queue at the drive thru so I decided to go inside order and eat which I did. As we know the service at McDonalds is not the fastest, in fact they manage to put a whole new meaning into “fast food” even so I must have been about 10 – 12 minutes and when I walked  out cars that had been in the back of the queue had not yet reached the window to receive their orders. Now I may be wrong (and I often R) but I thought the whole point of the drive thru was to provide quick takeaway food for those in a hurry?

I think that in this day and age we have become so attached to the idea of convenience that we will put up with inconvenience to achieve it. We seem to be surrounded with items that do things for us, automatic dog and cat food dispensers, electric juicers, tin openers, fridges that automatically make ice cubes, electric windows and my favourite  disposable toothbrushes  that have the toothpaste already squeezed on it………………I mean how lazy is that ?

Automatic gates and garage doors are my favourite, it’s amazing how many people have them and they don’t work properly or decide not to work at all. It all seems great as you swing into the drive or drive towards the garage and as you press the button of the remote control it either opens and closes as it’s supposed to or the gate half opens and you press the button a few more times and the gate goes back to the start and then gets stuck halfway which means that you need to get out of the car and hand crank the gate open, which usually entails you having to crawl on all fours.

 With automatic Car doors they will open as expected or slow down just a little which will mean that you will take the bottom panel off the door. They can also have a mind of their own and will only decide to close if there is a chance that it can crush the gardener or one of the kids bikes.  You then get up on a chair and try to repair the motor with either a screwdriver a hammer or in my case both.  You then call in the garage door or gate motor repairman  who takes his holidays in the Bahamas, so while we buy gadgets to make our lives more convenient what they n fact do is add expense and complications to our lives. Is it a coincidence that the first syllable of convenience is Con ??.................I think not. 

Seems that Steef “I have a million kids” Hofmeyer and Jooooolius “I wish I had a million brain cells” Malema were both arrested for speeding but Malema got pissed off because he was given a bigger bail amount. Malema was released on R5 000 bail after being arrested doing 215 in a 12o zone while Hofmeyer was released on R500 bail for doing 175 in a 120 zone. “Keep the assholes in jail for all I care”……………seems that with death of Paul Walker they are looking for new talent for the movie Franchise , Steve and Jooolias may just fit the bill………..they may however need to change the  title  as the poster says to  “The Fat and The Furious”.    

Was at a local Musica store on Friday (yep Xmas shopping) and imagine my surprise when I see that Vinyl is making a comeback. The ACDC albums of which I have the originals are going for R269 each. 

Expecting family from the UK to arrive today, Nicole, Doug, Amber and newest addition Lexi have been visiting Doug’s dad and brother who still live in SA and they will then spend time with us and Nicoles dad and brother and his family here in PE. So the house is going to be busy for a while, especially Xmas day when we will have 15 adults’ kids and a baby running around for Xmas day Lunch. So let’s hope that the weather is good. I know that Tania can’t wait to see her sister and hold her Niece Lexi for the first time………………..”yeah ok I am also looking forward to meeting my Niece
for the first time as well”

Today is the last day of the first test against India and SA need 261 runs with 6 wickets in hand, let’s hope that we can do it , but chasing a world record last innings score of 458 to win. Morne Steyn was all full of himself prior to start of the test as to how the Indian batting line up was suspect and that the SA bowlers would rip into them, well let’s hope those words don’t come back and bite him on the ass…………….Kallis was given out LBW and he def had an inside edge, let’s hope that it’s not an expensive mistake from the umpires.

Well this will probably be the last post for this year, I have been on and off this year regards posts, to be honest for a while have not really felt like writing, but have also have been busy with other things as well. Let’s see what next year brings.

Do yourself a favour sit down and list all the great things that you did or happened to you in 2013. I did and had a pretty good year. We tend to remember the kak (shit to non-South African readers) that happens and not the good. I will tell you mine in the first Blog of 2014. 

So all that is left to say is Merry Christmas (yep I say Christmas, not Festive season or HAPPY HOLIDAYS like my politically don’t want to piss off the minorities friends tend to say ) to you and your loved ones and I wish you all a 2014 that is everything you hope for.



Permission to have Penis Pierced !

Now I don’t know about you but when I was a kid at school I went on a number of School outings, I remember being taken to a farm for the day, the beach, in standard 5 we went to Johannesburg and toured the gold mines and then in the evening watched a movie, in high school we went on sports tours as well as numerous day trips. I remember each time my parents had to sign permission and in most cases pay for me to attend the days outing, sports tour or event that had planned by the school.

