Legally Blonde

It’s not every day your wife of 25 years lets you have a Blonde in her company, but Saturday was my lucky day with Tania not only allowing me one but two Blondes in one night............what can I say other than she is an Awesome wife.  It helps that the two Blondes happen to be a beer from my favourite micro brewery.............. “Clarens Brewery” . The beers were sent by Meatbomb with Jeanelle and Dave who visited us from Clarens on Saturday night, so was great to see them as well. But i am getting ahead of myself; let’s see what else happened this week.
Monday to Wednesday I presented a course called  “Incident Investigation level 3”  and hopefully will be signed off on it, will find out this week. Must say I enjoyed presenting it, this week coming I am in East London and doing HIRA training. 

This week the main road that Tania uses to take Gabby to school had to be closed due to a giant sinkhole swallowing up a large piece of the road, with all the rain we have had AFTER 2 YEARS OR MORE OF DROUGHT  its playing havoc on the roads. I think the next two weeks are going to be chaos as it’s a main thoroughfare.

Friday night Tania, Gabby and I went to watch The EP kings play the Griffons (from Welkom) and while the stadium was not very busy it was a really good game with the EP kings running in over 11 tries and winning 74  - 24. I saw the fastest try I have seen scored, at the start of 2nd half the EP kings kicked off, but aimed the ball at the left wing and he missed it, but our right winger did not and ran through to score a try, the stadiumclock had not even started for the second half yet. We also had a small band near us so was pretty festive. 

Saturday Jeanelle and her FiancĂ© David stayed overnight with us, I had gone to watch the Boks play the All Blacks on Saturday AM. Well what can we say about the 40-7 hiding. With only 40 days to go before the RWC begins I am very worried about our chances.      

Showed Jeanelle and Dave a few of the sites, had a drink at Barney’s at the sea front and then back to the Duck to watch the Sharks beat the Cheetahs (much to Jeanelle, Dave’s, Cindy and Cheeky’s delight). Was not much of a sporting Saturday for me. Went home, had a braai and my 2 Blondes were patiently waiting for me (bless their cotton socks). Was really lekker to have J and D stay with us and hopefully soon Meatbomb and Liza will come and visit (hint hint)  

It would seem that a couple of ANC members have been arrested (see clip);The Hawks have arrested KwaZulu-Natal Economic Development MEC Mike Mabuyakhulu and the province’s speaker, Peggy Nkonyeni, in connection with the R44m "Amigos" fraud, corruption and money laundering case. Lets see if they actually do get charged or are suspended with full pay and then given a ambassadorship somewhere, that’s what they do to all those that steal, cheat, rape and pillage (so much for sound governance)

 This afternoon I rode to East London again, must be the 4th time in the last month, must say though (apart from the potholes that if I had a R for everyone I saw or avoided I would be rich) I had a great ride, Sunny and warm with little wind, made good time and made it to East London in just over 2 and ea half hours.  
Well that’s it for this week


Once a Pirate always a Pirate.

This week saw Nelson Madiba turning 93 years old with the whole country as well as many other  countries in the world  celebrating this day with 67 minutes of doing good for a community or individual. I see that Madiba is staying in Qunu indefinitely; this to me says that he is preparing to spend his last year/s in his home. Rest well Madiba, you deserve it.
The more astute of you would have noticed that last week I did not write a Blog, probably the main reason was that I only got back home from East London on Sunday evening. Left Saturday morning at 3.30am and started training at 8am, then on Sunday drove back home, didn’t get much sleep on Saturday night either so I was knackered when I got hone......................Hence no Blog.  
Last Friday morning the husband of one of my work colleagues died of a heart attack, he got out of bed complaining of a head ache and he collapsed from a  heart attack, makes you think that life is very fragile and that one needs to try and make the best of every day, because you never know when your last day on earth will be. So tell your loved ones every day you love them, don’t ASSUME they know.

I was in Knysna on Tuesday, drove through with a work colleague and land3ed up at Buffels baai (Buffalo bay) what an awesome place, about 16 kms from Knysna and away from the maddening crowds. Lovely beach and it’s the type of place one could retire to become a full time writer (if only we had of won that 166 million pound lotto last week)....”Sigh” the things we could have done.

