"The World according to Garp, arth, rth, th or h

Now I know why society at times runs assholes out of a village or tarred and feathered them, its usually the self appointed, can do no wrong, if it wasn’t for me this place would be a hole, self righteous pain in the ass that gets it, “I wonder if its still legal to tar and feather people”? “I suppose not” L, so if you cannot run them out or tar and feather them what options do you have, suggestions would be welcomed.

Great News, after immense and concerted efforts by a village ID 10 T to ensure that the pub for this years biggest event was not awarded to yours truly and Wolverine it would seem that it has, so we are very happy that we will be involved and that we will be able to contribute and be a part of its success as we have over the last 3 years, So this weeks two finger salute goes to him.

In Bethlehem there is a very old graveyard that has up to 150 British or colonial troops that died during the Second Boer war buried there, I have never been there before and it was an interesting hour spent looking through the names, regiments and the battles that they died in.

A cartoon in a local rag has caused a few to sit up as it equates exotic trees to a few locals in the village and asks the question who drinks the most, this is like the kettle calling the pot black as the person who would have arranged for the cartoon to be drawn is no slouch themselves when it comes to the drinking stakes, with the vehicle often parked outside watering holes in the village. The adage “those who live in glass houses should not throw stones” springs to mind

Ever read that book how to win friends and influence people? Well a local ID 10 T has re-written it and its now called “How to lose friends and alienate people”. All the chapters he has personally tried and from what I hear they work.

Andy our local bicycle repair man and bicycle “renter outer” has bought some awesome Harley bikes, they look great, they ride even better, Wolverine and I took them for a spin, we just wondered who was Peter Fonda and who was Dennis Hopper, “rebels without a clue” Andy sold 3 bikes this weekend as well (2 of them being the new bikes)

It may not have been the Ashes or IPL 20/20 but I think I can speak for Mark when I say we where so proud of our boys (and 1 girl) with their first ever-competitive cricket match on Friday. Annetjie the Headmistress invited the Fouriesburg School to a sports day and the kids competed in Football (Clarens won 4-1) Netball (four games were played and each school won two games). A competitive game of rugby was played for the first time in many a year and the two teams did well with Fouriesburg snaking in a 24 - 21 win. Fouriesburg also gamely put together a cricket team, a game that the kids don’t often play and put o a decent score of 37 runs for 9 wickets, the Clarens team scored 38 runs for no loss and therefore won the game. I must say it was an honour to have been involved and it’s so great to see a few locals volunteering to assist the school and the kids.

I do not like winter, I think the older we get the longer the season becomes, but here in Clarens we seem to have a longer winter than other parts of the country, however one good thing is that you can use you garage to keep your beers cold. It was so cold on Friday morning (-10) at the house that Tania washed an apron for gabby and after 5 minutes it was frozen stiff like a board. Our local pond also partially froze this week, something I cannot remember seeing before.

The Bokke, did good on Saturday and should have won the game with more points this due to our Coach playing a Ruan Pienaar in a position that Morne Steyn should be playing and allowing him to kick when he is not the recognised kicker. We nearly grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory again. Brussow is just awesome (yes I am bias as he comes from the OFS) but he takes every game in his stride and was not overawed or intimidated by Ritchie Mcaw. Well done boys, lets do it gain next weekend

The Rugby was packed (with some having to find space on the floor) with Friends fast becoming the place to be when rugby is on and is definitely a contender for the warmest pub in Clarens. Jeanelles dog Skyla has a hooded top to keep away the cold and as you can see is rather “cool” Skyla has been re-named “Count Dogula”, “Dog may the wors be with you vader”, “Dogzilla” and “Dogtor Chivago”

My Mom had her second eye op this month and while it did not go as well as the first one, we are confident that all will work out just fine.

Daniel my Nephew walked for the first time this week and my Niece Amber looks like she is crawling already at 3 months all this we saw on Facebook. Facebook is according to many great, I am not signed up, but get to see certain items that family send to the wife such as Daniel walking and Amber wanting to crawl. At least you can see, unlike the past what is happening with the family, although probably would be better if the family where nearer and you could see it for yourself.

I don’t expect many people to understand this, but I just have to get it off my chest “Enough of the Lions already”

The Old Stone Bottle store is now officially open, Lawrence and Sherry have made a great job and the place is looking awesome. Saturday was the Official opening day and on Tuesday there is a party for invited friends. I hope that the ID 10 T will be there as with myself, T and alcohol in the same room sparks may just fly J. Anyway I am sure that the bottle store will do great, and better than when the Pole Polisher tried to run it. Funny that Lawrence owns a bottle store and has a wife called Sherry and a dog called Brandy, “was it meant to be “???

Here is a great e-mail I received from Jeanelle (spelt correctly this time, Sorry Jeanelle and well done Sharks beating Bulls on FridayJ)

Dear Dr. Ruth, I am a crack dealer in Kempton Park, Gauteng. I was recently diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Hillbrow and one of my sisters, who lives in Benoni, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother were recently arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Brakpan. I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Leeukop Central Prison for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I recently got engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Yeoville. She is now a part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a "Blue Bull" supporter? Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
I leave you with these words of wisdom from a village resident Mr Rolf Schlub

“You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Adrian Rogers, 1931

Wolverine still has not come up with evidence that there is an excess of Crack in the village (some undercover photographer my sidekick has turned out to be) and the book is coming on however I still await information from 2 of my photographers.

Have a great week ahead “The Village idiot”

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