Insane in the Membrane..........................WTF does that mean I hear you say while scratching your head or other parts of the anatomy, haven’t got a Frikken clue but it sounds good so i decided to use it for the heading of this Blog.

Could be that I was thinking about the Fucktards at Zamdela township in the Free state (near Sasolburg)that are burning and looting to show the ANC that they don’t want to be incorporated into another municipality, want proper toilets and want jobs............. “WE DEMAND”.................”F&^k u all”, You can’t Demand anything you need to work hard , study for a job, and if you had a education or even half a Frikken Brain than you would realize that destroying shit left right and center and acting like a troop of baboons is not contributing to the future of this country. “Shoot the F%*kers don’t pussyfoot around. Starting to get sick of this shit, it harms SA and my well being.  This is what one of the F^%kwits had to say about the chaos. 

“This is must tell the country this is war which will not end today or will not end until we get what we ask for .......our human rights and dignity” WTF is dignified about looting and rampaging and killing of people calmly walking out of shops with trolley’s packed with looted items, with smiles on your faces and casually walking home with not a care in the world, shows that your nothing but CRIMINALS there was no banners saying we are unhappy with the government, no chanting anti government slogans, no dancing or singing that usually accompanies a protest march just rows of what looked like Saturday morning shoppers, “you’re common thieves”. You have to remember that you cannot withdraw anything from the bank if you have not deposited anything in it, nothing is for free, get off your arse's and do something other than breakdown and destroy.   

Reading a book by Bill Bryson called Australia, very good, like his writing style and as always he gives new insight into subject matter that you had not  even considered, with Saturday being Australia Day here is a quick piece of information regards the country. Australia is the world’s 6th largest country and its largest island, it is the only island that is also a continent and the only continent that is a country. it was the first continent conquered from the sea, and the last. it is the only nation that began as a prison.................... “You want more, Oh Ok here is some more info about the wildlife”. Australia has more things that can kill you then anywhere else. of the world’s top 10 most poisonous snakes , all are Australian. 5 of its creatures - the funnel-web spider, box jellyfish, blue ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stone-fish - are the most lethal of their types in the world. so if you’re not stung or pronged to death you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles.

The  Protea's also did not cover themselves in Glory on Tuesday managing to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory, needing to score 281 they started well losing only one wicket  with 180 runs on the board and then managed to be all out still needing 27 runs with a  over left. 5 run outs (WE now share another world record for run outs, although Morkel could have made it 6) So the Black caps take the 1 day series . On Friday we played the last 1 day International in Potchefstroom and needing 3 runs off the last ball, after again being in a comfortable position and letting it slip, the crowd as well as myself and many more Sefrricans sat with hands on heads just hoping that we could run at least 2 runs to draw the match when Ryan McClaren decided that he was going to go “BIG” and pulled off a ballsy shot that ended up clearing the ropes for 6. So the series was lost 2 -1, but its not all doom and gloom the majority of the players in this series are youngsters and getting blooded for future games.   
After a tame 0/0 draw against the Cape Verde island team on Saturday  Bafana Bafana followed this up with a2/0 win against Angola and now the whole country, who before the 2/0 victory where saying how KAK they are, now think we are going to win the AFCON cup, “yes we are very fickle supporters”. Anyway it was a good victory and tonight (Sunday 27/1/2013) we play Morocco  who were held to a 1/1/ draw by the Cape Verde islands. If we win or draw tonight we are through to the last 8 and then its 1 game at a time.     