Keith got back from his overseas trip on Thursday......brought the kak weather with him as it rained all day Sunday but from the sounds of it he had a Jol, but Very Happy to be home. As they say East West home is best. Sure he was happy to see the Blue sky again. I got a copy of the last News Of The World newspaper that was printed(10 July 2011) before it closed down, the newspaper was first established in 1843. The newspaper had including the last one had 8674 editions published (in 168 years) and had a readership of 7.5 million readers. 
Out of interest I looked to see what was happening in world history in 1843. Here is what I came up with.  Great Britain annexes Natal ,  Preacher William Miller of Mass predicts the world will end in May 1843, Charles Dickens' novella A Christmas Carol is first published. he world's first commercial Christmas cards are printed by Sir Henry Cole in London – The first major wagon train headed for the American Northwest sets out with one thousand pioneers from Elm Grove, Missouri on the Oregon Trail.

With the fuel strike into its second week stations in some parts of the country are starting to run dry, Gauteng being hardest hit, we seem to be ok at the moment, but its definitely strike month as the coal miners are going on strike, I hear the taxi drivers are going to go on strike to show their displeasure of the fuel sector being on strike .........yeah I know  “only in SA”   

I see that twat Malema is building a house worth R16 000 000 just pisses me off that someone with a std 2 education can do that without creating any factory or business , I also read he was given a 1.2 million rand car as a thank you from a very happy construction owner who gained a 200 million rand contract because of Malema’s influence....................and they say hard brings rewards.................Not when it comes to this tool.

Thursday i went to watch Pirates vs Chiefs at the stadium..Was awesome and definitely a sports event one has to attend. Atmosphere was electric, the noise levels off the charts and best of all Pirates won 1-0 (although they lost 3-0 against Tottenham Hotspurs in the final on Saturday.       

Ryan was telling me about a certain Hotel group that will be patrolling corridors at night to spot snorers , so now when you book accommodation you can ask for non-smoking and the non snoring floor, but what happens if you smoke but don’t snor?. So the room rates will have to go up to hire omeone to patrol the corridors listening for snorers. What will they do if your on a non snoring floor but you are caught snoring, break down your door and then frog march you to the rooms that allow snorers, what happens if there are more snorers than rooms..............Double people up? Its just crazy if you ask me.

I see that Amy Winehouse died on Saturday in her home, Police say they do not know how what the  cause of her death is at the moment, but don’t think you have to be a rocket scientist to work that one out.  She joins the 27 club (Jim Morrison, Brian Jones (founder member of the Rolling Stones), Kurt Kobain, Jimi Hendrix and  Janis Joplin are all famous musicians that died at aged 27)   
So the Boks started off the Tri nations with a hiding from the Aussies (39/20)   I missed the game as I left home at 3,30am again to go to EL to do training and drove back the same day getting an hour out of EL to discover that I had left my computer bag in the car park. I had to then go back and hope that my bag was still there (it was) I cannot tell you how relieved I felt, I only got home just after 8.30pm........Twas a long day. Sunday I slept in , first time for a couple of weeks and it felt good. Always seems to be better when it’s cold and raining outside...............”Lovely UK summer weather “ 

I know SA has a reputation as being a crime ridden, rape infested country and while we do excel in these activities compared to the “civilized first world countries”  However i see that Norway has produced a mass killer who on Friday killed 92 people. 32 year old Anders Breivik donned a police uniform and started to shoot young people at a  youth camp that held 504 young adults aged between 14 and 19. He shot 85 and blew up another 7, he was arrested and could get 21 years jail if found guilty................I did not even think they allowed guns in Norway??     

     Spoken by great men about the qualities of South African soldiers
"Give me 20 divisions American soldiers and I will breach Europe. Give me 15 consisting of Englishmen, and I will advance to the borders of Berlin. Give me two divisions of those marvellous fighting Boers and I will remove Germany from the face of the earth."

