New Years Revolution

So with Egypt in a spin  again and protesters being shot by the very people that revolted for in the first place(go figure) and many other countries citizens up in arms over lack of civil rights or ?? in the economy one has to wonder how long it will take for a country in Southern Africa to follow suit? Sort of reminds me of that Mel Brooks movie were one of the courtiers tells King Louie the 16th “Sire the peasants are revolting” and he replies “Yes they can be cant they” (or something to that effect)

Here is the list for late 2010/2011   

So have you made a resolution for 2012  I made one just before midnight, I decided that I would not go into a toilet otherwise I may only get out next know what?................ It worked. Perhaps Sinhead O’Connor (a singer from the 80’s) should make a resolution to stay married to 1 person longer than 16 days.

Dublin - Irish singer Sinead O'Connor has ended her fourth marriage after just 16 days, blaming pressure and disapproval from the family and friends of her new husband Barry Herridge. O'Connor, 46, said on her blog that the marriage went wrong three hours after the December 8 ceremony in Las Vegas and that the pair had lived together for only seven days before splitting on Christmas Eve. "Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed (ruined) by the behaviour of certain people in my husband's life. And also by a bit of a wild ride I took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don't drink [sic]," the controversial singer wrote.

This got me to thinking (yeah had to sit down for a while after) about short marriages, so I Googled up the following.

·         If you are talking about actual records - it stands from Sept 11th, 1976. A man and woman were declared husband and wife and then he dropped dead of a heart attack.
·         A Polish couple in Hannover, Germany who recently created their own personal divorce rate of 100%. The deed was accomplished in less than 24 hours. Actually, more like three hours. In what could possibly be one of  the shortest marriages in the record books, the couple had their marriage annulled just a few hours after tying the knot. Following a brief civil ceremony in the German town, the 50-year-old groom apparently decided to cut his new 34-year-old bride’s hair with a kitchen knife. She objected vehemently of course, and an irreconcilable screaming match ensued. Police responded and separated the pair, permanently. Both agreed to an immediate annulment and the short night of nuptial celebration ended in separate lodgings with a restraining order served on the husband. The quick turnaround from marriage to divorce probably saved the couple a lot of time and money in future court costs and property settlement negotiations had they prolonged their union, but they do enjoy the dubious distinction of having one of the briefest marriages in history.

·         The honour for quickest celebrity wedding has to go to Rudolph Valentino & Jean Acker who Wed and split November 1919.The jury's still out on just how short famed lover Rudolph Valentino's marriage. After just six hours, the bride locked Valentino out of the honeymoon suite! He soon gave up and headed home. However, they didn't finalize a divorce until 1922.

·         Less Than 24 Hours - Zsa Zsa Gabor and Felipe DeAlba
wed April 13, 1983 annulled April 14, 1983Zsa Zsa has been married an astounding nine times, many of them brief. But by far the shortest was this marriage. They got married on a ship with the captain officiating, but some teensy weensy technical details like the fact that they weren't in international waters, and she wasn't yet divorced from her seventh husband (WTF) meant that a judge annulled the marriage the next day.

·       Britney “you can do me one more time” Spears who was married once prior to her much-publicized and ill-fated hook-up with Kevin Federlein. Britney and Louisiana childhood friend Jason Alexander enjoyed a two days of marriage back in 2004 until the singer’s lawyers moved to annul the marriage due to Britney’s “lack of understanding of her actions.” Total elapsed time? About 55 hours.

·         8 days Dennis Hopper (of easy ruder fame) and Michelle Phillips, wed  October 1970, split November 1970 

So what were the top celebrity weddings of 2011,  the three that I can think of would be the wedding of Prince Willam and Gold digger Kate whatever. Then perhaps Graham “cant captain a cricket team” Smith and some Irish bint and then old man Ranier from Monaco and the South African Swimmer (wonder how long they will last........any guesses?)
Xmas day Lunch was very nice, Ryan and family came over  to our place as well as Keith. Spoke to the family in Gauteng in the morning and the family in the UK where busy so did not hear from them till the 27th. The weather was not so lekker, alternating between overcast and sunny, warm and cool, dry and wet but hey you have to maar get on with what you have, so we made the best of it. Must say Tania made some awesome Turkey and Gammon for cold meats and was nice to just chill for the day. So another Christmas has come and gone, only “plenty” days left to Christmas. I have now had 48 Christmases and each one seems to be getting here faster than the last one.    

The 26 was for the most was a very nice day so as one does in PE when the sun is shining and there is no wind, you go to the beach. Sard’s was busy, so we just sat at the top of the Dunes and enjoyed the sun and the view. Later the weather turned and it rained with high winds.

I forgot that last week, the 22 was the longest day and shortest night so it’s all downhill from there, we will wake up in May and go “Oh shit its winter” as it will be dark on way to work and get dark early. Those living in the Northern hemisphere were going  “o yeah, o yeah”  as the days will start to get longer..............I cannot imagine how depressing it must be for people (especially those that have moved to the UK from Southern hemisphere countries) to see the sun occasionally over winter time, I mean you go to work in the dark (sun rises at 9am) and you come home in the dark (sets at 3pm), its cold and miserable. When the sun is out it’s like a CF 15 watt globe, in that it gives some light but does not do the job as well as it should. 

