When pigs can fly

Is it just me or are there others out there that think this whole Swine Flu is perhaps just a bit over the top? Approx 50 000 people die every year from the common flu, but as far as I know its not a pandemic, I think it’s just a ploy by the pharmaceutical companies to increase revenue, what better than to create a panic amongst the paranoid westerners and Yanks and sell bazillions of tablets to ensure that they do not succumb to Swine Flu. I believe that England has ordered 32 million masks for people who live there, “Kaching Kaching” go the cash registers of the pharmaceutical companies. I bet the Muslim communities are up in arms as this Swine Flu according to them must be the deliberate attempt by the USA to get the faithful sick. I see a Jihad on the way, pig farmers better watch out for suicide bombers.

I was also told recently that a gent in the states said that the USA will have a black president when pigs fly and not 100 days later there is Swine Flu “yes its weak, that’s what I thought as well when I first heard it”

Got photos of Amber, she is cute. (As you can see by the photos)
Photo 1: “So who is this Obi 1 dude”?
Photo 2: “What do you mean wind my neck in, it’s as far as it will go”
Photo 3: mom and dad with the new toy (“don’t bother looking it does not have batteries”)

Do you do chores around the house? “I do my chores are to sweep, do the dishes, make the bed and empty the dustbin” Not a lot I may hear some of you say, well that may be true, but sometimes I think we have another family living with us and they only come out at night. It does not mater if you wash the dishes, sweep and empty the bin before you go to bed, the next morning the sink is full, the dust bunnies have had a rave and the dustbin is full.

The village has really been busy the last month with the shop owners and restaurants have large smiles on their faces, all except the bottle store on the square, that has been closed the last 3 weeks, the reason why you ask? Well this is Clarens and it depends who you speak to, but the 4 main theories are (and believe me there are many others)

1) Could not run a business properly
2) The Business was sold for a great deal of money
3) Did not pay her creditors and was being sued
4) Is an evil money-grubbing “person” (I replaced the original word with person as the one used was not very polite) but it rhymes with sore.

I have to say that to not make money from a bottle store that is situated in the middle of any village with a constant stream of visitors is like going bankrupt running a funeral parlour; you really have to be a bad businessperson to make it fail.

The village had a group arrive called Floor 13 and this ensemble have been in the village for a week, spreading the word and trying to tell kids that there is more to life than sex, drugs and rock and roll. They usually charge a huge amount, but have seen fit to come to Clarens Gratis. Martie and Annetjie have been very instrumental in getting them here. I must say tat I do not believe that that have experienced Clarens at its best, the local municipal manager in his wisdom would not allow them to use the Martie Lotz hall free, “even though they are doing community work”, the Police chased them of the square for playing foot ball “nice one guys” real great community spirit and when the group were performing at a local school, we had villagers going and complaining about the noise “get a life”

Mothers day is today Sunday 10th, for some like Nicole its her first, So Happy Mothers day Nici, may Amber give you so much joy over the years. Moms are very very important in a child’s life and I know that I am lucky to have 2 moms Marion, “my mom” and Loi “Tania’s mom” In fact I am going to go as far as to say that all the kids in this family are very fortunate to have great moms.

Marion Dunkley: Mom thanks for always being there for us, you have showed me that even in bad times family stick together and you know that for choosing your family over alcohol you will always be my HERO. I love you, as do Tania and Gabby.

Loi Brewerton: We may not have had a great beginning, but I know how much you love your children and I also know how protective I am going to be when Gabby starts dating some “long haired, Heavy metal listening, motorcycle riding, dude J. You have always been there for your family as well and we are very fortunate in this day and age to have family like we do.

Tania Dunkley: Tania, well my Angel what can I say, at one stage never thought we would have children and we have Gabby, you are the best mom a girl could ever want.

Karen Esterhuizen: Sis you have been an awesome mom to Christine and an example to many people, you could have gone the easy route but through your hard work and determination not only have you made a success of your life, Christine has become a fine young lady

Kirsten Brewerton: I think if u look in the dictionary under mom, there will be a picture of you. I don’t think I have ever given you the credit that you deserve for being Ryan’s wife and I just want to apologise if I have ever made you feel that you are not part of the family.

Nicole Brewerton: Your first mothers day, “awesome isn’t it”, just remember that you have big shoes to fill, but we have no doubt that you will be a mom that Amber will always be able to look up to (as do your nieces and nephew already) and we are very very proud of you, even though we hate the fact that you live in the land of the rising damp.

So Christine, Gabby, Rebecca, Michaela, Daniel and Amber you are all very lucky as not only do you have great moms yourselves you also have other role models in the family that you can look up to and call upon should you need.

The 2nd edition of the Mountain Post came out two days ago and is even better than the first one, puts the other local paper to shame, what’s nice about the Mountain Post is that it is aimed towards the tourist and has good news stories, unlike the other one that only prints negative stories and personal opinions. I mean how can you put in an article on the front page that you wanted to “slap a slut”? How is that supposed to attract tourists and make them feel that Clarens is not full of Hillbillies?

So Comrade Zuma had a giant party this Saturday, must say I am a tad disappointed that Comrade Zuma “supposedly being a man of the people” would agree to spend R75 000 000 on his inauguration when the country has far more pressing needs, as they say ‘the more things change, the more they stay the same” Lets hope Comrade Zuma does not become another typical African Leader and makes us all proud.

Before I leave you another question has surfaced in the village,” Who is princess Fiona” and who is trying so very hard to be her Shrek”?

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