Field Marshal Bernard L. Montgomery, Commander of the Allied forces during WWII.
"The Americans fight for a free world, the English mostly for honour and glory and medals, the French and Canadians decide too late that they have to participate. The Italians are too scared to fight; the Russians have no choice. The Germans for the Fatherland. The Boers? Those sons of bitches fight for the hell of it."

American General, George "Guts and Glory" Patton
"Take a community of Dutchmen of the type of those who defended themselves for fifty years against all the power of Spain at a time when Spain was the greatest power in the world. Intermix with them a strain of those inflexible French Huguenots, who gave up their name and left their country forever at the time of the revocation of the Edict of Nantes. The product must obviously be one of the most rugged, virile, unconquerable races ever seen upon the face of the earth. Take these formidable people and train them for seven generations in constant warfare against savage men and ferocious beasts, in circumstances in which no weakling could survive; place them so that they acquire skill with weapons and in horsemanship, give them a country which is eminently suited to the tactics of the huntsman, the marksman and the rider. Then, finally, put a fine temper upon their military qualities by a dour fatalistic Old Testament religion and an ardent and consuming patriotism. Combine all these qualities and all these impulses in one individual and you have the modern Boer."
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

We have friends coming to visit next Saturday from Clarens so that will be lekker (Jeanelle and David are on way back from Cape Town to Clarens, so get to watch a Free State vs. Sharks game at the Duck) looking forward to that. sure we will get some lie down photos as well.
Presenting a incident level 3 course from Monday to Wednesday (hopefully I will get signed off on it).

Well that’s it for now, have a great week

Lie down and ..............................

Spent another few days in the utopia some retards call East London and if I thought it was wet, windy and cold last week, the big man decided to turn it up a notch or 2 (actually make that 3 notches). The ride there was not too bad; it was cold and wet but no wind for a change. Monday i did training just down the road from the guest house i was staying in and it rained most of the day. 

Tuesday morning I heard it begin to rain at about 6 am and the wind was pumping as it can only do in Port Elizabeth or East London , I was sort of half asleep when I felt splashes on my face and the sound of water running, I put on the bedside lamp I (as still Frikken dark........Summer cannot come fast enough for me) look up and see water streaming down the wall behind the bed, i get up to move the bed away from the wall (yes I am a considerate guest) and step in 3 inches of water. Then it started to hail and then it really began to rain. Don’t think I have ever seen or heard it rain like that. I managed to find a dry patch and get dressed etc, I nearly had to swim to breakfast as the pool at Tindale was so full that the water was a few inches onto the paving. 

Vincent park shopping centre a mere 2 blocks away got the majority of the hail that blocked up the storm water drains, gutters etc and the entire centre was flooded, the lower level in particular was hard hit with some of the shops not opening for 2 days. In St Francis bay the bridges that links it to civilization was washed away...Plenty of damage in both PE and EL.

Going to ASPEN 15 kms away on the bike was an experience and saw many a pool of water, accidents as well as broken down vehicles (seems South Africans don’t think that if you hit a large pool of water at speed you will either aquaplane  into another car or leave the road or the cars engine will get flooded and it will stop). 

Managed to pick up a roofing screw in the front tyre so had to buy a new one as the hole was to big to repair and to be honest a plug on a bike tyre is asking for trouble.  I was meant to train Thursday and Friday, but due to a admin error it did not happen so that meant i could get the tyre fixed and that i was home a day early. The ride home was windy and wet (surprise surprise, I hit a patch of mud coming into a corner and i  now know what a GP bike rider feels when he slides through a corner, only difference is that he is in control, I was not..................yep change the undies type moment) 

I believe that Port Alfred and surrounds is like Seattle in the USA as its always frikken raining there, whenever you are approaching Port Alfred from either PE or EL there is precipitation taking place. Anyway was great to get home and to sleep in my own bed for a change.     
I have been (thanks to Doug) entering the UK super jackpot that stands at 166 million pounds (lots of SA R) and have not won.................. but have won, the Canadian lotto twice the Irish lotto  the BBC lotto as well as the Outer Mongolian Lotto once (this week alone) and I did not even great is that. I also have two people from Nigeria who call me “dearest” and want to deposit $ 124 000 000 into my bank account, how lucky am I...................All they need is my bank account details and permission to access it so they can deposit the loot.............Do people still fall for that shit ??    

