All's quiet on the Western Front

Been a bit if a quiet week, been hiding from the Jihad brigade after slagging them off over the last 2 Blogs. So what’s been happening in the “Were not the Tourism village, Village of the year”?

I was told “but have not seen myself” that in the October issue of the Top Billing Magazine Clarens is one of only 4 destinations that are recommended by this Prestigious magazine and the only one in the FREE STATE to come and spend time exploring, “it’s a pity Top Billing were not judges for the Tourism village of the year, we may have had a small outside chance of winning it, just out of interest 2 of the other 3 mentioned are Stellenbosch, Plett. Yes I know what your thinking “What no Marquard”, however I am sure that next year they will feature strongly together with other tourism destinations of note such as Marble Hall, Hot as Hell, De Wetsdorp and my personal favourite Jamestown.

I believe that one of the Criteria that we were not strong on the competition and perhaps lost because of, was having the name of the village in white stones on the side of a hill or mountain, this local Werner Brandt (Werner owns the Millery bakery and is doing alterations, adding a bar, gallery as well as a coffee roastery) remedied, and we are now the proud owner of a stone Clarens “whitewashed of course” that I believe will put us ahead of other villages in next years competition and should see Clarens re-claim her Tourism village title from Marquard.
We have applied for a bond for house in PE and it seems that the lady who is buying our house has advised that her bond has been approved:-)

Was doing some research for my book on Clarens in Kgubestwana and came across what I have been searching for, for ages, a S.W.S. (Shack with Satellite)

Had a braai with my mate Greg, was going to be a Wors Roll affair, but Greg decided to bring a small fillet to throw on the coals, (see picture), I would hate to think of what this would cost in the good old UK, I think it was 1.5 kg’s in weight. Had my photo in the Vrystaat again this week, for being the winner of the over 120 year old Mountain bike challenge. Wolverine and I managed to get in a lying down photo this week. Thinking of entering the Captain Morgan extreme pose of competition as well there is a trip to Las Vegas for 4 people as a prize, now that would be nice.

Seems national Braai day has stirred the entrepreneur in a few people as at a local convenience store you can now buy pap and wors as well as dop and a chop all at the same time.
Ducati was in town this weekend with approx 30 bikes, had a couple of locals wanting to join in the festivities and even challenged a Ducati or two to a dice down a mine shaft with a tailwind, for some reason the challenge was declined. I think it may just have been the jacket (see photo and decide for yourself). The Protea Hotel was the base for the group with Vitos and Friends also being party places and from what I hear Friends Rocked until the early hours of the morning. Next weekend is Mini Cooper 50th anniversarry celebrations and the weekend after that is October fest at Bokpoort, can you imagine how much busier we would be if we were the "tourism Village of the Year"? Rugby this weekend turned out to be ok, all the results I wanted happened, “now only if I could transfer that skill to the Lotto or Powerball”. Best game for me was the Lions/Province game and the crowd that watched it at friends was pretty awesome, “Martin was the only WP supporter there and it cost him a round of shooters”

Received this from my friend Al, thought it was pretty good. Drafting Guys over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old
To track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the
military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of
sending 18-year old's off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-old's think
about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of
times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to
concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and
a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us
kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel
better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before10
a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides,
like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I
may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would
be a real stretch.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as
an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing
basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of
energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty
girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head..

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home
to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of
million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who
know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women over 50 .....with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing
else, put them on border patrol.....we will have it secured the first

Reading two books at the moment

1) Strike back by Chris Ryan – its about a Sky TV reporter held hostage by Hezbollah terrorists and she is to be executed live on TV unless British troops are withdrawn from Iraq, “its heart in mouth action and bone crunching action” according to The Mirror and Amazon. It was not a bad read, and if you want something to read over a couple of days as it’s a easy read then this is the book.
2) Towards the far Horizon by Jose Burman and it’s the story of the ox wagon in South Africa, yeah I know what your thinking “must be boring” well that’s what I thought when I picked it up at the local library, but its actually a fascinating book and for people like me who like to learn more about history, I recommend it as a book you should read.

Another e-mail that I got was this one (also pretty good)

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of . . 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: HIJACK AN AIRLINER and win A COUNCIL HOUSE !

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at ££180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging, burgling and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain..... Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience . . . Just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help - for FREE! It won't cost you a penny. And . . . It could change your life forever. So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...the list is endless EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN COME ON DOWN ! Get along to the airport ! Get along to the lorry park ! Get along to the ferry terminal ! Don't stop in Germany or France ! All European countries will willingly speed you on your way! Come straight to Britain And you are: **** GUARANTEED **** to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'

Quote for the week: “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going”

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