"Life's a beach"

Have just been in PE for a short while but already I am amazed at the “sites you see on the beaches”, with holiday season still upon the city I am not sure if the ‘sites are locals or visitors” ……I pray they are visitors. My mom has a saying “the things you see when you don’t have a gun” I also seem to have become possessive about the beaches as well. Its like the uncultured masses have invaded and are making merry while those of us that reside here are praying for a Tsunami or some other natural disaster to rid the sand of these hordes, so that they will jump in their upmarket SUV’s or Luxury Sedans and head home back into the interior.

But its not only the beaches they invade it’s the pubs and restaurants as well and while I at present don’t have a pub I can call home I am sure the one or two I have visited in then short time I have been here will be a tad quieter when they leave. They seem to own the roads and traffic rules seem to be forgotten when people are on Christmas holidays, but then again those that have lived in Clarens for a while see this on a regular basis when it seems that visitor seem to have lost the use of their senses.

The coast line becomes heaven for those who collect and sell refuse as the beaches from Maitland to Kings beach are strewn with broken bottles, empty KFC, Mc Donalds and Steers wrappers as well as enough plastic to re-model Pamela Andersons “Boobies”. The only justice is that those who are from the interior usually get stung by jelly fish and its interesting to see their reactions especially those “dof” enough to actually pick one up and inspect it.

I have so far identified a number of sub cultures that use the beaches and while I am sure that there will be others added the longer I live here for the moment I have identified the following

1) The Dog set: (walk their dogs on the beach and let them sh-t wherever they want, so you have to keep an eye out for dog poo, sure they would not like it if I crapped near the steps of their pool)
2) The Horse set: (the same as above only they ride their pets up and down the beach and the sh-t is a LOT bigger)
3) Ken and Barbie fitness fanatics: (they are so tanned they look like leather and they run everywhere)
4) People who should not be let out in public with a belly ring and/or bikini “its just nasty”
5) The Newbies: (That’s us, pasty white and trying to fit in, usually get sunburnt, yes done that as well)
6) The move the house to the beach families: (Families that bring everything to the beach except the microwave)

Got sunburnt the other day while snorkelling so I am like a Pommie cricket supporter after 5 days at Newlands, so a tad sensitive on the back. Went snorkelling again a couple of days back, not best weather as was blowing a gale and high tide, so the placid lagoon we snorkelled in last week looked like a scene out of pirates of the Caribbean. Ryan caught a skrik when out the corner of his eye he saw something surge towards him, he was very lucky as it was a Great White “plastic bag” he managed to contain the immediate danger and then stuffed it in his pocket. As you can see Tania Gabby and I have really embraced the beach culture as well and bought the latest Billabong kit.

Think that I will start looking at a new photo theme in PE “what one should not wear or do at a beach” it could be fun.

So how has the job hunting gone I hear you ask, well not that great if I am honest, but this is the first week that I have put out feelers and hopefully will not take to long before something comes along.

Talking about jobs and money, I was reading a newspaper article last week about the CEO of Checkers was given an option to buy 10 million shares at R6.50 per share just before Xmas. This he did and then sold 42% of them a week later and made himself R 276 000 000. Now I don’t know about you but I just find this to be totally over the top and now know why the staff are forever striking, how can one man earn R276 000 000 in a week? Am I being jealous, naïve? Just does not make sense to me

Managed to get a couple of lying down photos this week, visited the Bay aquarium and Museum and Doug persuaded me to hop a fence for the one shot and don’t think they came out to bad. “Meat bomb need to do a few that side again” I also found a restaurant/coffee shop in PE called Friends, took a photo with what I thought of it.

On Tuesday had a bitter sweet day, had a great phone call from Natalie “owner of Clarens Brewery” was great speaking to her, if you ever find yourself in Clarens and you don’t have a pint of Clarens Blonde or a Red Stone cider you have not been to Clarens. Later however I got an SMS from Vanessa Knowles to say that Victor “her husband” had passed away after a short illness. Victor was a great guy one who I admired and who I always had time for. He will be missed by so many people not only in Clarens but all over the world as well. “Rest in peace Victor, thank you for your friendship”.