This week must be lets show the public that the Eastern Cape does in fact have traffic officials as when riding home on Thursday I saw 3 lots of traffic cops stopping cars, and trapping and on the way to the Grahamstown Art festival we also saw a number of traffic officials. They are a rare breed in this part of the Eastern Cape. Here is a photo of the newest airline that will be running soon, its owned by the SA National Taxi Association. Made up of 18 Toyota Hiace and Quantams, has seating for 100 (which means they can pack in 350). The plane also has 13 roof racks so it can also take livestock and cargo. Can’t wait to take a trip on Kamikaze airlines.........................”Not”  
Had a good weekend, Tania, Gabby and I met up with a work colleague and his girlfriend and went to watch the Eastern province Kings play the Cheetahs on Friday night, the EP kings played well but the Cheetahs came back to win 26-20. 

On Saturday Tania and I drove to Grahamstown to the Art Festival, Gabby was at the Boma (writing a test about snakes and giving tours), Proud of Gabby as she has really worked hard to be able to do this and took 19 people on her first tour (Brains from mom and then ease to talk to strangers from dad)

The Art Festival was ok, we had never been there before so ended up on Church square at the  Nigerian Drug Lord market, we eventually found the Village square market and had a look around. Next year we will know  and go straight there. Grahamstown may have Rhodes University but I would rather live in East London (so now you know how kak I think the place is). Had lunch at Steers and watched the last 20 minutes of the Super 15 final.......Soooooo happy the Reds beat the Crusaders. Met up with a coloured dude that was wearing an All Blacks jersey and going on about how we were supporting the Reds because our Kak teams were not good enough. I asked him why he does not support the Boks, he said he does not support Shit teams, only then best team in the world......I asked him who are the current World Champs and he went on about hoe the Boks had bought the World cup etc etc. I shook his hand wished him well and shouted for the Reds. That’s why I do not want the All Blacks to win the RWC.            

Perhaps the best part of the weekend was that I did not have to leave for EL this afternoon and that I am in PE all week. Need to get my ass in gear and study for my exams in August.....Need to do well.

Well that’s about it for this week, hope you all enjoy the week ahead.


PS: heard that god friends of ours may be coming to stay with us at end of this month, that will be awesome...................can’t wait Jeanelle.

Winds of change

Last week Port Elizabeth was hit with high winds, driving rain and cold weather, at one stage I thought the roof was going to end up in the neighbour’s yard. Even though we had the winter solstice on June 21st (Shortest day, longest night) it would seem I got excited for nothing because   winter has arrived. On Sunday I had to go to East London, took the bike and had a wet and cold ride...........”Still” enjoyed it though”. For those that are interested dam levels now at 80% in PE area ............Yeah.

Dad Brewerton is apparently safe and having fun in Canada, this after he had been in England for a few days to see his daughter, son in law and granddaughter.............From a few quick FB reports as well as one or two photos seems he had fun, we really thought that either dad, Nicky or Doug would have flooded FB with photos of the visit. (I post more photos on FB if I go to the shops)  We may be lucky and get some photos from Canada, but not holding my breath. Somehow I get a feeling when dad goes back to the island before he comes home; we will be inundated with photos..........................”Hint Hint”  
I have friends at the Duck  (my local) that are from EL and they get defensive when I call it a dump, I need to apologise and withdraw that remark, “it’s actually a Shit Hole”. Its dirty, the drivers suck and the roads are disgusting it’s like an Umtata clone. Apparently properties there are more expensive here than in PE, it’s a statement I find it hard to believe because I really cannot believe people would voluntary want to move there, it is without doubt my least favourite place to visit. The only saving grace is that I get to stay (most times) at Tindale Lodge, Carl and Glenda are awesome and the food Carl produces is out of this world..............His fillet Steak is to “die for” as they say in Sandton.     

I have to say that I am glad I ain’t single, as I was trudging along the litter infested streets of Vincent to Mc Donald’s I thought that I would not want to be a single person , it’s depressing to think that you go to work, get back home, make a meal or bring in take aways watch TV  all by yourself (and in winter its worse and even more depressing). I don’t think I could handle living alone again after having someone in my life for 30 years.......................”Would be really hard”.