So I wonder how its possible that a teacher in Gauteng was able to take pupils to have their John Thomas's pierced, “yep can you believe it” ?……………..I am speechless to be honest and it takes a lot to make that happen. The teacher in the meantime (after the story broke/ did a dick become infected, did one of the kids show their parents or were they caught going through a metal detector at the airport on their school tour of the hot spots in Thailand ?), has apologized and said that he is no Sexual deviant. (looks a tad dodgy to me)

The teacher said that his actions could not be undone but rumours of sexual misconduct were unfair, apparently pupils that he teaches saw his penis ring in the change rooms after a swimming practice (changing with the pupils after swimming………mmmmmm a tad dodgy I don’t ever remember changing with any of my teachers) and they asked him about it…………….Perhaps it was like a show and tell ? “So sir what is that shiny thing on the end of your penis” Oh that Brian is a penis ring. makes me look rugged, interesting and windswept and make’s the wife have multiple orgasms and is a real conservation piece at  church fees, parties, weddings and family gatherings ................"Wow we should all get one sir will you take us , Please sir Please”

In the interest of education and expanding their young minds he told them to do some research and after they had done so perhaps they wrote a small report  that they presented to the class. According to the teacher they then asked him to take them for a piercing………………... Not their parents, their teacher (how fkd up is that ?)…………this is also a problem for me, how could he agree to take them if he was  not sure that the parents agreed (or can kids now just do what they want now?) apparently none of the pupils of parents have complained (perhaps its because they haven’t done a penis piercing inspection lately) it was the schools governing body who decided to dismiss him and this is because a few months before he had taken a another student to get a tattoo, hopefully not on his penis.

I have a question that maybe you are also thinking, how did the governing body know he had taken the kids to have penis rings but their parents did not, or perhaps they did and just don’t give a fuck? Either way this teacher is a serious fuckktard and an embarrassment to his profession. .  

I don’t know what is happening to our schools but its seriously fucked up at the moment, students are beating other students, students are killing each other teachers are beating pupils, pupils are sexually molesting teachers or beating them up and this is in the last couple of weeks………… So who is to blame?? Well society in general has become just so messed up and kids today don’t have the love and discipline that we may have had as kids, the government wants us to not discipline kids there is clearly no discipline at schools and how can people just watch other people getting beaten and stabbed etc, is that the type of individual we are turning our children into ? Cell phones are also “in my mind” contributing to violence as people now want to “act” for the camera. Cell phones should be banned from schools. 

I have  a  friend who’s 18 year old daughter is suing her for maintenance, apparently there is a law that when a kid turns 18 and they either cant or are to fking lazy to find a job they can sue the parent/s for money……………Nice one. So now she is 18 just finishing matric and wants her mom to pay her R2000 a month a ell as her cell phone and medical aid contributions so its about R2500 a month, she I claiming R300 a month for cigarettes as well as money for cat food……her mom has no intentions of paying.  

"SA crime at lowest in 15 years" - report. Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa says an international monitor has found that crime in South Africa is at its lowest level in 15 years. "Who is he trying to kid? its not that crime has decreased its probably because people have got so gatvol of police ineptitude or the fact that criminals IF they get caught get a slap on the wrist and get to go and do it all over again,  that they just don’t report crime anymore", the fact that the latest police commissioner is under investigation may also just have the general public wondering why bother.

Next couple of weeks will be in East London , I was there last week and had a student by the name Picnic “no lies”, great young man, just got to love Africa. The week before I rode back from El in the rain and I was soaked and by time I got back, the forecast was for 80% chance of heavy rain this Friday again, so I got dressed up for monsoon season and guess what………………No Rain, have to love it when the weather man fks it up.

We had our client function on Friday night and the Theme was “let the good times roll”. It was held at a local Guest house near the beachfront, think it’s called Ahoy boutique hotel and as the name suggests it has “wait for it” a Nautical theme. “I know surprising hey”.  I was the MC and dressed up like an over the top Blinged out whale (badly dressed, rich punter).

Unfortunately on the way to the venue, we came across an accident, looks like the guy riding the bike grabbed a handful of front brake and with the water on the road from the rain it slipped from under him and he hit the back of the Audi at speed………..never nice to see a bike in an accident

Yesterday was clean the pool, mow the lawn, watch a couple of movies, have the flu so was not that “lus” to do much, I have not been to gym all week so hopefully next week I feel better and go to the gym near to Carl. Have to say I was a little confused yesterday because a) there was no rugger on to watch and b) there was no wind, no rain, blue skies and it was sunny…………….why am I confused ? well it’s weekend, last month or so every weekend has had really kak weather.  

Next week sees the Boks play Wales in the first of their 3 games on their Northern tour. Yesterday the Poms beat Australia 20/13 and the Pommie press are going on about what a great team the Poms are and how they should be seen as contenders for the 2015 World cup that will be held on the island. Fisrt of all Australia are playing really kak at the moment and the Poms will have to improve by leaps and bounds to beat the All blacks or the Bokke.

Have a great week


why we must vote.

Please read this semi-humorous letter from Trevor Mallach, a Shoprite Group executive (Vote right!)
Hello fellow citizens
If like me, you don't have a passport from another country and you quite like living in South Africa, now is quite an important time for you

Instead of using clich├ęs like "the future is in your hands...." or "make your mark, let your voice be heard!" and other ineffective drivel, I am going to just draw your attention to the following:
Bob Mugabe had to amend the constitution of Zimbabwe to allow him to remain in power as president, long after he had reached his intellectual sell-by-date. (Before this, as in all "democracies", there was a limit to the number of terms which a president could serve). Having changed it once, he did it again. Then he was on a roll. The rest of the story we all know very well. With hindsight, we can see that had he been prevented from taking the first step, the whole sub-Saharan part of Africa would have been spared quite a lot of bother.

When Hitler took over Germany he systematically turned it into a fascist police-state, where no-one (no, not even German citizens) had any freedom. He did this by passing one piece of legislature after another. Slowly he started to ban things (like women shaving their legs and underarms). Next he formed a special police force which was under his personal control (the infamous Gestapo) to enforce these new laws. Then he banned some more things, like jokes, clever books and talking about him behind his back. By the time he had mobilized his army, and banned being Jewish or trying to stop him from invading your country it was TOO LATE! He had gained too much momentum.

