"Crisis, what Crisis" ??

Last Thursday a few friends and myself played a football match, that to be honest had muscles aching that I never knew I had. My wife Tania said to me the next day that she could see i as getting older as in the past I would have chased every thing around the field and tried to score all the goals. I was a bit taken aback as I still like to think of myself as a 18 year old with wrinkles, I then realised she was right and this then got me to thinking (which sometimes can be a dangerous thing) that I was not getting any younger and was fast approaching 50, I then got to think about that dreaded term MIDLIFE- CRISIS and while I don’t think I have had mine yet it could still come as some people can have later on life and it has been known that some people can have them at a younger age than what you or I probably expect. I decided to look research the subject and here is what I came up with.

The term MIDLIFE CRISIS was coined in 1965 by a one Elliot Jacques and is used to describe a period of dramatic self doubt that is felt by some individuals in the “middle years” of life as a result of sensing the loss of youth and the immanence of old age

So what are the characteristics of a midlife crisis?

· Need to spend more time alone or with certain peers
· Deep sense of loss for goals not accomplished
· Desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
· Search of unidentified dreams or goals

So how do you know if yourself or someone you know is having a midlife crisis? Well you or they could exhibit some of this behaviour

· Abuse of Alcohol (well if thats a criteria then half of Clarens is having a midlife –crisis)
· Buying of unusual or expensive items (like the older guy buying a sports car or hummer or even a large motorcycle)
· Depression, mood changes and unusual selfishness (yes we all do get like that but when your nastier than normal on a regular basis then you have to watch out)
· Paying special attention to ones physical appearance (older folks highlighting hair, guys putting in earrings and wearing pony tails or “buying a rug as they say in the classics”, getting tattoos, piercing’s or brandings, I suppose women Botox lips, get Liposuction or have Butt and Boob jobs. Wearing ‘hip” clothing or trying to dress like the young crowd.
· Entering relationships with younger people, this could mean “relationships” or just hanging with the “homies” and talking the lingo
· Try to pick up younger girls or guys WAY younger than oneself, “I said hello to a lovely young lady last week and she replied “Oom dit gaan goed dankie” PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST “can you here the ego deflating”??

The question to ask is how long does a midlife crisis last and can it be treated, well according to the article I read no one knows how long and NO, but common sense has to tell you that you have to grow up sometime and while you can have younger friends and mates as many of us do you know that you also have responsibilities and that you need to act like an adult.

Now please excuse me as I need to get braids, a tattoo, pierce my nipple, buy a new wardrobe “you know the fashion were your underwear is your outerwear or the Kelvin Klein logo of your undies can be read under your arms as your Guess jeans are hanging around the ankles and of course the cap on sideways”, pick up my 9500cc manhood enhancing Hummer and Jol with the lighties and “piepie jollers” till my eardrums burst or I wet in my pants (whichever comes first)

It was my Wife Tania’s Birthday this week, so Happy Birthday again I love you lots. Tania as many of you may know has set up a craft business (www.craftystuff.co.za) and over the last few months has worked really hard to get it up and running. This week Tania got her first big order and I am sure it will be the first of many; well done Tania I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Proud of you and look forward to the day that Crafty stuff becomes a Multi Billion Rand company. Tania, Gabby, Mark, Kathleen and I had dinner at Ocean Basket in Bethlehem, it was nice and managed to watch but not listen to “moi” on Top Billing, yes I know sometimes I can be so pretentious. Oh we did manage to see a “prawn on a Steeeeeeeek at ocean basket, but don’t think it was real, seemed a bit “fishy: to me

Many of you may know that by years end I will no longer be a Village idiot but a Concrete Jungle Jester as the family are moving to PE (Port Elizabeth). I was asked the other day do I want to leave and to be honest the answer is NO “I don’t want to leave” However if the question had been do you think you need to leave my answer would be yes, “why you ask” well there are many reason, but perhaps the most important is that while the village has been great for Gabby to grow up in as a child, I don’t think it’s the right environment for her as a teenager, as I believe that many youngsters in the village (and this is a generalization) get themselves into a rut and don’t have anything to look forward to other than work, drink, and skinder, sadly this also applies to single older people as well “who should know better and while we all should be able to have fun, life is also about responsibilities and looking towards the future . I believe that Clarens is great and I Love the village to bits but there is a big wide world out there and it needs to be explored.

I am looking forward to spending time with Ryan (he is my brother in law, but more like my brother) and look forward to watching rugby etc with him, Ryan does not drink, but apart from that he is a great guy and someone that I admire as he has also gone through hard times, persevered and come out on top. What or who will I miss about Clarens (well this Blog is not long enough at the moment) But I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt I will miss My Good Mate Wolverine as well as a number of other locals, but Wolverine and I have become good friends over the months and will definitely miss that. But let me finish there before I start crying……………….J.

