you can choose your friends but not your family

(* This Blog comes with a warning, its very long and possibly very boring, so grab a cup of coffee and a rusk relax and enjoy:- )

Not trying to tonk my own horn, but I received an e-mail from my sister that said the following.

Hi Boet.

Keep meaning to tell you that it was great watching you on Top Billing. So proud of you. My only claim to fame is my brother who has won the Weakest Link and appeared on Top Billing as the “local historian”. . I thank God everyday for the family I have. We may not see each other or talk a lot, but knowing that we will be there for each other when needed is a good feeling. As in life, it’s not always about quantity, but about quality.

The reason I put this in is because many people do not get on with their families, the Dunkley/Brewerton/Esterhuizen/Mather clans however seem to be different in that we care for and love each other. Family is important and should be cherished through the good and the bad times, I am grateful to have parents that love me and support me “always have, always will” So if by any chance you are having a stupid argument with a family member, call them up and sort out the problem, its worth it.

Last Friday we had the judges from Volksblad, SUT, FNB, Price Waterhouse Coopers and AHI in Clarens to see if we are worthy of becoming the “Tourism village of the year” Well the obvious answer would be yes we are worthy, however the competition is not just about who is at present the best village for tourism, its also trying to encourage other dorps and villages to improve their tourism slice of the pie. This I can understand, but if you are looking for Tourism then Clarens is a winner. Other villages that are now trying o get involved in Tourism are were Clarens was 10 years ago, we did not wake up one morning to find the village as it is, it took many years hard work with a number of people contributing to its success. I believe that the other villages/dorps in the top 4 (Marquad, Ladybrand and Excelsior) should be given recognition for their efforts but not the title ‘Tourism Village of the year” that would be a slap in the face of all those who have worked so hard. In fact it would be a farce if any other town won the title other than Clarens, “we deserve it”. As is the norm a number of residents came to the fore with ensuring that the visit was a success, those being Victor and Vanessa Knowles, Andy, Garth, Simon, Lee-Anne, Pieter, Rene, Kobus and Attie, Celia, Lindy, Astle, Michael, Donve. Thanks ladies and gents for all the effort and trouble.

Had to drive to PE on Sunday at look at houses for our move there at years end and the difference between the roads in the OFS and The Eastern Cape are remarkable, I love the Free State “well the Eastern Free State to be exact” and I am ashamed to say the roads in this part of the world are crap and the roadside stops for someone wanting to stop for a sandwich or stretch the legs are even worse. The road between Ladybrand and Aliwal North has so many pot holes that it looks lie a meteor shower targeted the area. It’s about 250 kms of “pray your car tyres don’t burst”, how people can even contemplate driving on that road at night or even when raining is beyond me, I would not even consider riding it at high speed on a bike, as that would be looking for trouble, to make it worse some genius has filled in some holes with red dirt and compacted it, this when it rains is going to wash away so fast, so why bother. As soon as you cross the bridge across the Orange river into Aliwal North there is a marked improvement of the roads , in fact I did not see a pot hole in the roads from there to PE, (nearly 500kms of back roads) so obviously “Mr Pothole Slagate” is not their minister of roads, the roadside stops are neat , tidy and with no rubbish lying around, how is it that the Eastern Cape (supposedly one of the poorest provinces) can do this and The OFS cannot, it’s a disgrace and I for one will be taking this issue further. Was nice seeing family sadly had to take the Triumph down this trip, seems that my nephew Daniel likes it and I nearly came home with a “ Du Cat e “

Have you ever noticed how men and women approach a road trip, with guys its trough a few things together in a bag, start the car and of we go, with women it’s a tad different, just getting out of the house into the car could test the patience of Jobe, but it’s the need to go to the bathroom just before you lock the front door that I find amusing, this usually takes a few minutes (especially if you have a wife and a daughter) The trip itself is then a challenge of finding toilets that are clean enough to use, and believe me there are not many between Clarens and PE that can be used in fact when your wife tells you to look for a bush at the side of the road them you know the pickings are slim. This makes me think that instead of spending all the time and effort in trying to stop people smoking, perhaps a little of that money and time could be used to legislate how a public toilet should look and what cleanliness standards should be met, (even big garage chains have disgusting ablution facilities, the one I found a hobo sleeping under the sinks (no he wasn’t the cleaner “I asked him”).