"How did Hitler and Bob manage this?" you may ask. I'll tell you how: Baby steps.

Each time they changed something, they convinced all the stupid people that it was for the greater good. Clever people, who could tell that it wasn't, thought to themselves "Surely they won't get away with this" over tea and rusks, but did nothing. By the time someone decided to stand up and make a scene, his house had been burned down and his head was firmly wedged between an S.S. boot and the pavement outside.

Now, I'm sure we all agree that one "Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma" possesses neither the intellect, balls or charisma to start a world war. However, he has somehow managed to wangle his way into a position where he can very well take the first baby step towards making a complete pig's ear of our country. Old-school racist whites are always on about our country going to the dogs and ending up like Zimbabwe…... Of course they did this because they were narrow-minded and ignorant, not because they were keeping a keen eye on actual political developments. Our downfall will not be racism as everyone predicted in 1994, it will be corrupt politicians driven by greed and a hunger for power. And people drinking tea saying "surely they won't get away with that?".

Now JZ's trial has been scheduled for August (which is AFTER the election). After winning the election, the ANC plans on amending the constitution to prohibit the acting president from being prosecuted in a court of law. Just like with Bob Mugabe, the most fundamental law of the country will now be changed to suit the whims of a criminal with no brain. (Never mind the fact that this would actually mean that he could literally commit murder and get away with it until he steps down as president). Our constitution is literally the anchor which stops our country from drifting down river and over the edge of a waterfall. It leaves ultimate power in the hands of the courts and judges and prevents government from raising itself above the law. To allow anyone to mess with it is equivalent to committing a slow national suicide.

The ANC no doubt thinks they will again get the two thirds majority they need to tinker with the constitution in the April election. I beg to differ.
I hope and believe that, unlike the sheep of the past in Germany and Zimbabwe , the average person who receives this mail has actually had enough of all these shenanigans and would like to see the appearance of justice, logic and efficiency in government. Unfortunately, we are in the minority. However, to prevent things from getting worse really fast, all we have to do (for now) is: ............................. VOTE !!!!!!!! .And then, when the election comes, vote for anyone except the ANC. You can vote for Vernon Koekemoer or Skippy Peanut Butter for all I care, just as long as no one gets a two-thirds majority!

I swear on my grandma's grave... if I hear someone (who didn't vote or couldn't vote because they were too lazy or hungover to register) complaining at a braai about the government I will come in from the side with a flying head-butt which will leave you so brain-damaged you'll join the ANC youth league and vote for Julius Malema in 2013.

This country is genuinely amazing, lets not let a small handful of people use it as their personal monopoly set and turn it into another post-Colonial African 3rd World sad story.

Vote, dammit! People are willing to die fighting for the right to vote. If you don't, and you end up watching as the country slowly slides into an abyss it will be "on you". ............ Ok, enough.

000000000000000000000000000h the cat sat on the computer again

Been AWOL for a while, it’s been a combination of being busy, trying to study (yeah good one) and generally being lazy.  But I have to say  “Where has the year gone” ? Shits almost November an when we rub our eyes it will be  the season “to spend money” as  the Xmas season will be upon us, with local retailers already putting up the decoration, trees and advertising mince pies and the like. Xmas just seems to be getting longer and longer every year.

As you may or may not know we have a new member of the family, other than my two new Nieces Lexi and Rachel. Her name is Katy and she is a ginger kitten, that has to be one of the cutest intelligent kittens we have had the pleasure to own and we have had some great cats. Her mission at the moment is to sleep, eat, go totally berserk, eat, sleep……………… “you get the picture”  Katy loves the computer and regularly walks across or sits on the keyboard changing settings or writing her own words, hence the name of this
BLOG story because as I was starting I stood up to get something and she pressed the o button a number of times.  
Took the Harley on its first long ride this week (660kms), as I had training to do in East London. Usually I have done that trip with the Triumph, but due to the fact that it’s not running “again” I used the ‘Hog” I have to be honest, much prefer the long distance riding on the Triumph as it can take luggage in the luggage panniers and it’s a lot smoother.  The ride there was not too bad, other than being a little cold and sore when I got to EL (I have not done a long distance ride in quite a while). The ride back however has to be near to, if not the worst ride I have ever had, with the last 150kms being ridden in monsoon type rain that had me curse the fact that I love bikes and riding. While passing fast moving trucks with little or no visibility can be terrifying being hit with a wall of water from a puddle that a vehicle in front of you or passing you hits its believe it or not is worse and probably the reason my Flatberry had to be immersed in a large bowl of rice when I got home so as to absorb the moisture………………seemed to work as it did in fact start up again………………….I downgraded to a Flatberry by the way, it’s like a Blackberry but just thinner, to be honest I am surprised that it still works after being driven over by a car (fell out of my pocket while riding the scooter back from work). It still works and that’s what matters to me, I am not a techno junkie like a number of my family who just love to have the newest up to date technology when it comes to phones and computers………………………………………. My wife Tania included in that

Well that’s it for this Blog, not really Lus (motivated) to write anymore, gonna chill out and read some more of the book I am consuming at the moment, it’s called “No Angel” and it’s about an undercover ATF agent in the states that joined the Hells Angels and starts to get too involved with them………….. , can’t put it down.

