The Life of Braai n

Always look on the bright side of life………… is how the song goes well a definite bright side of living in SA is National Heritage day that for many has become National Braai day and there can be no better public holiday as far as I am concerned.

Yesterday I was setting up a Braai album on Facebook and I was smiling at each photo I posted as each one had a special memory or evoked a song or a smell or a specific joke that had been told on that day. The Braai is a social occasion and basically all you need is a fire, a braai grid, a couple of rocks and some meat and you can have a braai anywhere anytime. When I lived in Clarens many a night you would get a call or you would call people up and the message was always the same…”We’ve decided to have a braai, so bring a dop and a tjop (sometimes a chair) and we will supply the hout and the sout” Viola an instant social gathering and usually a memory in the making.

This got me to thinking who can take credit for the Braai, which country can really stick up its hand and say the Braai is ours. Its probably safe to say that the cavemen where the first to actually throw a piece of Brontosaurus on the Braai. I mean at first they ate raw meat and then some clever caveman either “discovered” fire or a natural phenomenon such as a lightning strike hit a tree and the flames where kept alive. Now can you imagine the first “homus erectus” sitting there watching this hypnotic new discovery chewing on a Taro dactyl rib and deciding to throw one on the Barbie (yes he may have live near modern day Sydney). The Braai was born.

What happened next is open to debate but I believe that UG after finding out he could not actually stick in his hand into the flames to retrieve his ribs called over a few mates and showed them his new discovery. Over the years I am sure that the cooking of raw meat was refined and that a ritual was in place when a group of cavemen got together to have a BBQ (yes cavemen still live on the island). Picture the scene if you will. It’s a Saturday night its been a long hard week of trying not to be eaten by a T Rex and the Mammoth hunt was rather tiring having to chase it across Gondwanaland and finding out that due to the continents starting to separate a long swim was necessary to get back home to the cave.

Trog and his mates where chucking back a few Bud Lites (all the cavemen drank Bud lite, have you not seen the adverts??) and while the women where making a salad and basting the meat in a pond scum marinade the conversation could have gone something like this……………..Trog: so did you guys see the Lions take on the Cheetahs last week? UG: yes was rather brutal but I preferred watching the Pumas take on the Bulls at least we got some meat out of that. So how is married life Sid? SID: its great, my wife is a bit of a Sloth but she is really great where it counts…… Scrat: and where would that be SID: keeping me warm at night, she has got so much hair for the first week I thought she was either Portuguese or Polish but she actually is a Sloth.

UG: These T Rex T bones should be nice and the Primordial wombat wors is the bomb, we also have some vegetables and a nice Savannah Salad if you want. ……….etc etc .

So who do we have to thank for the Braai, well many countries do Braai, calling it by many names and for some it’s a “special” occasion. The Yanks tend to Braai hotdogs and hamburger patties, the Aussies like to “throw a shrimp on the Barbie” The Poms well who knows what they put on a BBQ, since the invasion of SA ex pats there is now wors and the likes that they can BBQ. In SA it seems that in the Krugersdorp area South Africans where Braaing as long as 1000 000 years ago (depending on which archaeologist you listen to) as they have found the bones of animals in a cave that had been burnt by a flame well over 500 degrees celcius, this indicated that the meat in fact had been roasted over a fire.

The word braaivleis (Afrikaans pronunciation: [ˈbrɑe.flæɪs], English: /ˈbraɪfleɪs/) is Afrikaans for "roasted meat."

A typical braai on a small braaier
The word braai (plural braaie) is Afrikaans for "barbecue" or "roast" and is a social custom in Botswana, South Africa, Namibia, Lesotho, Zimbabwe and Zambia. It originated with the Afrikaner people,[1] but has since been adopted by South Africans of many ethnic backgrounds. The word vleis is Afrikaans for "meat". The word has been adopted by English-speaking South Africans and can be regarded as another word for barbecue, in that it serves as a verb when describing how food is cooked and a noun when describing the cooking equipment, such as a grill. The traditions around a braai can be considerably different from a barbecue, however, even if the method of food preparation is very similar.