You are not allowed to blow second hand smoke in the direction of children but they can sit on a toilet seat that has probably got more germs on it that Hillbrow has Nigerians. Men just want to drive to get to their destination and if you need the toilet you can just stop and do the business where you need to and putting in petrol entails just that, not a shopping spree at the quick shop or a leisurely lunch that takes an hour or more. A perusal around the magazine racks to buy magazines so that you don’t get bored in the car is next, I never knew that my wife read farmers weekly. Then just before you arrive at your destination there is a whole extreme makeover situation going on, brushing of hair, deodorant on, etc etc. I had better stop now or I will have to assume the position, with the position being bowing my head and waiting for it to be slapped, its no wonder I am going bald !!

National Braai/Heritage day was on Thursday and we had a number of people in Clarens meet on the square to celebrate being South African and to Braai, something that I suppose all those “we love South Africa, but not enough to live there brigade” did as well, espousing how much they love SA and are only in the UK, Australia or New Zealand because they cannot find jobs otherwise we would be in that country. Well let me tell you ladies and gents as far as I am concerned that you can only be a true Sef African if you live here and contribute to the economy, you cannot be a long distance patriot. We came up with a new name for Jacob Zuma’s Presidential Plane “If Barrack can have Air Force 1” then Jacob can have “Air Wors 1”. We had a Jol, braaied some vleis and enjoyed each others company and told SA jokes like “YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN”

Ø You call a bathing suit a 'swimming costume'.
Ø You call a traffic light a 'robot'.
Ø You call an elevator a 'lift'
Ø You call a hood a 'bonnet'
Ø You call a trunk a 'boot'
Ø You call a pickup truck a 'bakkie'
Ø You call a Barbeque a 'Braai'
Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.
Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
Ø You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
· You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
Ø When you are a victim of crime and say: 'At least I'm still alive'.
Ø You know a taxi can move twice it's certified number of people in one trip.
Ø You travel 100's of kilometres to see snow.
Ø You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee
Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
Ø 'Now now' or 'just now' can mean anything from a minute to a month.
Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.
Ø You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes.
Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
· You paint your car's registration on the roof.
· You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
Ø You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
Ø Prisoners go on strike.
Ø You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
Ø Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
Ø The South African Army is the only Army in the world with a Union AND ARE ALLOWED TO GO ON A STRIKE

I saw a headline in a newspaper last week that went “Police bracing themselves for Race riots this Winter”. Seem the Poms and the Muslims are not getting on all that well theses days and are going to be beating the crap out of each other to get each others points across, nothing like a little head bashing to heal rifts. I find it amusing that the Poms will accept just about anyone into the country and then allow them to dictate to the government and its peoples. They are just so politically correct and scared to hurt someone’s feelings, where is that nation that beat Hitler that at one time ruled most the known world? I was also appalled that they let the Lockerbie bomber go, that bastard should have been hung drawn and quartered or sat on a chair and had a bomb go off underneath it, but no because we want to be seen as magnanimous we let him go to end his life with his family, why? Did those who died at Lockerbie get the chance to see out their lives peacefully with their families. Now I see the British government want to send British Policemen to train the Libyan Police, even though 25 years ago a female police officer was shot outside the Libyan embassy and the killer has never been found, it’s a slap in the face to the British people. Give the UK another few years and it will be a Muslim State, with the Taliban as the majority party in the House of Commons.

If Christians go to a Muslim country and want to spread the word of Christianity or god forbid build a church, that’s not allowed and in fact people can be jailed or killed just wanting to practice their religion but when they come to other parts of the world they shout religious intolerance if you don’t allow them to put a mosque on each corner and cause KAK. My response would be if you want to be Muslim, build mosques, blow shit up to get into heaven to meet the virgins you have been promised, then do it in your own crappy country, because most of the Muslim countries are S—t holes, look at Afghanistan, who in their right mind would want to live there, it’s a hovel and instead of sending in troops to get killed by extremists they should just use it as a missile testing site.

How are you with DIY for me that acronym strands for “Destroy it Yourself” I am quite possibly the worst person in the world when it comes to fixing up items or building a book case from 4 planks and a handful of nails, at school we had “shop” and whether it was working with wood, metal or any other substance my project always ended up as an “ashtray” I just don’t seem to have the patience for DIY.