Again if you have not registered to Vote for next year’s election in SA then do so, while you think voting cannot change anything, it can. Indifference towards voting in my mind is a form of cowardice, because you’re saying “I take no responsibility for what happens in my country” so if you’re not registered or know of others that are not get them to do so and then go make your mark………….Time to tell the ANC that we are not taking any more of their shit.

Have a great week



Nothing like sitting the side of the road, to see how quickly you can get bored and in my case it’s rather a fast process. In fact I have started this week’s blog from the side of the road about 80kms from East London. The reason is that the car I was travelling in on the way to an audit broke down, waited over 3 hours for colleague to bring a clamp (it was R3.50 clamp that popped off the air intake pipe into the turbo) and it put out so much air that cable ties, elastic bands and even part of farmers barbed wire fences could not assist………………….Hence the wait. Out of the hundreds of cars and trucks that passed us, only 2 persons stopped to see if they could assist not even the cops or traffic police stopped. So it’s nice to see that those two institutions believe in the “serve and protect ethos”………………….”Yeah right”.

Talking about Traffic cops I think I may have mentioned in last week’s Blog or the one before that it seems at they are becoming more visible. Well its definitely the case, because after the FIFA World Cup of 2010 all semblance of control on the roads seemed to have vanished faster than Seth Blatter chasing the next World Cup “pay day”.

Road blocks, speed traps,  patrolling of highways as well as weighing of trucks at weigh bridges seem to be the order of the day………….Some say it’s because they have been given guns, some that it’s because they have received a huge increase while others believe they have been imported from another galaxy, I for one have mixed feelings about this new development cause while I want order on the roads and vehicles that actually have brakes and steering wheels using the highways and byways , like most South Africans (and I tell students this in my safety lectures) we also like to be able to wind that bike or car up to over the 120 km per hour speed limit and overtake on the double white line “uphill on a blind rise”   after all that the South African way……………..we love laws and rules but hate to follow them.

I even saw a white traffic cop in Queenstown (which is a spot the white man and win a prize town in the first place) you can equate this  to seeing the Loch ness monster, Big Foot, an honest politician, Leprechaun or a Unicorn, it’s a rare rare sighting indeed.

I mentioned earlier that I was on the way to an audit when the car I was travelling in broke down, I forgot to mention it was my bosses car and the audit was for Transnet, seeing that we stared a day late I had to go on Wednesday “ all on my lonesome” to audit the Depot and yard that side and traveled up with Oom Danie and Lebu, two different sides of the coin one could not hope to meet. Both great guys, Oom Danie hanging on for 2 years to retire and Lebu and ex train driver who has been promoted to a Safety manager (even after he has managed to kill 8 people while driving trains) in his defence after listening to his stories none of them where actually his fault, it’s not like he drove off the tracks and rode the people down in a mielie field. Not many people realize that it can take a fully laden train between 1 and 1.5 kilometers to stop so if someone is lying on a track and you apply the brakes as you see them there is not much you can do to prevent from slicing that person in 2.

It’s sad however to see a once proud transport system into what is basically a delivery system for large corporation and have allowed the infrastructure to deteriorate so much that we now have to spend Billions of R to fix………”So let’s fuck it up, see that we actually need a rail transport system to get the trucks off the road and then use money we don’t have to fix it again”      
So what else has my awesome government been up to this week? Well here is my gem for the week, read this first and then I will comment.

Northern Cape premier Sylvia Lucas used her official credit card to spend R53 159 on fast food during her first 10 weeks in office, the Sunday Times reported. Lucas spent R26 565 on food in one month, according to the report. She was inaugurated as premier on 30 May. According to the Sunday Times, she spent R11 956 on food in Kimberley, where she lives in the official premier's residence, in August. Treasury guidelines stipulated that official credit cards were for "when the executive authorities are away on official duties outside the province". Between 16 July and 2 August, Lucas spent more than R2 000 at her local Super Spar, the Sunday Times reported. Lucas reportedly told the newspaper the shop was conveniently "close to her home".

"When we go out of Kimberley, we go to the Super Spar and we buy water and Powerade and cool drinks. We need Powerade for the energy, you know," she was quoted as saying.      "How would we have eaten if we didn't use taxpayers' money?"
WTF...........................she needs the energy so she can steal our money and make a mockery out of the accountability process…………..”Bitch”  
To make my blood boil even more, the ANC, the people who keep telling us that they are serious about crime and corruption and that they will not tolerate member who use taxpayers money, have come out in support of the Kentucky Fried chicken, finger licking thief by saying “she is only human” again my response is WTF, I don’t know about any other South African but I am just sooooooo sick of this shit, it’s time to vote these bastards out. 

So Romaine Poite  “can stick this in your baguette and smoke it”…… Cape Town - SANZAR judicial officer Terry Willis from Australia has removed a red card from the disciplinary record of Springbok hooker Bismarck du Plessis. Du Plessis was issued with a red card after receiving two yellow cards during the Boks' Rugby Championship clash with the All Blacks in Auckland on Saturday.