While wood formerly was the most widely-used braai fuel, in modern times the use of charcoal has increased due to its convenience, as with barbecues elsewhere in the world. There has however been a renewed interest in the use of wood after the South African government started with its invasive plant species removal program. An important distinction between a braai and a barbecue is that it is fairly uncommon for a braai to use gas rather than an open flame
So where is the furthest from SA you have had a Braai? (Germany 1990 – at a wine farm for re-unification) What’s the most interesting place you have had a Braai(Top of mount Horeb 22nd December 2009) and what do you like to braai (all meats are great, but the simple Wors roll of done properly has to be the best Braai food)

Here are a couple of songs, books or movies that have Braai (or should have had Braai ) in their titles.

1) To Braai another day
2) The Life of Braai n
3) The Braaing game
4) Braai the beloved country (great book)
5) Don’t Braai for me Argentina

Well apart from National braai day the weekend was not that exciting, I must say I was disappointed that no one in PE had arranged a braai day gathering lie Di Salt had done last year in Clarens (that was awesome), so perhaps I will do something for next year. We had Werner and Nadine come and stay with us on Saturday night, that was great, always nice to see people from Clarens, well those that you like that is. Weather has not been great, has been windy and a little chilly, in fact I think the weather was nicer in winter than it is now in what is supposed to be Spring.

Sports this weekend was varied, The Warriors won their semi-final and now are 1 game away from becoming the best club team in the world. The Sharks Lost to the Lions 22-20, Cheetahs won as did the Bulls and WP so 3 rd and 4th spot for the semi finals still tight.

This week ahead I have training so will be busy, doing SHE Rep functions on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday.

Apart from that not much else to say, except have a great week and keep safe

Failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 3 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Maoris, Poms & Aboriginals is not the correct answer.


Pontif POPeS in to see the POMS

Seems that this is the first Papal visit the Island by a Pope, must be that the rest of them had taste?. I am sure that many of Pope Benedict the XV1’s family had plans to visit the island in the 1940’s probably being roadies or groupies on that Big world tour that the Super Band “Adolf and the Arians” put together between 1939 and 1945 ending in Berlin with a huge “Battle of the Bands” featuring Germany, France, England, America and of course the Russians, with the Russians just sneaking in at the end much to Adolf’s disgust and he was so distraught at not having won this prestigious event he decided to kill himself and anyone else around him. The Russians however where so happy that they all but destroyed Berlin raping and pillaging until the vodka ran out. I have heard that the island now has more Catholics than Protestants and I think the last time that happened was when Henry the eighth was a little boy. Presume the next major Cleric to visit the island will be the chief Suicide bomber himself or whatever they call the leader of the peaceful Muslims (Saladin perhaps?) wonder if with the Catholics taking over as majority in the religious stakes this has led to more Paedophiles inhabiting the island seeing that many a Catholic priests seem to like little boys, something that the present Pope is admitting has happened in the past and that the church has failed those being abused. ……watch this space.

Here is also a little piece of Trivia regards boys names in the UK at the moment.

For the last 13 years Jack has been the most popular boys' name in the land. But in multicultural Britain children named after the Muslim prophet Mohammed come a close second. In a reflection of the increasing influence of Islam, figures released yesterday showed the most popular spelling of the name - Mohammed - had climbed five places to 17th in the annual list of top baby names. However, when the seven other spellings of the name are taken into account, the total comes to 6,347 babies, making it the second most popular name of the year - up from 5,936 last year. Although Jack topped the list with 6,772 babies, that figure fell 156 on last year, meaning if the trends were repeated next year, Mohammed and its variant spellings would be the most popular choice in England and Wales. The other spellings are Muhammad, Mohammad, Muhammed, Mohamed, Mohamad, Muhamed and Mohammod.

Well enough of the history lesson what’s been happening on the Frontier this last week you may well ask. I was with Ryan in Humansdorp on Monday and then went to watch Cricket at St Georges with the Warriors winning their second championship game in a row. I was not feeling that lekker and on Tuesday I had the start of the flu. I was training at the Port of Coega for 3 days, about 30 km’s from the office, so the first day I used the scooter, was like going on a road trip, going there was not to bad but coming back was a nightmare with the highway busy and Truck drivers doing there best trying to see if they could get me to come of the bike, On Wednesday I felt like death warmed up but my students waited so I took the Triumph and thank goodness I did, because by the time I left that afternoon the wind was pumping at up to 140kms per hour. Now if you have ever ridden in wind that is moderate you will know that its not easy, but try 140km s per hour headwinds and side winds its chaos, If I had been on the scooter I would have ended up in the Bay.

