Missing persons (well 1 daughter and 3 cats)

We left Clarens on 3 December 2009 with a fully loaded car , 3 cats and a daughter, between then and now we seem to have misplaced the daughter that left Clarens with us, as we seem to have inherited someone else’s daughter who just happens to reside in the house. Parenting is never easy even at the best of times, but when the “Teenager” arrives then things get decidedly more interesting. Apart from the normal body changes that occur in boys and girls at this age, the little girl who did not care about what she wore or her appearance has suddenly become a (Fashionista or Glamazon) and now have to give 15 minute, 10 minute, 5 minute (we are leaving now countdowns) before we can go out of the house. Being accepted into the “right crowd” and getting involved with as many social gatherings as possible has taken over from doing homework and heaven forbid you should as a parent make a comment about anything to do with a teenagers life…………”dad you don’t understand, is the normal response” I think it was Bill Cosby that said “I brought you into this world……..I can take you out”. But Gabby no matter how much the desire may be there to stick my foot up your Ass…………….. Remember that I Love you. Always have and always will and it make me really really happy to know that one day you will have kids giving you the same challenges (he he he )

When we lived in Clarens the three cats had a certain hierarchy that also seems to have taken a back seat since we moved to PE.

  • Snowball – the Boytjie that was gallivanting every night has now become a homebody
  • Pepper who was scared of her own shadow has decided that it’s a new house and with all being equal she will claim her part of the house and stand up for herself
  • Bitch cat who never left the garden has taken up fighting in her spare time and wandering the neighbourhood

Must be something in the water!!

I now actually know someone who has spent time in Jail, it’s my mate Kelvin, you know the guy that owns Friends in Clarens with the best chicken strips in the world? Here is the e-mail that I received informing me what was going on.

Oh, I don't know how much you know, but I'm gonna tell you the story anyhow.
Kelvin was arrested yesterday morning 01:00.They told him it was for attempted murder, but I'm sure it was only to scare him. That old bloke that always plays piano at a local restaurant, threw a glass at him and tried to punch Kelvin, so Kel (allegedly beat him up). Not the first time the old man tried shit like that. Any how, Full - size Bad Bernie (name has been changed to protect the innocent and not have another court case) convinced the old man to make a case against Kelvin. They got a court order on the 10th or 11th and just sat back and waited for the perfect time to get him. They wanted to get him on a Friday, coz that meant he had to stay in the cells the whole weekend. Gary and Randal tried to get the cops to let him out in their custody, but the POPO wouldn't budge. They said they couldn't let him out because he is a danger... Then why the F**K did they let him run free for a week and a half...He is going to court tomorrow... His bail will probably be R5000.00.........(Authors comments, But when you murder an innocent old lady, your bail is R500.00 so is it the crime or the colour of your skin that determines the bail amount? “Gotta love this country”)

An update on this is that they wanted to keep Kelvin in jail until his court date (30th March, as they say he is a menace to society…..( if that’s te case half of Clarens should be in jail) his family managed to persuade the magistrate to allow him to stay in Gauteng so he cannot run his business until then, I am sure a few of his friends will jump in and help in running it, payment will be chicken strips, all the Peroni and Brutal Fruits that can be drunk………….Kelvin you know I love ya (not in the biblical sense) and if I was in the village would have helped you with pleasure, keep the faith and know that we are thinking of you here in the (Baai)

At last a book that a “SEFRICAN” has brought out that does not espouse the joys of being an ex-prat (sorry mean ex-pat) a prat for those not in the know according to Encarta dictionary is 1) Fool: Somebody regarded as unintelligent. 2) Bottom: The buttocks

Why I'll Never Live in Oz Again: -or the UK, the US, Canada or New Zealand for That Matter

Author: Andrew Donaldson; Rick Crosier; Tim Richman; Josef Talotta; John Wardall

Dave Green has a new name I am going to call him the Grim reaper as he called me twice in two days to say that two people I knew in the village had died, both I believe from cancer Patrick Wilson and Pat Damant, both great people and will be sorely missed by their friends and families.