The yellow cards were issued in the 17th and 42nd minutes of the match at Eden Park, which New Zealand won 29-15. The judicial hearing was held via teleconference on Monday. Willis granted an application made by Gerrie Swart who appeared on behalf of Du Plessis, for an expedited hearing. The hearing was originally fixed for the Tuesday. At the hearing, Willis was assisted by former professional player David Croft from Australia. Submissions were made on behalf of the player and the video footage was reviewed. Willis found that the decision made by referee Romain Poite to issue a yellow card as a result of the tackle by Du Plessis on Dan Carter was wrong, as it was within the laws of the game.

Carter to his credit said he had no problems with the tackle. No further sanction was imposed on Du Plessis, however the second yellow card remains on his record for the remainder of the Rugby Championship. But I have just heard that the ref who will be in charge of the Bokke vs Australia game at Newlands next Saturday will be non other than, yes another fking Frenchman, he was a touch judge in the All black game, “did anyone say “dejavu”

News just in, the French army base  that is 5 kms from Paris Disney has had to be moved, it seems that every night after the fireworks display, the management had accept the surrender of the commander and his men.

Blog is a little late due to the fact that we spent the weekend at a place called Cannon Rocks about 135 kms from PE, nice place right near the beach which we took one windswept walk one before being sandblasted back to the flat. The weather wasn’t exactly conducive to the beach and bringing swimming trunks as well as snorkeling equipment was perhaps being a tad enthusiastic. Especially after the Cape had been hit with a cold front that brought snow and -3 temperatures. Saturday we took a drive to Port Alfred and Kenton on sea and had a squiz around. I can happily tell u that I am however the pool as well as table tennis champ in the family. But Steve (Gabby’s boyfriend, gave me a good run for my money). Sunday the weather was good and we had a lekker walk on the beach, it was a nice getaway. Thanks Tania xx

I see the Muslims (or perhaps I need to be politically correct and say “possible non-Christians”) have been at it again with “non- Muslims” being targeted at a local shopping centre in Kenya and over 30 being shot………………..”yes a peaceful religion indeed”.
So I told you last week that we had a new kitten but that we hadn't thought of a name for her yet. Well she is called Katy. She is as cut as a button and in less than a week she has stolen our hearts. The other 2 cats are not so enamored with her, but Mischief seems to be the one that
wants to get to know her more than Black cat does.    

Ok well that’s about it for the week. Tuesday is a public holiday here in SA , its Heritage day, better known as Braai day, so I am sure many a fire will be lit and a beer or two will be consumed.



Stand up and be counted.

The fact that the Corrupt, inefficient  and fucked up ANC government have told the Public protector Thuli Madonsela to drop her investigation of President JZ’s R208 Million rand upgrade of his “PRIVATE” Nkandla estate has put me over the edge as to my feelings for the present South African government.

I am sick of listening to people complain (myself included) about how kak the government is, how the local municipalities waste our rates and taxes, how the country is going to the dogs and then don’t do anything about it. So I have decided that I am going to actively get involved in trying to get this country back on the right track.

I don’t care what colour you are whether your Jewish, Muslim (non- suicide bomber types), Christian , a scientologist or even an atheist, I don’t give a shit if your rich or poor, university educated or only have a Standard 8 (sorry grade 10) I don’t give a shit are if you fought for or against the old SA government or if your conservative or liberal in outlook……………….All I care about is that we start to stand together and make the ANC and the local  corrupt, inept and fucked up municipalities to understand that the “free ride” on my as well as other selected taxpayers money is over and we “Demand” ( a word ANC supporters love to bandy about) accountability and good governance.

With that said I am going to start getting involved with local politics, if I want change then I am going to have to get off my ass and do something about it, I urge all that are complaining about the present state of affairs to do the same, we cannot just sit idly by and allow the country we love to slide into the pit of mediocrity.

Talking about accountability and good governance it would seem that the SABC (local TV broadcaster) has managed to “spend” 1 .5 Billion rand and not have any account as to what they spent on it “I smell a rat”

And as if the country’s farmers don’t have it hard enough here is another “Brilliant” proposal to really make farmers want to carry on producing food for the country, “seriously where do these cretins come from who even contemplate proposals of this nature? (Probably some asshole, who has never built up anything from scratch in his/her life and has a sense of entitlement because of the colour of their skin).

This from the Beeld newspaper: The possibility that farmers would be "encouraged" by the state to apportion shares in their farms to farm workers was worrying commercial farmers. The share option was contained in a proposed policy document of the department of rural development and land reform. It was suggested that a farm-worker with 10 years of "disciplined service" on a commercial farm would be entitled to a 10% share in the ownership of the land.
After 25 years of service, a worker would be entitled to 25%, and 50% after 50 years. No mention was made of what would happen when a number of labourers worked on the same farm for more than 10 years. The system would not be "enforceable" and farmers would be encouraged to "voluntarily" participate. An incentive programme would encourage farm owners to participate.
Annelize Crosby, legal and policy adviser for Agri SA, said on Wednesday that the policy did not make any sense at all. "If there is any remote possibility of forced compliance to this idea, it will lead to disinvestment and a sharp decline in agricultural production."………………..”Annelize, they don’t give a shit about decline in agricultural production they just want to fuck up what is there and have thousands of black farm workers owning 10% of nothing”, also they get paid Huge salaries for doing absolutely nothing, so they don’t care what the price of food is or petrol because they will just vote themselves a salary increase and our taxes will go up…………….”Time for change”
I have heard and read some weird stories before, but this one takes the cake. It seems another South African overseas has run foul “, or should I say fowl of the law” a certain Steven Cohen was arrested in Paris a few days ago and charged with Sexual exhibitionism. 