So as you can imagine feeling ill and having to ride in that wind I was not in a happy place, I got home at 5 pm crawled into bed and woke up at 5.30 am the next morning, feeling worse (if that was possible) than the last two days together. The bright side is that Christine (my Niece) was coming to PE on business and staying with us. The wind was bad on Thursday as well but nowhere near what it had been on Wednesday. Got home and we took Christine to see a couple of the local beaches, wanted to have a beer on the beach but the wind was howling and it was cold, so we headed home ordered Pizza and sat and chatted till early the next morning.

Friday I woke up feeling like I was going to live, which was good as NOSA had a SHE rep day at one of the lodges near Cape Recife so I took the scooter and headed for the lodge, decided to go along the beachfront, there where a number of Navy boats from India, Brazil and SA in the harbour but the best was a submarine just outside the harbour near to a couple of chokka boats (squid boats), not something you see on a regular basis while on your way to work. The day went well, with Ryan and I Presenting the environmental play and than all of the NOSA team “acting” in a staged accident scenario for the SHE Reps. It was awesome and a huge success, Lunch was a Spit Braai that they managed to Sc*&w up 10 love, a couple of drinks after the prize giving and then it was the scenic route along the coast home and to take Christine to the Airport. Was great seeing Christine and hopefully she will come and visit us again. We will see here in December at her wedding, so that’s going to be another Blog completely.

Saturday Morning was lekker lie in and get up late day. We had plans to go watch cricket and decided to go and see the ships in the harbour, was great with us visiting a SA , Indian and Brazilian ship, I was surprised at how many people had gone to look, Gabby and Stephen enjoyed themselves and was a first for all of us to board navy ships. From there it was on to the cricket to meet up with Ryan and Vusi, we got ourselves settled in the Old stand (read cheap seats) but has the band nearby. The atmosphere was great and with the Crowd behind the home team (warriors) we beat the New Zealand Stags comfortably. The second game to start at 5.30pm was the Chenai Super kings vs the Victorian Bush Rangers, Tania Gabby and Stephen decided that they had seen enough cricket for the day so took the car home, Ryan and I then watched the second game with half of the Indian navy who had pitched up to watch the game. They had a blast and I am sure that a few of them having probably tasted Mr. Charles Glass for the first time would not make their 11pm Liberty. I am also sure that they will long remember PE as being their best port of call and living up to its name “The Friendly city”. I had a little run in with an inconsiderate smoker who ignored the signs as well as the announcements that people may not smoke in the stadium. I got called a few interesting names, most having to do with either male or female reproductive organs………..Ah well.

What was great to see was Warriors and Protea’s fast Bowler Mkhaya Ntini coming to sit in the stands near the band to celebrate with the fans and sign autographs, Ryan told me he does it whenever he can. We left a few overs before the end of the second match and with Ryan coming on the scooter had to meet him halfway down Brickmackers Kloof to try and avoid the local Traffic police, as luck would have it a few meters from where he picked me up we rode past 3 traffic cops cars, luckily they either did not see us or ignored the transgression of me not wearing a helmet………….Only in Africa.

Sunday has been the proverbial day of rest, I started to read The Long way down and got out of bed at 11am then did a couple of things including irritating both Tania and Gabby. The weather today was stay at home and indoors with it being wet and windy. Much like a European summer.

I was reading yesterday that there is a new action movie called the expendables about a group of Mercenaries who go to a south American country to do some “work” Yeah, so” well the reason I mention it is because its directed by Sylvester “YO ADRIAN” Stallone and has the following cast: Rocky Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Ludgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, even Bruce “Die hard” Willis and Arnold “I will be back” Schwarzenegger put in an appearance, so all those fans of old scholl shoot 12 people with 1 bullet, blow s*&t up and always come out at the end the hero, this one is apparently for you.