They want you to drink in PE a few beer specials at the moment are
Millers, a case for R90 00
Peroni, a 12 pack R54 00
Castle, a case R89.90

Went to KFC and asked them to change 8 pieces of bread for 8 pieces of boneless chicken, took a video of it, need to put on You Tube. Also complained that movies about how crap the sound and focus was when watching Invictus and the manageress was not there, but did actually call me back and was very apologetic and offered all the family tickets for a movie of their choice, must say Mamsie (the manager) handled it very well and was impressed by the way she thanked me for the complaint as it allowed her to solve problems (in fact scored a number of free tickets). This was different to when we went to Museum and the dude selling tickets could not advise if the shipwreck museum was there. He was not impressed when I asked him “surely if you work here you should know what goes on and that he better buck up his service before the world cup” The Museum was not bad, but was a bit worried at the way he dummies had been positioned in the shipwreck section, obviously the gent was worried it may be the last time he saw his or someone else’s wife J

Took a trip to Jefferys bay on Thursday to visit the Billabong factory shop, the place was packed with people buying end of range, marked or slightly damaged products, but baggies are still R350 a pair (in the shop across the road they are R650 –R800, bought mine at MR PRICE for R89.00 and look the same. Jefferys has grown though and now has a HUGE mall as you drive into the vill….sorry mini city, makes Clarens look like Roosendal in comparison. As you can see don’t like anything Nuclear.

Nicole, Doug and Amber left on Friday to go and visit Doug’s Brother in East London for the weekend before they head back to Gauteng for a few days and then back to the Island “that’s if they can find it under the 25m of snow that has fallen over Europe” Must say has been great having them here and especially seeing Amber, she is soooooo cute and is going to be missed in the Dunkley/Brewerton house holds. I don’t think we realised jut how much she meant to us until we saw and held her. Its different seeing someone grow up over the internet to actually being able to hold and touch them. Hopefully she will not be to old before she comes back to live in SA and will not have forgotten her cousins, aunts and uncles and her grandparents. I know Tania is going to be miserable for a few days after they leave and that she like all of us will miss Amber very very much. Hopefully when Amber does come back we will be able to understand her Pommie accent:-) would be nice to see her grow up a bit closer to home, but that is not always possible, due to whatever circumstances, but I still think that Doug, Nicole and Amber belong in SA and not on the Island so we look forward to the day they come HOME and make difference in this country.

Was wondering the other day what happened to the Pole dancer that used to live in Clarens, apparently she either moved to Gauteng or that melting pot of the performing arts Welkom, but I do not think that anyone knows, I heard a rumour that she had moved to Bangkok to get the rest of the wiener attached and that she/he/it was working in the Trannie bars waiting for the German and Lebanese sex tourists to do some “business”. Feel sorry for any man its managed to get its claws into wherever it lives.

Went to Donkin reserve on Friday and climbed the 85 steps to the top of the lighthouse, its not the amount of steps it’s the steepness, at one stage thought I needed a “Frikken” harness and rope. The view though was definitely worth the climb up with stunning views over the harbour, bay and city itself, next is the campanile clock tower at the harbour entrance with 204 steps.