this is Mr Cohen, sand rooster attached to his penis.
This idiot or some call “eccentric artist” paraded around Trocadero Square facing the Eiffel Tower at 9.30am was clad in a bird costume, high heels and a live rooster tied to his penis. He decided to parade in front of a group of tourists while mimicking the movements of a chicken. Apart from the chicken costume he also wore feathers on his hands and head, high-heel shoes, hot pants and long, red gloves, Why did he do it ?? Well according to his lawyer he wanted to evocate (means to thank, yeah i had to look it up as well) his situation, shared between two countries, South Africa, his native country and France, where he currently lives." So now when someone asks you why did the Chicken cross the road? The answer will be “to get away from Steve Cohens penis”

Thursday afternoon drove to El and on Friday morning at sparrows I had to drive 211 kms to a place called Ncgobo and present SHE Reps for 16 students. Well what can I say about Ncgobo other than it may have been cute once, and that was a long long time ago. If the town was kak then the hospital was an eye opener and I know why there are action groups wanting the MEC for Health to get his ass kicked and why for once I agree with the Unions when they say that they want to force all ministers, Councillors etc use state hospitals to see how bad they have become “no more private hospitals for clinics for the elite”.  Must say its the first time that i have seen dogs running in hospital hallways or goat shit and urine in the halls as well,   

Drivers in that part of the world come in 2 modes “Kamikaze and Miss daisy”, you can usually tell who the Kamikaze drivers are because they sport either personal or government number plates. The Miss Daisy drivers have discovered that they can save money on petrol by driving really really really slow, I am talking about 40kms an hour in a 100 or 120 km zone and as you can imagine it becomes very frustrating and irritating for a “patient” person like me.

Having driven over a thousand kms the last couple of days I have seen a couple of real idiots (myself included) that have taken unnecessary chances in the traffic,  2 of the idiots where  young ladies who were in serious hurries to get to wherever and then there was this Fktard who I hope one day gets his ass kicked by some steroid enhanced, pissed off bodybuilder. I hope that Jesus love him because f he continues to drive like a twat then he is going to meet him real soon………………problem is he will probably take other innocent people with him.

I wanted to use the Triumph to get to the work but it won’t Frikken start, even bought a new battery (waste of money), tried yesterday to see what the problem is and took some of the bike apart to see if it was getting fuel (it seems to be) or if there is a spark, it did start when Steve and I pushed it but /cut out and after that when you try to start it (even jump start from the car) it just turns over and nothing………………”.wondering if I should rather just sell it”.

We have a new member of the family, a new kitten called ? (Haven’t named her yet) She is really cute and full of energy and has put the other two cats noses out of joint, especially Mischief who by the look on his face can’t quite believe that we would dare bring another cat into the house.   

So last week we beat the Aussies, but this week we lost 29/15 against the All Blacks. The Eden park venue has not seen the All Blacks lose their since 2004 and we have not won there in 92 years……………I did not see the game but it would seem that it was controversial with the sending off of by some French Ref of Bismark Du Plessis who received a second yellow card for tackling the kak out of Dan Carter. Seems that the northern refs feel that tackling hard is no longer allowed in the game of rugby. Or perhaps Bismark had not read the little known IRB law 625 bc iii that states “No player is allowed to tackle an All Black player cleanly and real hard in front of a partisan New Zealand crowd – violation of this law is a Yellow card from an incompetent French Referee”

Tomorrow I am away for a week with my Boss to go and do an audits. Well that’s about it for today, have as great week




Bad ass Biker

One of my favourite series has to be SOA (Sons of Anarchy) – “why”? Well if I am honest, I suppose that like many others that ride motorbikes I would in fact like to be an outlaw biker or a 1%er as they are also known by normal society. While the series itself probably does “glorify” the outlaw biker lifestyle and crime, I enjoy the story-line as well as the bikes and yeah I suppose you do imagine yourself as a Jax Teller or one of the other “men of mayhem”.

I suppose that when we “don” the gear and start up the bike we enter another persona, one that says “I am the man, don’t fuck with me”.  The leather cut  may have  your club patch on the back as well as other patches that show the bike you ride, your view on the world as well as pins that show what rally’s you have been to or band that you listen to, hell some guys even wear patches that show their political persuasion. This together with the half gloves, helmet, a pair of cammo pants and attitude are meant to make you look mean and tough, the dentist, nursery school teacher and accountant become “outlaws” for a few hours . Does it work? Well let’s be honest on some it does, but the majority of weekend warriors are about as scary as if you where to put Barney in all those accouterments.