Sports news this weekend is that the Currie Cup seems to be heating up with only a few matches left, The Sharks beat the Cheetahs 30-16 and the Bulls just pipped the Lions 24-21, the Log has Sharks and Province 1st and 2nd on the log and seemingly on the way to a home semi-final with 3rd -4th place being chased by the Bulls (33 points) The Cheetahs (32 points), The Lions (31 points) and Griquas (30 points) so still lots to play for .

Well that’s about it for this week. I may be going to Kingwilliams Town and Bisho next week for a few days, so could be for an interesting week ahead. Oh yeah next week is national Braai day (24th) its on Heritage day so don’t forget show you’re a TRUE South African and have a Braai here in South Africa itself . And remember it does not count if you don’t live here anymore.




Last Saturday a Earthquake hit New Zealand, (Christchurch to be exact) that registered 7.1 on the “Oh I think I am going to die” officially known as the Richter scale (I think it should perhaps be called the Rectum scale…..just a thought) and it would seem that lots of damage was done, 100 000 of the 160 000 houses in the area have been damaged beyond repair, which if you look at photos of the area does not surprise me because it looks like Umtata on a bad day, Its also amazing how many Expats with the surname like van Wyk, Coetzee and Visagie actually live there. I mean if I thought England was bad I have no idea why in the world anyone would want to live in New Zealand, it’s twice as miserable and wet than the other island. If you are so adamant that you are leaving SA then at least find a country that is similar to the one you want to leave behind, the only thing the same with New Zealand and England to SA is the amount of Afrikaans names in the telephone book. It seems that those Sefrecans that left these shores for safer pastures may also be a little confused to know that SA’s crime rate is coming down. 2008/2009 had 274 000 reported robbery related crimes and over the same period in London alone there were 72 000 . I also see that people where Looting shops and going crazy in Christchurch and here I thought it was a civilized country. I suppose many South Africans living overseas are in a CATch 22 situation as they may want to come home but now don’t have the means to do so or are perhaps to embarrassed to admit they actually do miss the family, friends and the lifestyle.

Another “CAT astrophe” according to many is the state of Bok rugby at the moment, I do not believe hat things are that bad, we have a number of layers that have not been playing well or are stil injured that will make a huge difference. Also a team goes through ups and downs and we all seem to forget the 2006 season that was a disaster and nearly saw Jake white getting canned. Lets get behind the Boks and support them through thick and thin. I believe that we will do well at the World Cup next year, New Zealand will not win (even with Paddy’s help) They cannot improve on the team they have and if one of their key players gets injured they are in trouble, Australia on the other hand I believe has a good chance at lifting the cup.

A “CAT astrophe” that happened 9 years ago yesterday (11/9/2001) or commonly known as 911 shook the world and strenghtend the USA’s resolve to fight against Terrorism, especially against those Peace loving Islamic extremists who are very tolerant when it comes to religios differences. Many innocent people died that day as have many in the past from extremist actions in many countries all over the world. We should never let extremists rule society otherwise we as citizens of the world will never settle our differences and there will be “CAT fights” in every country on the planet. Talking about Suicide bombers received this and thought was funny……….Oops sorry not politically correct or sensitive. They have also been trying to CATch Bin LAden ever since that day, so far they have not.

Suicide bombers to go on strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60 The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years in the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately voted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press: "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth"

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, where he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained: "We sympathise with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

"Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the Union in the north-east of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent, stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins in our areas anyway".

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle ˆ now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.

We had rain this week not much but enough to fill up the pool and to put some water in the water tank, not sure how much if any rain fell in the CATchment area.

Was Tania’s birthday on Friday had Ryan and the family pop over to say happy Birthday as did Mom and Dad, Tania got a number of calls from My Mom and Dad and sister etc as well as a number of face book Happy Birthdays, wanted to go to the each for a picnic on Friday afternoon, but weather did not play along so watched a couple of DVD’s and had an Lounge picnic instead.