Did some shopping on Tuesday 27th – forgot that our benevolent leader JZ had made it a public holiday as well so it was pretty hectic out there even with a number of stores being closed. Bought myself a new book “My friend the Mercenary” and a pair of jeans, was looking for cargo pant shorts as well but nothing I saw was nice.  ..............I am not a fan of buying clothes especially when its busy and I can never ever seem to find anything on the sales racks that I a) like b) will fit.

Whenever there is a big sale, it’s always the small and XXXXL that are on the racks so there is  never anything to buy unless your anorexic or the size of a hippo. The styles  and colours of some of the clothing leaves a lot to be desired and to be honest I am a tad old fashioned when it comes to colours and styles of clothing I don’t really want to wear  anything with the waist around my knees and my underpants sticking out of the top. So the question I would like to ask those buyers of clothing for the big department stores why do you buy so many Small and XXXXXXXXXXXL items when all that you’re going to do is at the end of season put them on rack stick SALE signs up and watch the normal sized, non colour blind people patiently look through them.....................”Sick bastards”

Had a Blonde go off in the kitchen cupboard this week.................”Put that dirty mind away, it’s not what you think” A bottle of Clarens B;onde beer that somehow found its way in the dark recesses of the grocery cupboard exploded. Oh  before I forget Gabby got a Belly Ring this week (with our permission) and it looks cute. Takes up to a year to heal properly, so let’s see what happens.
Thursday was an awesome day and after picking up Ricky in BWB (Blue Water Bay) we put up basketball net, I mowed the lawn (weedeated actually) and then spent a couple of hours at SARDS basking in the sun, snowboarding and snorkelling.
Can’t believe that I have been on leave for 17 days already (means only 8 days left of doing squat...............mmmmm better make the most of  it), seems just like yesterday that it was my last day of work for the year.
Got a call from a really good friend and my ex-Boss, Dave Green, had a long chat about what’s happening in Clarens. Must say really miss Dave’s sense of humour, we used to talk shit while sitting outside Clarens Properties waiting for potential clients. 
I have seen, heard and listened to many stoopid stories this year but this has to take the cake, it’s definitely a Darwin Award.
Johannesburg - Two teenage boys were killed when a car drove over them on the Vereeniging road near Potchefstroom on Thursday, North West police said. "The two were allegedly hit by a speeding motor vehicle while sleeping on the road about 20km outside Potchefstroom," Lieutenant Colonel Lesego Metsi said. The two, aged 16 and 17, and two other friends decided to sleep on the road in the hope that motorists would offer them a lift.
They were hitch-hiking from Potchefstroom to Boipatong in the Vaal area. A black or charcoal VW Jetta with unknown registration plates, travelling towards Vereeniging, drove over them, killing two instantly, around 03:00. The other two were unhurt. The driver apparently only stopped to pick up his licence plate before fleeing the scene. The names of deceased were being withheld until their families had been informed. (Now is it me or are the rules of the road the following...........Cars use roads and pedestrians don’t sleep in the middle of them, well at least that’s what the rules were when I got my driver’s licence or did they change them and not send me the memo?)   
Friday morning took Gabby to the riding school and then did a little sand boarding at Sards. Later that day went to Barney’s  with Tania, Gabby and Ricky at the beachfront and had a couple of Charles Glasses, took a walk on Shark Pier and saw a stingray as well as a sand shark swimming amongst the bathers. Had a walk around the boardwalk and went to see the temporary ice rink they have set up and charge R50 00 for 30 minutes a serious rip off. Can’t  believe that  parents would fork out that type of dosh. 
New Years eve  I took a short yet "fast" bike ride to Seaview a mere 20kms from the house ,we then met up with Ryan and dad at Sards and what we thought might be a coldish and overcast evening turned out to be awesome, we sandboarded, swam, body surfed..............some awesome waves and generally had a lekker time, only left the beach after 8pm, went home then watched Adele at the Royal Albert Hall (she is one awesome singer) and then we went to the Beachfront (Tania, Gabby, Amy, Stephen and I) to watch the fireworks display, which was awesome 20 minutes of non stop light and noise. Again it was an awesome evening, warm, no wind and just lekker. Took us an hour to get home as it was so busy.  Came home watched a movie and went to bed.    
Well this is the first Blog for 2012 and let’s hope that this year is not as shitty as last year (we can always live in hope) Oh by the way last week I said I wanted the Blog hits to be at 12000 well its now at 12000 + so thanks to all you poor sods who have read through the KAK this year. Hopefully next year I can top that. Don’t think that over 1000 hits a month is too bad.  
Happy New Year to all of you, May 2012 be everything that you all wish for and deserve. No new year’s Resolution for me except I will predict that the Dunkley/Brewerton/Mather clans may get a new cousin/Nephew/Niece...................Just a feeling.

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