So what or who should I say, are outlaw bikers and why do they wear the 1%er patch and are they really as bad assed as we and law enforcement think and they are?  
Around 1905 the first motorcycle clubs in the States were formed and in 1924 the American Motorcycle association (AMA) came into being and they branded any non-affiliated clubs ‘outlaws”, now we have to remember these “outlaws” between the 1920’s and 1940’s were in fact harmless groups of young girls and boys who just enjoyed riding bikes and wanted to escape the monotony of riding alone. This they did by riding in groups and taking part in motorbike races. If the 1920’s saw the birth of the outlaw Biker it was not until after world war two that the outlaw biker came of age and this occurred in 1947 in a sleepy little Californian town called Hollister that was forever immortalized by the movie “The wild One’s” with Marlon Brando playing the lead role of Johnny . One of this movies and cinema’s famous line’s is “So what are you rebelling against Johnny”?................. To which Johnny replies “Whadyya got”   

The image of the modern “outlaw biker” was formed in Hollister when a few bikers behaved badly, that compared to today’s standards would be seen as tame.  It reads like a normal weekend rally, burnouts, drags in the street, too much drinking, half naked women and a few broken windows. This weekend of “mayhem” was taken up by Life magazine and blown out of all proportion. The AMA also wanted to distance themselves from what had happened at Hollister and in statement said “’Ninety nine percent of motorcyclist are law-abiding citizens and
the actions at Hollister are a result of outlaw motorcyclists and non-motorcyclists”  

Those bikers that saw themselves as the “outlaws” quickly called themselves the “1 percenters” and it was between the late 40’s and 1960 that the main one percenter clubs formed namely the Hells Angels, The Bandidos and the Pagans.  

The photograph and story on Page 31 of the July 21 edition of Life magazine had middle class America gasping in shock at the large drunk biker sitting on his Harley with a beer in hand and dozens of empties littered around his bike on the pavement. The photo just out of interest sake as “staged” with the dozens of empty bottles placed around the biker’s feet to maximize effect (this was confirmed by 83 year old Gus DeSerpa). That single black and white photograph published in what at the time was America’s most respected magazine probably altered the image of biking as well as the Harley Davidson motorbike forever. From that instant motorbikes and those that rode them were associated with chaos and evil. The truth is that a minor incident was sensationalized and while petty incidents did occur it was not the “barbarians at the gate” scenario as it was and has been made out to be.

While many who attended the weekend probably did have plans to raise a little hell, we have to understand what “raising hell” meant in the late 1940’s. To give you an idea as to how a “prospect” (new recruit who wanted to join a bike club and earn his colours) would be initiated, here are the cruel and harsh tests that prospects of the Boozefighters (seen as a hard-core biker and Outlaw club in 1947) had to endure

·         Get drunk at a race meet or cycle dance
·         Throw lemon pie in each other’s faces
·         Bring out a douche bag  where it would embarrass all the women (then drink wine from it)
·         Get down and lay on the dance floor
·         Wash your socks in a coffee urn
·         Eat live goldfish
·         When drunk have the president of the club shoot beer bottles off you’re had with a .22
Not exactly rape and pillage type of acts that one would expect from an “outlaw gang” or that one would envisage a dangerous biker club making their prospects endure or commit to become a “patched member”, hell and apart from the shooting of bottles from one’s head, I think the initiation into the local rugby club is probably harsher than that these days.   

There are numerous accounts of what happened that weekend at Hollister, and depending on who’s account you have read you will either be aghast at the carnage of the bikers or say to yourself “seriously” . Sourcing information on the incident from numerous sources here are some of the myths, facts of that weekend as well as the  incident/s that coined the phrase “1 percenters” .

All accounts that I have read at least agree one vital point and that is, the incident occurred on 3-6 July 1947, after that some of the “facts” become a little blurred, sensationalized or adapted so as to influence the people that would be reading that specific magazine article, police report or  which politician was looking for re-election.

Probably the first Myth that needs to be addressed is that the “riot” was the doing of the Hells Angels, this is not true as the Hells Angels were only founded in 1950 in a dusty town called Fontana in San Bernadino - California.  The truth is that it was a local bike group called the Booze fighters who instigated the trouble.  
There are two stories as to how the name Hells Angels was chosen, the first is that they named themselves after a B-17 squadron the 358th – of the 303 USAF bomber group that had been based in the UK during the Second World War or that they named themselves from the 1930’s Howard Hughes movie “The Hells Angels” either way the Hells Angels would establish themselves as the ultimate Motorcycle club.

One of the first questions that I asked myself was how did thousands of bikers end up in Hollister anyway a little town of 4500 people 420 kms from Los-Angeles in the first place ?

Through the 1930s, Hollister, California hosted an annual 4 July gypsy tour event. Gypsy tours were AMA authorized racing events that took place all over America and were considered to be the best place for motorcyclists to converge, the annual event consisted of motorcycle races, social activities, and lots of partying, as is the norm at most motorcycling gatherings today. In Hollister, the event itself as well as the motorcyclists were always welcomed, especially because Hollister was a very small town (Who’s main claim to fame was garlic) and the rally became a major event in its yearly life, much like Daytona Bike Week or Sturgis in the USA Today and as such became an important part of the town's economy. Due to World War II, the rally was cancelled, but re-organized for 1947.

So why did the 1947 racing events in Hollister become a problem? What was the catalyst that brought this little town to the world’s attention?  Well one of the reasons was that the numbers of people attending rose dramatically with estimate’s ranging from 3500 - 4800, again depending on who’s information you believe. I don’t believe it was the numbers that was the problem, it was the attitude of certain attendees, as well as the popularity that the motorcycle had gained between 1941 and 1947 . What some people forget is that after WW II as was the case in subsequent wars the USA was involved in, those veterans returning found it difficult to re adjust to civilian life that they found monotonous and yearned for adventure and an adrenaline rush, they found it in the motorcycle and the camaraderie of fellow enthusiasts which probably also reminded them of their days in the service.