Saturday saw Gabby playing paintball with a number of friends, looks like she had fun and enjoyed herself after that we went to St Georges park to watch the Chevrolet Warriors beat the “Umpalumpa” 11’s (a Sri Lankan side), a comprehensive victory. Many a fan had a few Charlse Glasses during the game and a few where “CAT atonic:” after the match ----- “a stupefied of unconscious state, especially caused by indulging in the amber fluid a little too much”. The organisers are using “You know I like it” as there “CAT chphrase” We managed to have a sun downer at Sardinia Bay (our favourite beach) and it was very lekker.

Cheetahs beating the Bulls 20/14 at one stage the Lions and Cheetahs joined forces to compete in the Super 12 believe they where called the CATS. The Currie Cup has been a topsy turvy affair this season with a number of teams still in the running to take the cup.

Sunday we had a Braai with family and the weather was not too bad, a little windy but blue skies and not to cold. Was nice to have the family around for a Braai, something we have not done for a while.

Anyway my training for next week was cancelled so on Monday I go to Humansdorp with Ryan to do a workshop and then that evening we are going to another cricket match at St Georges. This Friday coming we also have the NOSA annual SHE rep day and I will be helping with that.

Well that’s about it for this week, Enjoy the coming week and have fun.

This Blog is dedicated to Ryan ….”OOPS did I let the CAT out of the Bag” !!



Andy Warhol

It was Andy Warhol if my memory serves that said we will all have 15 minutes of fame in our lives, well after our trip to Clarens I think the weirdo may just have been right. But as Julie Andrews would say “let’s start at the very beginning”

After counting down the sleeps and having to present an industrial theatre to a couple of hundred Transnet employees in Uitenhage with Ryan, we picked up Gabby from School and headed uphill through the Frontier country towards the tourism Mecca of Aliwal North, arriving early evening perhaps the most interesting part of the town (apart from leaving) was finding the chalet that we had booked at the Aliwal North Spa, that took nearly as long as the 5 hour drive, what must have been a awesome stop over in the days gone bye is now just a former shadow of itself which is sad as it could be a money spinner for the local municipality if it just got of its ass and put some money into its upgrade. Needless to say we left as early as we could to take on the daunting 165 kms of what is probably the worst stretch of road in Southern Africa. I’m talking about the road between Rouxville (maar sy vrou will nie) and the turn off to Ladybrand, who by the way have an awesome new sign at the entrance to the dorp, that puts the one in Clarens to shame, and we where voted Free State village of the year ??. Perhaps the unofficial mayor can put some of his (or other peoples money) in a kitty to erect a new wall at the entrance to Clarens that will do the village justice (just a thought?)

The route from Aliwal to ladybrand and beyond is the Maloti route I think it should be called the Maloti “Pothole” Route. After a quick stop at Wepener for petrol and toilet break that had me take this photo of a dorp’s version of Mc Donalds had us in Clarens by 10.30am and first stop was at the Brewery where Meatbomb works and I had an appointment with a Blonde. Yes I know 10.30 is early but you have not lived if you have not had a Blonde that early in the morning.

The weekend after that was a whirlwind of activity, as Gabby got out of the car she just bomb shelled to find mates and as I have said it was a hectic weekend that if I had to give you a minute for minute account this could well be the longest Blog in history, so what I will do is give you what I believe where the highlights. First I have to say it was very humbling (ok I am also bragging a little, ok a lot) as to how many people wanted to see us and see how we had been doing and while we managed to see a number of friends and residents there are some that we did not get to see……”Sorry about that” While many people where happy to see us there was a cantankerous someone who was apparently not pleased that the Dunkley clan where in town…..tough shit.

So the book launch on the Saturday went rather well selling a number of books not as many as Dan Brown or Wilbur Smith but I was happy. Then it was a few drinks at Clarens Brewery with Dave and Barbara, Vee and her family, Cilla and Werner and Mark and and and that we followed up with Rugby at Friends that was just Awesome. You may all know that I consider Friends restaurant to be the beat Sports pub in the Southern Hemisphere and the Chicken strips that Kelvin serves you will find no finer in Africa. Hell I think you would be hard pressed to find chicken strips better anywhere in the world. I have been craving chicken strips since the 24h December 2009 (I left on the 23 December 2009) having tried a basket at the local watering hole in PE (The Golden Duck) that looked as if they had been fist dipped in the Gulf of Mexico and then fried in lukewarm 6 month old oil).