Training was good. Had a Lekker group of students, so all well. The ride back to PE on Thursday however was KAK, 60 knot (that’s 111 km per hour) headwinds throw in crazy drivers, goats, potholes, cows an initiation attendee and his dog and you have a really interesting 300km trip. No rain you ask..................Got lucky nearly all the way back but just as I came into PE, probably 10kms from the office was hit by a cloudburst, was weird as right of the highway was sunshine, on the left over the ocean was a awesome rainbow (probably the best I have ever seen)  and on the highway itself  precipitation was falling on me as they say in the classics, obviously I stopped to take a photo with the cell phone (however this photo does not do the rainbow justice) 

Seems lately every time I turn on the TV either the ANNCYL, COSATU, SACP or the ANC are having a conference to discuss policy etec etc, The ANC in Limpopo have backed Julius ‘the twat” Malema’s call for nationalization if the mines, that’s  because they are all Julius Clones, young Dumb and full of air. (Hot air)

Perhaps the joke of the week though has to be that the SA Taxi association want to open an airline........Yeah and it’s not even April. Would I fly on air disaster.............Not a Frikken chance. I must say though I would like to see a Boeing 747 with a roof rack and trailer. If you can stuff over 100 kids into a Toyota Hilux, just imagine how many they can get in a 747............the mind boggles....................... “Welcome to Kamikaze airlines”. Reminds me of the joke where an air Nigeria Boeing is coming into  land at London’s Heathrow airport and the air traffic controller asks the pilot for his height and position..........He answers “Five foot 7 and sitting in the front seat”.  

Talking about airports Ryan flew to Mozambique on Friday morning and he had a little trouble at Oliver Tambo International.................I will let him tell the story:  “When I got to the airport at JHB, my luggage did not come through, but another bag that looked exactly the same as mine was on the conveyor. The luggage guys said that someone else must have taken my bag by mistake. They tried tracking him down, but could not get his cell number, they then opened his bag and found some medication for him from Greenacres, so they phoned the hospital, got his wife’s cell number, then got his number from her. They phoned him and told him he had the wrong bag, and he refused to believe them. Eventually they convinced him to stop his car and check his luggage – he was halfway to PTA by this time. Needless to say I had to wait for him to come all the way back to the airport. I just managed to check in on time to my flight to Tete! Life is never boring when you travel around South Africa! Or the rest of the continent for that matter”!

Super 15 semi finals saw the Blues play the Reds and the Stormers take on the Crusaders this weekend,  I wanted a Blues/Stormers final as this would have meant that Stormers would have played at home next weekend, its’ a good job I did not bet on the games because it’s a Red/Crusaders final and to be honest I probably won’t be watching it. The Stormers were very disappointing and showed no intensity or a will to want to win the game. Perhaps the week break was not a good thing, although it worked for the Reds........................Ah well there is always next year. I see the Cheetahs will be losing their young scrum half (Sarel Pretorius) to the Waratahs of all teams.............again Cheetahs discover the player and get him to a good level of playing and they F%@k off to greener pastures ................No loyalty these days. 

So what’s up next week you may well ask, Saddling up the “Boney” once again and heading to...................Yes you guessed it “The Shithole” for another week of varied training and loneliness, doing She Reps, Noise induced hearing loss and then Hazard identification Risk assessment (HIRA) training.

Doug in the UK bought tickets (myself included) for the 136 million pound super lottery...........still writing the Blog so i did not win, its’ now rolled over to 154 million pounds......1.5 billion Rand......can u imagine winning that type of money............talking about the island seems that David Cameron (he is the Prime Minister in case you did not know) has decided that you will be able to get rid of illegal squatters as well as be able to Bash a Burglar should the need arise.    
I leave you with this SMS a friend of mine sent (Yes I do have friends)

“As you know my wife has been missing for a week, I just received a phone call from the police saying I should expect the worst!..........I have just come back from the Salvation army as I had to go and get all of her cloths back”.........................(Not that I find this funny)

Have a great week, and think of me in East London.
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