Steps to take in case of a fire………..

“Frikken large ones” would be my answer, but at Nkandla it would be pick up a bucket and “fillit” up from the pool and “frow” it on the fire. Of all the excuses that Publics work Minister Thulas Nxesi  gave at a press briefing yesterday (19/12/2013) as to the  208 million rand upgrades to JZ’s Nkandla homestead this would be my favourite, although having to build an expensive path because of high heels comes a close second (Didn’t know that JZ was a cross dresser, but  as they say in the classics you learn something new every day) As I have said of the 10 explanations given my favourite is the reason they put in a swimming pool is that due to the positioning of Nkandla and the fact that no fire station is situated  within a reasonable distance from Nkandla.

1)    National police commissioner Riah Phiyega explained that those who grew up in rural areas knew that “there are no fire extinguishers or fire brigades”.
She said the “best we know is to take a bucket, dip it in water and throw it on the fire”.
General Vijay Ramlakan, the retired surgeon-general who represented the defence force, confirmed that there was “what is referred to in the media” as a swimming pool, but that the department of defence’s original request had been “translated by public works engineers into what is there”.

For the other 9 “if you have 1 brain cell” reasons go to And believe me there are some doozies.
They did not mention why a multi-million R gym had been built as part of the security upgrades (that by the way did not cost the tax payer anything, so that begs the question who paid for it ?) my answer to the press and the thousands upon thousands of pissed off South African Tax payers would be the following.

“Due to the fact that many people call our President a fat cat we thought that we should let him gym to get rid of that perception, however it will also mean that if the chicken coop, new kraal, air-conditioning, swimming pool or new paving does not keep the tsoties away or fires from bennnning the house, then he will be fit enough to be able to run away, as long as he is not wearing high heels, or run to the pool with a bucket and put out the fire”……………..
I know many are going to be upset with me, but I am just so happy that they have eventually buried Nelson Mandela…………… was seriously getting to much with the outside world basically not existing from the day after he died.………… then of course are all those expats that basically left SA due to the fact that the ANC with Nelson Mandela as its leader came into power and decided to pack their bags ……………Now all of a sudden he is their saint and thousands have his face as their FB or BBM etc picture. Don’t get me wrong he did some great things but we also need to remember about the many thousands of other ordinary South Africans (Black and white) who have died at the hands of animals who know that if they do get caught the chances of a hefty sentence are minimum and if they do go to jail the chances of escaping or pretending to be ill and getting early parole are good .   

 One also has to laugh at the many African politicians who harped on about Madiba’s legacy of forgiveness, humanity, compassion, humility etc etc but they themselves are don’t live up to those same standards or ideals.

So here is a question for you……………….. “Has convenience made things inconvenient”? Let’s look at that statement for a moment and dwell upon it while I go make myself a cup of coffee (Ok open a Millers).
Not too long ago I decided that I needed a McDonalds real bad (I know, I must have been really hungry) so popped into the nearest one, there was a lengthy queue at the drive thru so I decided to go inside order and eat which I did. As we know the service at McDonalds is not the fastest, in fact they manage to put a whole new meaning into “fast food” even so I must have been about 10 – 12 minutes and when I walked  out cars that had been in the back of the queue had not yet reached the window to receive their orders. Now I may be wrong (and I often R) but I thought the whole point of the drive thru was to provide quick takeaway food for those in a hurry?

I think that in this day and age we have become so attached to the idea of convenience that we will put up with inconvenience to achieve it. We seem to be surrounded with items that do things for us, automatic dog and cat food dispensers, electric juicers, tin openers, fridges that automatically make ice cubes, electric windows and my favourite  disposable toothbrushes  that have the toothpaste already squeezed on it………………I mean how lazy is that ?

Automatic gates and garage doors are my favourite, it’s amazing how many people have them and they don’t work properly or decide not to work at all. It all seems great as you swing into the drive or drive towards the garage and as you press the button of the remote control it either opens and closes as it’s supposed to or the gate half opens and you press the button a few more times and the gate goes back to the start and then gets stuck halfway which means that you need to get out of the car and hand crank the gate open, which usually entails you having to crawl on all fours.

 With automatic Car doors they will open as expected or slow down just a little which will mean that you will take the bottom panel off the door. They can also have a mind of their own and will only decide to close if there is a chance that it can crush the gardener or one of the kids bikes.  You then get up on a chair and try to repair the motor with either a screwdriver a hammer or in my case both.  You then call in the garage door or gate motor repairman  who takes his holidays in the Bahamas, so while we buy gadgets to make our lives more convenient what they n fact do is add expense and complications to our lives. Is it a coincidence that the first syllable of convenience is Con ??.................I think not. 

Seems that Steef “I have a million kids” Hofmeyer and Jooooolius “I wish I had a million brain cells” Malema were both arrested for speeding but Malema got pissed off because he was given a bigger bail amount. Malema was released on R5 000 bail after being arrested doing 215 in a 12o zone while Hofmeyer was released on R500 bail for doing 175 in a 120 zone. “Keep the assholes in jail for all I care”……………seems that with death of Paul Walker they are looking for new talent for the movie Franchise , Steve and Jooolias may just fit the bill………..they may however need to change the  title  as the poster says to  “The Fat and The Furious”.    

Was at a local Musica store on Friday (yep Xmas shopping) and imagine my surprise when I see that Vinyl is making a comeback. The ACDC albums of which I have the originals are going for R269 each. 

Expecting family from the UK to arrive today, Nicole, Doug, Amber and newest addition Lexi have been visiting Doug’s dad and brother who still live in SA and they will then spend time with us and Nicoles dad and brother and his family here in PE. So the house is going to be busy for a while, especially Xmas day when we will have 15 adults’ kids and a baby running around for Xmas day Lunch. So let’s hope that the weather is good. I know that Tania can’t wait to see her sister and hold her Niece Lexi for the first time………………..”yeah ok I am also looking forward to meeting my Niece
for the first time as well”

Today is the last day of the first test against India and SA need 261 runs with 6 wickets in hand, let’s hope that we can do it , but chasing a world record last innings score of 458 to win. Morne Steyn was all full of himself prior to start of the test as to how the Indian batting line up was suspect and that the SA bowlers would rip into them, well let’s hope those words don’t come back and bite him on the ass…………….Kallis was given out LBW and he def had an inside edge, let’s hope that it’s not an expensive mistake from the umpires.

Well this will probably be the last post for this year, I have been on and off this year regards posts, to be honest for a while have not really felt like writing, but have also have been busy with other things as well. Let’s see what next year brings.

Do yourself a favour sit down and list all the great things that you did or happened to you in 2013. I did and had a pretty good year. We tend to remember the kak (shit to non-South African readers) that happens and not the good. I will tell you mine in the first Blog of 2014. 

So all that is left to say is Merry Christmas (yep I say Christmas, not Festive season or HAPPY HOLIDAYS like my politically don’t want to piss off the minorities friends tend to say ) to you and your loved ones and I wish you all a 2014 that is everything you hope for.



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