We (Tania, Gabby Steve and I) went to race day at Scribante on Yesterday (Saturday 26/1/2013), we were joined by Rudi, Jacki and Rob and while the racing was not F1 or SBK style racing, we had fun. It was hot and we all got a tad sunburnt. What is nice about the track is that you can park your car right next to the track, unload the book, set up a braai and “kuier” (that’s relax and chat for my 1 European reader). I decided to take the gas braai and skottel and getting towards lunchtime Tania asked me ‘Where is the pole”? I thought she was asking about the umbrella stand and duly pointed to where it was lying..........”No the pole for the braai” she said, “Ummmmmm I mumbled” as I realized that i had not packed it, but straight on the defensive I asked, “didn’t you check”.................... didn't work, anyway to cut a long story short people next to us kindly lent us their Cobb Braai and we managed to cook some meat. Afterwards we all went to Barney’s at the beachfront for a couple of beers before heading our merry way home.    
15000 Crocodiles (yes that’s plenty of belts, bags and shoes) managed to escape from a crocodile farm in the Limpopo after heavy rains and flooding affected the area this week, so far about 7500 have been recaptured, 1 on a football field about 100kms from we’re it escaped. I for one think having lots of Crocs in the Limpopo river will ensure we don’t have people from Zimbabwe swimming across into SA. A spokesmen said that “The Limpopo used to have a few Crocodiles, now it has LOTS”     \

Mark “Meatbomb” Horton got married yesterday. I presume in Clarens, “why presume”? Well I didn’t crack an invite, seems the Village Idiot was “Persona Non Grata” That’s Latin for, “We didn’t want him there”. A couple of locals had asked me if I was coming up for the wedding, knowing how close and I Mark had been and were very surprised that I hadn’t even been invited. Oh well I am sure there was a reason.........................Tania, Gabby and I wish Mark and his new Bride Shelly a long and happy life together.

Quote from the Czech Republic Daily National Newspaper Editorial. "Danger to South Africa".

“The danger to South Africa is not just Jacob Zuma but a citizenry that is capable of entrusting a man like Zuma with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Zuma Presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgement to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man as its President.  The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr Zuma, who is  a mere symptom of what ails South Africa. Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Jacob Zuma, who is after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their President.” If the Czechs can see this why can’t we?

This part has been adapted from a blog by Chucky, “My South Africa” and I enjoy it so give him a go.   Seems the ANC have their undies in a twist over a FNB advert ‘you can help” screening at the moment, it’s the one of a 17 year old black girl giving a speech where she talks about how basically as SA children they have been let down (has subsequently been taken off TV). FNB have a knack of pissing of the government of the day, in 1987 the NP also had a fanny flap over a FNB logo. FNB had changed their logo to protect their parent company Barclays bank of the UK being associated with the racist South African government (there words not mine). To be fair FNB were also very outspoken against the NP policies and the need for change.

If I remember correctly someone in the NP (was probably as high as the proverbial kite or had just consumed 1kg of Tik) managed to see either a Rabbit or an AK47 in the logo and that the rabbit or the AK47 represented the still Banned ANC. Perhaps it was the same rabbit that was accused of starting the Marikana massacre??
 Now some 26 years later the ANC have taken offence (well t least like Mrs Balls chutney, FNB are consistent) at the advert that I described earlier, believing that its aimed at them and their lack of commitment to SA , its people, especially the children. Well “if the shoe fits”…………………………. Anyway the FNB have caved in to ANC pressure and apologized for the adverts at Luthuli house nogal. Yeah seems that FNB want the business…….”Cowards”       
The department of Educashuun has come up with a new Matric exam for 2013 that they hope will assist those students that have not actually bothered to study or would rather do anything else other than study. 
QUESTION 1:Philemon has an AK47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 30 rounds. If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attempt before having to reload?
 QUESTION 2:Phineas has a 12-seater minibus. To avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85 kg, and piles another 35 kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/h and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be?
a)    300 m
b)    600 m
c)     10 m, as there is another passenger to pick up.

QUESTION3:Jacob is employed as a gardener for 1 day a week in 3 Households. Assuming that he can make a lawnmower last for 3 months, how many lawnmowers will the households have to purchase over a period of 2 years?

 QUESTION 4: In standard 6, Jackson has made 4 girls in his class pregnant and another 6 from other classes. How many girls will he have made pregnant before he leaves school if he
Matriculates on his 28th birthday?

 QUESTION 5:Samuel and his friends, altogether 6 of them, can each drink 35 bottles per day of Black Label before falling over.  How many SAB trucks do they need to hijack per year to remain permanently pissed? 

Well that’s about it for this week, have a great Monday and week ahead.


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