Tania said to me a couple of days back “you know it’s hard to believe that its 10 years since the start of the millennium”. Remember 1999 and all the talk of Y2K (Year 2 Kak) at the stroke of midnight 1999 the world was going to fall apart anything with a microchip would cease working, planes would fall out of the sky and the end of civilization as we knew it would come to an end. Well it didn’t happen, I think tere were a number of the nut job survivalists that bunkered down for the chaos to erupt and emerged 6 months later with M16 in hand expecting scenes from mad max “Beyond the Thunderdome” but the world had moved on and they had spent the last 6 months living like moles gloating about what life must be like above them. On Friday night went to watch the movie 2012, its about the Mayan calendar that states on 21 December 2012 the end of the world will come, must say a pretty awesome movie, hopefully it does not happen , but hey even if it does not much you or I can really do about it, a good part of the movie is the fact at the end they say that Africa survived pretty well and that the Drakensburg in KZN would be the highest point in the world, if your looking for an entertaining movie then this one gets “two thumbs up”

Also the headlines the last couple of days have been about

1) How there will not be enough jobs available for matrics
2) That the matric results are a disgrace and something will be done about it

Seems to me that they re-hash the same headlines year after year, as there is always a shortage of jobs and the matric results have been going to crap since 1994 and the outcomes based curriculum did not help any matter either. Its rather simple , the teachers need to be committed, the government needs to spend money on schools, perhaps instead of driving fancy 1.2 million rand cars Ministers and MEC’s could decide “lets spend that money on education and we can drive normal cars” (yes I know it will never happen, but a nice thought). A discipline needs to be instilled in the kids of today as there is none, seems most kids expect the world to do them a favour. “get real” you need to play your part and get of your ass and learn.

As you can imagine I am a little upset that the “Poms” managed to hang on for a draw in Cape Town again, hopefully SA will be able to square the series next week at the Wanderers, “lets hope”

As promised in last Blog here is the first brief history lesson on PE “and there will be an exam :-)
Port Elizabeth is a city in South Africa, situated in the Eastern Cape Province. The city often shortened to PE and nicknamed "The Friendly City" or "The Windy City", stretches 16km along Algoa Bay, and is one of the major seaports in South Africa.
Algoa Bay was discovered by Bartholomew Diaz in 1488 whilst searching for a sea route to the East, and named it Bahia da Roca. The bay was later called by the Portuguese Bahia da Lagoa. By the middle of the 18th century the number of ships passing the ‘bay” had increased, with a number of shipwreck survivors being stranded on the beaches, there are a number of shipwrecks off the coastline. In 1754 the Dutch settlements at the Cape were extended eastwards as far as Algoa Bay.The convenience of reaching the Eastern district by boat was then recognized and advantage taken of the roadstead sheltered by Cape Recife. In 1799, during the first occupation of Cape Colony by the British, Colonel Vandeleur built a small fort on the hill west of the Baaken's River to guard the roadstead. It was named Fort Frederick in honour of the then duke of York, and is still preserved.

In April 1820, 4000 British immigrants arrived in the bay and settled in the Eastern district of the colony. They became the first permanent British residents in the country (you see even then they where leaving the island in droves). Under the supervision of Sir Rufane Donkin, acting governor of the Cape, a town was laid out at the base of the hills. The city got its name when, Sir Rufane Donkin, named the city after his late wife, Elizabeth. “An interesting point is that his wife never saw or set foot in Algoa bay as she died in India before she could get here”.
In 1836 it was made a free warehousing port, and in 1837 the capital of a small adjacent district. The prosperity of the port which was followed by the construction of railways to the interior earned for the port the designation of "the Liverpool of South Africa." The port is now in direct communication with all other parts of South Africa. Port Elizabeth forms part of the Nelson Mandela Bay Metropolitan Municipality, and serves as the seat for the surrounding Cacadu District Municipality. Port Elizabeth is a seat of the Eastern Cape High Court, as well as a Magistrate's Court. As a result of the presence of a High Court, several other related organs of state such as a Masters Office and a Director of Public Prosecutions are present in the city. A few other Government (mostly provincial) departments maintain branches or other offices in Port Elizabeth.

Quote for the week: “The world is like a mirror, if you face it smiling it will definitely smile right back”.

That’s about it for the week excpet to say that I am looking for this T shirt for Mark "The Meatbomb Horton"


The “EX” village idiot

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