Many American men who may not have been exposed to the motorcycle prior to the war learnt to ride them during the war and this saw the popularity of motorcycling and its danger/excitement growing dramatically, with thousands of new members joining bike groups or clubs after their return home. 

Those 2 factors saw a record attendance at the 1947 event with enthusiast coming from all over California as well as the USA. Motorcycle groups that attended also included newly formed groups, such as the “pissed off bastards of Bloomington”, the Market street Commando’s and the Galloping Goose motorcycle club.

Also we need to remember that about this time young men and women were beginning to not only doubt but also question their elders, as well as challenge their values, morals and any established institutions of authority. Young people were looking for a reason, any reason to rebel.
While motorcycling today has become more popular with women, many owning their own bikes, back in the 40’s there were numerous women only clubs with the biggest being the Motormaids. In fact the Motormaids have maintained an AMA club charter for more than 60 years and while certain Outlaw motorcycle clubs may lay claim to a slightly longer lineage, they have experienced at least 2 organizational identity permutations during their tenure. The Motormaids have maintained a singular identity as well as an overall governing structure since their inception and can lay claim to be the oldest established motorcycle club In the world. It was reported that at least 200 leather clad Motormaids rode into Hollister to watch the races and participate in planned events.   

Initially all were welcomed into the town and its bars and restaurants but there were just too many people for the infrastructure and those that could not get food or drinks started to look for other amusements and started to cause trouble. Drag races in the main street, throwing empty beer bottles out of windows, as well as fighting, both inside and outside the bars became the order of the day. Accommodation became a problem with bikers having to sleep on the sidewalks, on people lawns and in some cases farmer’s haystacks.

The number and the unfamiliar behavior of the attendees was just too much for the 7 man Hollister police force to handle and even threatening to use teargas and arresting as many drunken men that they could did not deter the men and women from enjoying themselves.

So how bad was it? Here are accounts the event seen through the eyes of a journalist, the local police a city Councillor as well as the local bike group, the “Boozefighters”.

Shortly after the weekend 2 stories were published in the San Francisco Chronicle with titles “Havoc in Hollister” and Hollisters bad time”. Both stories described the events to readers as “pandemonium and “terrorism” and while in general the articles did not actually lie about the events in Hollister the perception that they portrayed to readers was one of negativity towards motorcyclists. Here is an extract from one of those reports. “State highway patrolmen were called in to assist in imposing an informal martial law in downtown Hollister to curb the riotous behavior of an estimated 4000. Almost 60 persons were injured, three of them seriously. Several more arrests were made and a special night court session was convenes to punish those charged with reckless driving and drunkenness”. It was however the article published in life magazine (a major American publication) that brought the “riot” to the nation’s attention.  

A report from a city councilman to a newspaper reporter states the following…….. “Luckily, there appears to be no serious damage to the town. These trick riders did more harm to themselves. 3 motorcyclists had been seriously injured. One man suffered compound fractures of his right leg when struck by a cyclist swerving to avoid another rider spinning circles in the middle of the street. By early Sunday morning, the nearby hospital had treated 50 bikers for abrasions and broken bones”.

A police officer called the rally……….. “The worst 40 hours in Hollister history” and gave a brief version of events from the Police perspective. “Saturday afternoon it got a little out of hand and I remember some people tossing bottles onto the pavement, and riders spinning circles (today called donuts) in the street with their machines. The guys weren't vicious but they were drag racing up and down”.

After the last biker had left town and the dust had settled the city fathers of Hollister debated long and hard on whether they should ever allow another 3 day rally back into their community and if they did could they keep the rowdies under control. The tow chief of police resigned 48 hours after the weekend riot. The city fathers decided to reduce the event to one day, which effectively killed the event and after 1947, no hordes of bikers raced through Hollister or attended races at the local racetrack.

Did the Boozefighters, the local bike club established in 1946 and who are  generally acknowledged as being the people that instigated the “riot” realize that that they would rip an enormous hole into the social fabric of America? I don’t think that they did. I think that they just wanted to have some fun, ride their bikes fast, dance and drink. One of the members caused the most visible and memorable events of the Hollister weekend by riding his Indian bike into Johnny’s bar, the truth is that while Jim did in fact ride his bike into the bar and leaned it against the bar counter he did not crash it into the bar and when asked to move it away from the counter and put it against the wall he complied.

So while in the day they were regarded as outlaws and they liked to let off steam, partied heavy and occasionally got drunk, got jailed for speeding and had the occasional bar fight, none of the original members were ever put in jail for a serious crime like murder or drugs.  
So the Riot in Hollister as you can see, while for the time was a huge  problem to authorities and most Americans it was in fact nothing more than a glorified drunken binge that saw a few windows broken a few arrests made and a few injuries from riding bikes like hooligans, not bad if you think that thousand had descended on the town. It was thanks to the press that the events of that weekend was blown out of proportion and Hollister as well as the weekend’s events became part of biker folklore.

Stephen Dunkley
Port Elizabeth

·         Wikipedia
·         Mammoth book of bikers
·          Various articles from internet  

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...