The No name Blog

One of the best Comeback lines ever. For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian.

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE: Idon't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio cast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, this interview was over

Hey we may not like playing sport against them but you got to hand it to the Aussies they call a spade a shovel. Here that they have a new aftershave in the outback that has become an instant hit with all the farmers its called “Mint Sauce”

Gabby found me a great book at her school library on the early days of Port Elizabeth it’s really interesting and is from before the 1820 settlers came to 1947, loads of old and interesting photos as well.

Have had the opportunity to explore some of the older areas of PE and its so sad to see so many old houses falling to rack and ruin, there are areas that houses are being renovated and some small coffee shops are springing up , but in general the areas have become victim to urban blights and will take many a year to get back to there former glory if at all. These are definite areas to watch however for investment opportunities.

Had a couple of calls and e-mails from Clarenites seeing how we are doing and asking if we are missing the village, answer to that has to be “yes and no” its just been over a month since I left and its about two months for Gabby and Tania. Got to say I like it here, met a few people, become involved with things that I like, apart from not working at the moment, I am actually very content and feel made a good decision to come to PE……”the wind however does suck” especially when the trees are doing yoga. So yes I do miss the village and many people in it but I don’t miss it as bad as I thought I would. I think I probably miss a number of individuals more than the village itself, I miss my local “Friends” terribly and have not as yet found a local pub here I can call my own. I also have a yen for Chicken strips, but have to content myself on thinking about the ones at Friends.

I see that there is a whole association that you can become a member of in PE if you have fallen out of the sky. You can become a Meat Bomb Member. or “M.B.A” for short. Talking about Meat Bomb, he has the best job in the world………. He is now employed by Natalie and Stefan from Clarens Brewery, so he gets to work with awesome people, has to be able to tell customers what the beer tastes like, so I am sure he does much tasting, also gets to watch sport when at work and he gets company transport…….i hope they are not also paying him, because that would be just to much for me to bear!!!!!!!!!!

Watched Ben Hur this week and the chariot race reminded me of present day Formula 1 with Charlton Heston being a Jewish Michael Schumacher. Chariot racing was without doubt the first organised motor sport in the world and if you get a chance watch the movie and you will see what I mean. There are crashes (some on purpose) “shades of Renault, injuries with the crowds going ape, that’s what many of us watch for as well, even if you wont admit it.

Seems that the “Island” is becoming increasingly under threat from the “Kaboom” brigade and recently the Pommie government raised the security alert to that of the United States…………………………………… “We is expecting a huge Bang”: alert

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threatsand have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "ABit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada..

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get theBastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they havebeen used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent firethat destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing thecountry's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shoutloudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levelsremain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the onlythreat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty
teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime
Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which
is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to"She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "Ithink we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Got an e-mail last week to say that Muslims are peace loving and not at all aggressive, well Camel Jockey Fan have a look at the photos and answer these 3 questions for me

1) Who are these people?
2) Was it not Hitler that said he wanted Peace? “What he forgot to say he wants a peace of France a peace of England” etc etc
3) Do they not teach them to spell at Suicide bombers school?

“Just leave them alone……………Your so cruel and hate Muslims, “no I don’t hate Muslims I just hate the ones that hate me” which if I think of it may be nearly all of them. Oh sh-t I think I hear “Imeflyin dem microlite” buzzing the house.

I see that Rueben Kruger died this week after losing a battle with Brain Cancer, Rueben was very instrumental in helping the BOKS win the 1995 world cup and was named player of the year in 1995. Ruebens scored the try that wasn’t in the Final against the All Blacks. Rest in Peace Reubens.

This story was related to me on Thursday by a member of the PAG in the NCO’s Mess and had me doubled over with laughter. “This is the original Rebel without a clue”. A friend sometime in the 70’s decided to buy a motorbike and travelled to Johannesburg and purchased a 1000 cc BMW, he did not want to ride it all the way from there to PE so he had it railed to Bloemfontein and it was here he collected it and was going to ride it home. The gent had watched the movies and realised that apart from his helmet he also needed gloves and a leather jacket “as that’s what bikers wore”. He set out for PE and by the time he got to Colesburg he was pretty stiff “Free State winters tend to do that to you on a bike” he pulled into a Golden Egg restaurant (if you remember them, then you are getting old, just like me) and it apparently had large windows with a number of people sitting and looking out of them. Must have been a dearth of entertainment in that part of the world because the gent seemed to be the main attraction. While the gent had learnt how to get onto his new bike this was the first time he would be getting off, after a number of attempts he eventually located the side stand and rested the bike on it, by this time the clients in the Golden egg must have wondered what this leather clad biker was up to.

Due to him being cold and stiff he apparently could not get his right leg over the saddle to dismount so he decided to slide across the saddle of the back of the bike, burning his legs on the exhaust as he did so, he then attempted to remove his helmet with his gloves on but could not operate the release buckle, so he took the gloves off and lay then on the tank “as he had seen in the movies”. One of the gloves fell off the tank and he bent down to pick it up but hit the tank with his head “lucky you had the helmet on there sir”! the bike almost fell over , but he managed to grab it before it did…by this time I am sure the clients in the Golden Egg must have thought they where on Candid Camera……….they where not and more was to come. Eventually getting his helmet off he grabbed it and thrust the helmet under his right arm “as he had seen done in the movies” only to have it pop out like a bar of soap from your hands in the bath and roll down the parking lot. Many of the diners by this time where in fits of laughter (can you blame them?). the gent stayed in the restaurant for a while and had about 15 cups of coffee waiting for the clients to leave. From what I can gather he managed to get back on the bike and get it to PE without to many mishaps, but promptly sold it.

While the country up north is flooded and crops and property are being lost to the heavy rains being experienced. Here in PE its no rain as usual in fact starting to become like one of those Karoo kids who can get to 5 years of age and nevr have seen rain. A lady who used to work with me lived in Katima Mulilo for a number of years and moved to Vrede in the Free State, she said she was at school one day with her sister and it hailed, obviously the noise on the tin roof was loud, causing her and the sister to dive under the desk, the reason was a) they had never seen hail before b) they had come from an area frequently attacked by Swapo terrorists and thought they were being attacked. I was wondering why when it does rain further North it never seems to rain in the mythical “Catchment areas” which begs the question where the people that planned the dams and were to put them really Dof or just a little retarded? When it does rain in this part of the world you bare hoping it will be in the catchment area, but its like going on a first date “your hopeful” but…………….”Sorry not a chance”

For those that have been following my Blog I just want to report that I have at long last managed to get the last of the prickly pear thorns out of my cheek.

Quote for the week comes from an unknown military pilot: “When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

Well hope you have a good week, keep fingers crossed that I will find a job sometime soon
Oh just in, check this out, as it has The village idiot taking on Kentucky in PE, was sent in by Doug (my brother in law from the Island) "Yes I know perhaps I should just say he is in jail and a Stormers supporter "

The “Ex” Village idiot

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