It used to be that Village idiots
had an influence of “if they were lucky” a few miles as time went by they
managed to increase their sphere of influence. In fact it’s rumored that a
Village idiot in Nottingham forest actually invented the “Fox machine” you tied
a message to a collar attached to the Fox and sent it to an address that the
Fox had no idea where it was, needless to say the original Fox machine was less
than successful. Now we are able to influence public opinion from vast distances……………………”Love
it “
Had to take an unexpected trip to
Umtata this week to do some training, so I hopped in the car on Thursday
afternoon for the 6 hour trip to Umtata. However just before East London I got
a call to say Umtata had no electricity so I would have to stay in EL at my
favourite guest house Tindale Lodge.
The upside is that I did not have
another 240 kms to do that day which meant a leisurely trip but the downside
was that I would have to leave “sparrow fart” on Friday morning to get to the
venue, “Dans country lodge” some 22kms yonder Umtata itself.
I did manage to take a few photo
of scenery of items that I often want to take off, but because I am always in a
hurry or the weather is kak, I don’t stop, the weather was great, the traffic
was light and better yet the road between Port Alfred and the Fish river was
almost pothole free, which makes a pleasant surprise.
The plan was to wake up early and
head for Dans, I woke up earlier than expected as it was so hot and humid in East
London on Thursday night that I was skinny dipping at 3.30 am, so by 4.15am I
was on the road. Trip was uneventful but hit Umtata at early morning “freak
show” where you feel like you’re part of a live play station game that puts the elements of Frogger, Need for speed
and the Walking dead together. Traffic
lights mean nothing, stop streets even less, lines on the road are merely to break up the
monotony of a black surface.
Got to venue, set up and I bump
into Jacob Zuma, yep “Mr Nkandla himself” seems he had some official
engagements in the area (open a school, kiss babies, shake hands) he and his
large security contingents that include a bomb squad member, drug and explosive
sniffing dog etc etc. was just sort of mulling around and he came round the
corner with a couple of security staff (he was on his way to breakfast after
his Dr had tested the food to ensure was safe)…………………paranoid? “me thinks so”
I think I may have taken the
security by surprise as I walked up to JZ stuck out my hand, said “good morning
Mr President, I hope that you have a good day” , he shook my hand and said
“Steve you and I really need to get together to talk about how I can clean up
my act and do better as President”…………. OK he said “Thank you same to you” . I then immediately
stepped back and checked my pants to ensure my wallet and cell phone were still
there……………..Just joking I didn’t have my wallet .
Training was meant to start at
8.30, but I had not been told that in that part of the world that they have
turned back their clocks by a day, so I started at 9.30 with only half of the
delegates (the rest could quite possible be stuck in the traffic in Umtata).
Training went well and I then had to drive back to EL.
 |
| Reg number says MAL (Mad) 6 - very apt |
Well, all I can say is that if
you put an American, Aussie or Pommie traffic Cop in Umtata/Butterworth/Idutwa for
a day they would probably commit suicide before their shift is over. I am sure
no I am positive) that 80% of those that drive in the former Transkei do not
have drivers licence’s and if they do then they bought them. Once you cross the
Kei River all rules of the road go out of the window and while going to the
venue had been interesting going back to El on a Friday afternoon was an
“Experience”
Friday afternoon traffic in that
part of the world is like Charge of the light brigade meets fast and furious
1-6, traffic is hectic and it does not help that when you get to Umtata half of
the traffic lights don’t work, but then again when they do work the drivers don’t
look at what colour is showing. Then from Idutwa there was thick mist which at
stages was like driving with a blindfold on due to the fact that many people
either don’t have lights or hazards or have “super hero powers” of being able
to see through mist add to that anything with legs attempting to outdo each
other by running across the road (very much like a live version of Frogger) the
mist lasted until 50km past Butterworth. And it took me 45 minutes to get through Butterworth
due to traffic volumes and total lack of regard for traffic rules.
One guy forced his way past me
and then not 5 meters past me pulled over to drop of a passenger, another came
flying past me a after sitting on my tail for a number of kms and then after
they had almost killed themselves, me and 43 schoolchildren playing a game of
football on the side of the road then proceeded to drive at 45 kms, until I could
get past him. Needless to say my middle
finger was given frequent exercise and my voice was hoarse from voicing my opinion
regards people’s heritage and brain capacity. ………………………..Drove back to PE on SAT am , left at 4.30 am and saw an awesome African sunrise.
Seems that Michael Schumacher who
was placed in a medical coma, will in fact not come out of it, Medical experts
looking after him say that he will be in a coma all of his life, so I suppose
the question is do they unplug him or not. What’s your opinion?
I start with my first SAMTRAC
course of the year tomorrow, so I am hoping to start off well with a 100% pass
rate and a couple of distinctions from the class.
Have a great week
Ciao
SPAD
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