Cute photo of my Nephew Daniel riding his “bike” with (pisspot) helmet on , he wears it now because I had one on (Not a Barney one ……Bob the builder) when I took scooter to his house last week, he then went to bike and grabbed his helmet, look forward to teaching him to ride a real bike one day. Don’t worry Daniel I will persuade your mom. Also received this photo of Daniel and I at the cricket last week, really cool to watch him grow up and get to know him, he is such a character

Seems facebook has hit Soweto big time and have the photo to prove it. Just shows you that it’s important to give the disadvantaged access to the internet and same opportunities at their lesser tanned {Sefrican bretheren} so they can catch up with the 21st century you know what they say (You Snooze you lose)

How is the boy Julius Malema (what a Prat). How can we take the ANC seriously about corruption etc when they just allow a waste of skin like that (would not even turn him into a wetsuit) to flout the laws and say and do what he feels like ……God help us if that Bliksem becomes President. It’s amazing that those who had nothing only a few years back now have it all, and did not even have to work for it. I believe he is an Elvis fan with his favourite song being “LOVE ME TENDER” (get it??)

Has been hot in the hinterland (for those POMS reading this the hinterland is the insinuation land, directly translated) seems that farmers have found a way of keeping cool and braaing at the same time

Spent another week at VWSA in Uitenhage and was great, Keith the gent that gracefully allowed me to shadow for 10 days is just great and has been very helpful in showing me if i want to take this up as a career (and i do)

Here in PE we have been on water restrictions for a couple of months now and could be adjusted from 500l a day to 380 (per family). When the dams do eventually fill and the restrictions are lifted the lessons learnt to save water will stay with us.

There must be more Chinese restaurants in PE than Wongs in a Chinese phone book, seems every suburb has at least one.

This week had supper the beach, was a nice evening, made some Lekker sarmies grabbed a beer and watched the sunset over the sea………pretty awesome. Gabby decided to see if the plastic thingy we bought at Afriski to slide down the snow would work on the dunes……..it does.

Still no job as yet………Nothing more to say about that as it just gets me the moer in.

Heard about this on the radio and looked it up on the internet……just boggles the mind.

Cape Town - An 18-seater school bus was impounded and the driver arrested after it was spotted traveling through Mitchell's Plain packed with 102 children, Cape Town traffic services said on Friday.

Spokesperson Merle Lourens said the bus had a false license plate, its back brakes were not working, its safety windows had been replaced with Perspex and wooden benches were fitted inside for extra seats.” Officers found scholars aged between five and 13 years sitting on the floor and on each other's laps," she said. The 49-year-old driver was arrested and faces several charges, including driving without a license and a professional driving permit. The Western Cape government last year launched an intensive campaign to crack down on unsafe buses. (Previous record was 49)

(Scoot ring) my way to Keith’s for my lift to Uitenhage I noticed the headlines ……..thinking nothing of it as it was probably some non-swimmer who was fondling the girls in his class I was surprised to find out when I got home that the sex scandal school was in fact the very same one that Gabby attends. Seems the popular guidance councillor according to the girl picked he up from the movies last year and they had consensual sex (she was 16 at the time) ………having read the info I don’t believe it happened…….but if it did he has not raped the girl, it was consensual, but it’s a big error in judgement. I believe two things could have occurred to make this situation happen

1) The girl in question had advised the teacher she wanted to become a lap dancer or call girl and he as a dedicated Guidance teacher decided to show her what that meant.

2) He is dyslexic and confused the memo that said to take the class on a field trip……..he thought is said feel.

Sport this week has been plenty full not that I get to watch much as don’t have DSTV and have not found a pub that comes close to Friends where I can act like a hooligan without fear of being arrested or having the snot kicked out of me and as some of you know I am not exactly the quietest of supporters, so must say of all the things I miss about Clarens that has to be perhaps the one that I miss most……….Yes and you that live there as well.

Sports round up for the week :

  • The Proteas got there ass handed to them by the “Hindian fellas” on Wednesday and even our own “Hindian fella” could not score runs. Tendulkar scored nearly as much by himself (200 runs) India ended with 401 for 3 after 50 and I think we scored 229 all out.
  • The Sharks lost again (3 for 3)
  • The warriors pulling of a win in the first of two semi finals
  • EP Invitational played to a 27 all draw with an Argentinean team that had a number of internationals playing for them
  • The Stormers losing it in the death 19 – 17 to the Brumbies that the Bulls the week before had klapped
  • Lions lost
  • Cheetahs Lost 31-24
  • Bulls Won 48 to 38 but got a scare as the Waratahs hit them hard (Player 23 was probably very apprehensive)
  • Proteas on Saturday beat the Hindians by 90 runs. The Hindians were kind enough to leave Sachin Tendulkar out of the team to give SA a chance.

Quotes for the week

Money can't buy happiness, but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names
Help a man when he is in

trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again
Many people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them (I CAN THINK OF A FEW PEOPLE THAT THIS APPLIES TO)
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but neither does milk

Well that’s it for this week

Have a great week coming and be good


(The illage Vidiot)

Only 3 months before start of the World cup.

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