With an ice cold Millers in the one hand the old Clarens supporters club together for this important match all that was missing was the chicken strips, I was not to wait long, Kelvin had ensured that his kitchen staff where available and a plate of hot strips and chips was presented to me, I was in a quandary because as much as I wanted to eat the strips I was also aware that perhaps I had put the strips on a pedestal and that they would in fact not be as good as I had remembered, well let me tell you all here and now , not only where they what I remembered I believe they where better…………that first bite was like your first kiss. I had two plates. (and now its official 6 games in the Tri nations with only 1 win and that was when the V.I was at Friends with the Clarens supporters club….makes you think doesn’t it)

After Friends it was down to Rock Bottom (Steve and Franks place) used to be the Bay Horse Saloon, before that mama Thembas, Bon Souvenier, Laundry, Witblits, fruit and veg shop, mechanics etc etc , this property is quite possibly one that has had the most businesses in it over the last few years, place is looking good it was pumping with locals drinking and partying (surprise surprise)there was a band playing, pretty festive, but we must be getting ld because I have got past the stage of having to use a loudhailer to order a drink or have a conversation with the person sitting right next to you and not being able to breath due to the smoke haze that would put the industrial area of Bejing to shame. Do the smoking laws not apply in the Eastern Free State one has to wonder?? We got home deep sixed the clothes into a hazardous waste bag had a shower so that we did not smell like 4 ashtrays or an aborigine’s armpit. All in all a pretty great day.

Sunday we woke up and had a humongous leisurely breakfast with Player 24 his wife Marcel and son Nathan and then it was on to doing the rounds , saying hi and getting ready for the next book signing, we had been invited to Rob Koch’s housewarming/Valeries Birthday party that was to start at 10 am to whenever AND WITH ALL GOOD INTENTIONS wanted to get to Rob early but after seeing people and doing another book signing (listen to me I sound like Ernest Hemingway) at this one was invited locals and got to see me other good mate Jeanelle and her new love David Hubner (who is a great guy Jeanelle) we only got to Robs place after 6pm, by then the party had been in full swing for a number of hours , but was great to see another bunch of locals that had not seen as yet the music was great, there was a pig on the spit and we ate it like where extras from the movie lord of the flies or rings ..whichever one. I ate pork for every Muslim in Palestine, was good to chat and have a beer or 2 or 3 and just chill….weather was awesome the weekend as we had thought we would freeze.

Arrangements where made to meet for Breakfast at the Willows lifestyle centre for Breakfast on Monday morning and an appointment with the “Horton” Zip line that Meatbomb and I would do together only this time I would go first, so after a Lekker Breakfast of bacon, eggs, tomato and toast as well as some of the finest coffee this side of the Lesotho Highlands water scheme. Gabby also decided that she wanted to do the line so thanks to Ollie he said do it just do it for free (thanks Ollie) we got our sexy harness attached and climbed the stairs, must say felt like a condemned man going to the gallows and was more than a little nervous when I was hooked up and going over the edge (the pucker factor was definitely going off the chart) halfway across I closed my eyes and prayed that I would not do a Horton and hit the ground at mach 4 , all was well and Both Gabby and Mark and I had a lekker Zip line experience.