A new Tourism Forum was elected for the village on Monday at the Protea Hotel, a good turnout from the village saw the election of the following persons: Simon Kerr as Chairman, Pieter Kruger as secretary and Victor Knowles as Pr/Marketing. Lets hope that these people can lead the Village forward and that all role players will get involved and work together to make Clarens the number one destination in SA.

Wolverine has a thing about catching drug abusers and told me that he had taken photos of a vehicle that proved without doubt that the owner of said vehicle dabbled in the selling of mountain cabbage. It took me a while and a few Peroni’s to get through to him “he is a special child” that POTSELA was in fact an African name and not a job description.

Thursday we has the first rainstorm of the season, it was so nice to see precipitation-taking place.

I don’t know if you saw all the hoo haa about a South African trying to get refugee status in Canada and basically talking a load of bull about the country and its peoples, well on Friday Percy Mokoena from the Clarens Mountain estate decided that he was going to have a braai and a beer for myself and a couple of his staff. What a great couple of hours, we sat behind the storage shed with Mount Horeb on our left and the village on the right, the willow trees are in fool bloom on the estate as are the many peach trees, we lit a fire (safely of course) and then just sat, chilled and shot the breeze, you know what it was perhaps one of the best afternoons I have ever had, we talked about history, love and religion as well as how we feel the country is doing and where its going to. If you are a paler skinned South African reading this do yourself a favour and communicate with your staff or locals around you and you will see that they have dreams and ambitions just like you and me. “Thank you Percy for showing me again that SA is a great place and if we work together towards the same goal we can only get stronger and get to know each other better”.

So the Boks beat NZ and are the Tri Nations champs, winning 5 out of 6 games is good, would have been better though if it had been a clean sweep, I missed Saturdays game as in Bloemfontein as I did the Cheetahs game who I see came back from behind and beat WP (also great) and the Sharks beat the Bull.

There is a new site http://www.lyingdowngame.net/ and you should check it out and send your own photos, there are no photos from Africa as yet, so you could be the first, you can see Wolverine and my attempts.

Next Friday is Kelvin’s Birthday “who is Kelvin you may ask” well he is the owner of Friends (Clarens Rugby supporters club base) and “keeper of the Chicken strips”. I am sure “nay positive” there will be a HUGE bash at friends and that a multitude of people will be there to celebrate Kelvin reaching the ripe old age of 20 (I think I have a sweatshirt older than that). If Kelvin is lucky we may just let him get to 21 J

Talking about parties on Saturday Tania and I attended our first 3 Sum party at Andre and Annetjies house, “must say it was a bit different from what I was expecting”. First all the people were clothed, second there were kids running around everywhere and thirdly if I had of read the invitation properly I would have seen the 3 Sum was to

1) Celebrate Andres 50th Birthday
2) Have a house warming party
3) Celebrate the imminent arrival of another grandchild

Caster Semanye is in the news again; apparently she does not have a womb and has internal testes (and no Wolverine that does not mean taking an exam indoors). This is according to the Aussie papers who had inside info from the lab that does the testing, so whether or not we can believe them is another thing, but lets say they are right, I can just imagine the press conference: “So Caster news reports say you don’t have a womb”.. ‘That’s not true I have two rooms in my house a living room and a bedroom”. “Ok but they also say you have testes”. “How do you think I passed matric????………………”Sorry what do you mean? …………….” well I had to have testes and pass them to get my matric!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Do yourself a favour and get the you magazine with Caster on the front cover “not even an extreme makeover can hide the fact that there should be doubt. But I have a solution, Caster should just enter the special Olympics and where they can run the men’s and the women’s 800 meters “at the same time” will save both time and money.

Our friends Kathleen and Mark have decided that they ant to change their status to single and that they will become housemates and share the house that they rent at the moment, while we are sad about them splitting up, we respect there decision and will still be seeing them both regularly. I am sure there will be the usual K-K stories doing the round in the village, but that’s par for the course.

A couple of Blog’s back I told you about the carpet bomb drink, well eventually Wolverine got me the photo that I needed to show you, no that’s not me in the photo its my evil twin “Super Bok”

The recession has started to hit home in Clarens with even the very young having to sacrifice for mom and dad to make ends meet, Aden “or peanut as we like to call him” has traded in his Sandton type Jeep designed pram for something more practicable and can be used for a number of purposes.

Also we have found photographic evidence that a club “Wys jou Muis” does in fact exist and that they sell T shirts, we hope the ex bottle store owner is in fact happy there “amongst her own”

Book on Clarens is all but done, just needs to be edited and then I need to choose the photos I want, “anyone want to sponsor the printing of the book” ?????

I have a solution to the problems in Africa “feed the homeless to the hungry”!!!!!!

Well on that note its time to say “Adios Amigos”

The Village Idiot

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...