Patrick Swayze the actor died recently and is now doing a remake of Ghost.

Had an e-mail the other day from a friend that is looking for a Chopper bicycle ,I used to have one when I was a kid (if memory serves me correct it was an orange one) and in fact did myself a nasty injury on more than one occasion while riding it, but for the time it was a “Cool” bike

So the Protea’s choked yet again in the opening game against Sri lanka “we should call them pansies”, I have actually got to the point now that when I watch them I expect them to lose and if they win its an unexpected surprise, but who is the genius that decided that we go into a major tournament with 3 months of no games, only practise and fitness regimes? I may not be the recognised coach of any National or International team, but even the Village Idiot (and Wolverine concurs) that you need to play games to get the team playing as a cohesive unit. Methinks that Steyn is going to eat his words that SA will win and there is no one that can beat them (or words to that effect). But perhaps I speak to soon and they will win the tournament. I just think we should get the Boks to play cricket as well, then perhaps we will win some tournaments. At least they played ok against New Zealand so there is still hope, they are busy playing the Poms at the moment, who gave Sri Lanka a beating, so who knows what will happen, it’s a must win game so lets hope tomorrow we can still be in the tournament.

Was reading a book called “Absolutely useless lists” by Philip Ardaghs and here are few fun facts that you may enjoy

1) There is a town called Santa Claus in Southern Indiana USA
2) James bonds favourite food is scrambled egg
3) The Name rhinoceros comes from the Latin via ancient Greek rhin = nose, and keras = horn
4) Julias Ceaser was born with 3 nipples
5) The Tibetans have no word for shoe

Some of you may know I belong to the Goromonzi Farmboys International Motorcycle club and my nickname is Gromit, here are 3 facts about the Wallace and Gromit films

· Four films so far are: A grand day out, The wrong trouser, A close shave, The curse of the were-rabbit
· Nick Parks claims that Wallace id based on his dad and Gromit on himself
· Each film is about 25 minutes long and uses stop frame animation, using around 35 000 frames for each film

I see the National crime figures came out this week and it would seem the criminals are winning, with 20 of the 29 categories showing an increase, “not a decrease” . A local radio station suggested that you will have to have dogs so “Woes” that when you get home you will have to shoot 2 just to get in the front door. Tania asked the question what are the demographics of those affected by the 29 categories of crime, that would be interesting.

Seems the Yanks heard that there is an imminent attack about to happen on their properties in SA, so they closed down for a few days, I think they just wanted to make this week a really LONG weekend, sometimes I wonder how the yanks actually got the tag “Superpower” because they can be such babies. We don’t have violent Camel jockeys in SA, we leave that to England, who have British born Muslims fighting against British soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, now how is that for gratitude? I bet when the “wanabee” Bin Ladens comes back after a year in the desert they apply for the dole, get a free council houses and probably a 52 inch flat screen Plasma T.V, while the soldiers get Squat. As far as I am concerned that’s treason and the bastards should be put against a wall and shot of hung in public. Someone from the UK was telling me that an old lady living in a road with the Bin Ladens was nearly arrested because she had a collection of ceramic pigs in her lounge and it offended the suicide bombers so much that they complained to the police and she had to remove them so as not to offend the very same people that at the blink of an eye will walk into a school packed with kids and blow the place up, because it’s what the Koran has told them. I had better keep quite now otherwise Abdul and his mates may fly a microlite into my patio while I am braaing.

To close don’t know if you have seen the Libyan leader Gaddafi on TV this week, he is in the US, he looks like a cartoon character.

I had a good chuckle at the name of the union leader for the textile workers its “believe it or not”, Fachmee Abrahams J

Currie cup action this Saturday saw the Cheetahs against the Boks “oh sorry meant the Blue Bulls” and despite the overwhelming odds on favour of the Bulls running away with it the Cheetahs played well and did us proud.

We have a local micro brewery in Clarens and its run and owned by two awesome people, Stefan and Natalie Meyer, they recently won a few awards at the Wort Hog Brewers summer beer festival 2009 and the Village Idiot as well as Wolverine often pop in for a beer or cider (that is the best in the country) Well done guys we are very proud of you and the fact that Clarens can boast its own brewery.

Quote for the week: ‘May the Wors be with you”

Well that’s about it for now form the politically correct Village Idiot


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