Gabby then went to say Hi to friends at her old school and brag a little as well, I did not realise how grown up Gabby has become since we left the village and seems we left a caterpillar behind and took the flutterby to Port Elizabeth, we also popped into Schaaplaats to see Christine, Gabby’s old riding teacher who told gabby to take Viceroy for a ride and with no second invitation needed gabby was soon saddled up and riding her favourite horse and doing what she does best (and I think born to do) we then had to rush back to the Willows Lifestyle centre for drinks with Jeanelle, David, Kathleen, Daniel, Chris, Werner and Rob (sorry we was late Jeanelle) and then onto Dinner at Street Café (some people bailed but names wont be mentioned). Tuesday morning we had a cup of coffee at Willows with a few friends and headed home back to Port Elizabeth (9 and half hour journey) that was in great weather. My only regret for the weekend was that we did not have the time to pop into the Tourism village of “Ma kwaad”, but that excitement will have to wait for next visit. We have many Spank you very much’s to say so without further ado and in no order of Preference (except the first name of course) Mark ‘Meatbomb” Horton, Natalie and Stefan (Clarens Brewery), Gordon and Marcel (Engel and Voelkers) Kelvin (Friends) , Deborah (Bibliophile), Rob and Valerie, Jeanelle and David, Werner(Arte Funto and willows Lifestyle centre), Sherri and Lawrence (Old Stone Bottle store) Chris and Segal(Millery bakery etc etc), vee, Dave and Barbara (Clarens Properties), Ollie (Xtreme adventures) Di and Paul (Clarens Magazine) Astle, Celia, Pat and Ralph, Willis, James, Mitch, Liza, Kathleen, Daniel, Stephen, Frank, Rolf , Lolly Mia, Beau, Chippy, Jaapie, Isabel, Carlo, Donve (Mountain post) etc etc etc . I got to bring 24 blondes home with me that will be keeping me company for a while so watch out for photos of where or what my Blondes and I get up to.

Here is an interesting piece of info that I received from Mr. Rolf Schlub
In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction’ Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ', (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.

I see that there are a number of South Africans including call me Arch Tutu going overseas on 24th September (Heritage day) to have a mass Braai with all the “We really do love South Africa, but wish it was run by whites and in fact we like earning pounds and not seeing our families” brigade. Well I say have your braai because we can Braai as often as we want and don’t need to pretend we love the country once a year on heritage day. The new “when we’s” (old ones where the ex Rhodesians) will probably be braaing in crappy weather anyway (well I hope it is, yeah I know not very nice but do I give a shit …..NO) Pommie heritage is eating at Indian take away’s going to watch the Saturday soccer match and trying to keep dry.

Talking about another bunch of island dwellers a 7.1 earthquake hit New Zealand yesterday this begs the question will they be able to host a safe rugby World cup, have any of their stadiums been structurally damaged that in turn cold cause a collapse and injures supporters and players alike?? Lets face it they have such puny stadiums as it is. Maybe the Big man was just looking to get rid of the islands because he is also a Bok supporter. Talking about Rugby a Great effort by the Boks against Australia yesterday in Bloem, 31-6 down after 25 minutes and to be pipped at the post 41 to 39 after playing 16 men again was really gutsy stuff, but I fear the writing is on the wall for a coach that has not take the team forward and some of the older players who are playing on reputation alone. Defence used to be our biggest asset, now an under 15 B team from the blind school could find gaps in the Boks defence defence, Habana is never on the wing anymore and should be replaced by Aplon or number of other wings in the country that would run rings around him. Steyn also did nothing begging the question why did we play him. We need finesse in the back line not bulldozers who only seem to want to smash into as many opposition players as possible and then score. There are also a couple of players that need to be taught how to pass a ball to a team mate who has a better chance of scoring than they do (Schalk and Spies spring to mind)

Another person who will be guaranteed more than 15 minutes of fame is Bees Roux who if you have not heard killed a metro traffic cop last week outside a Strip joint in Pretoria, is it me or are the Blue Bulls players not listening properly, First Bakkies was asked to use his head on the field and proceeded to head but some lucky New Zealander at the start of the Tri Nations and now Bees who was either told Go find us a new hooker or to make the first team Bees you need to ensure that we go out and beat Police this weekend ?? Seriously he is in a load of Kak even though it looks like he was not entirely in the wrong (apart from beating someone to death that is). Seems that even mediocre rugby players get payed well as Bees is on R850 000 a year contract and to be honest I had not even heard of him until he hit the news. Its no wonder he can get pissed and stick R20 notes in lap dancers G strings when he should have been home getting some shut eye so he could attend church the next morning……..ah perhaps that’s why he was on Church street…kill two birds with one stone (pardon the pun)

Well that’s about it for this week except to leave you with this sage advice I saw on an old farts t shirt the other day “I would rather be a smart ass than a dumb shit”

Oh saw this number plate on Friday. Unfortunately could not wait to see if the driver was or not

The ex village Idiot
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