Springboks vs the Jones's

I bet a few of you thought no Diaries of a village idiot this week.....no such luck ladies and gents. The Retard is back

Seems that a few people in Clarens think I am a retard, “do I care? Not really”...........Why you ask, well I believe (as the poster says) everyone knows a retard or two in fact I am sure if I asked me mates (of which I have many in Clarens, many more than those calling me a retard in fact) we could name a number of people in Clarens that we as well as a number of other people would consider retards and besides I have been insulted by better “slow down” people than those that live in Deliverance part 2, always said that all Clarens really needed was a banjo player sitting on the Welcome to Clarens wall. I would have done it but can’t play the banjo. I am so happy to be out of the politics in Clarens having to be careful what you say and to who you say it because you will piss someone off along the way, a talent it seems that I am very good at. So let’s see what I can write about this week to upset someone in the “drinking village with a sense of humour problem”

The word retard by the way is a North American term, that deliberately insults someone with a learning disability or someone regarded as unintelligent, in the Queens English which I “spokes” it means I am a hold back, slow down, delay or a hinder. Used Thesaurus for the info)……..Retard is pronounced Reeeeeeeeeeeeee tard and not Ra tard (like Allen in the Hangover)

Well news from Clarens is that Steelwings went well, first year in a number of years that I have not run the pub which despite what I hear that some bitter and twisted residents of Clarens have said (I together with Meatbomb with assistance from Natalie Kathleen, Jeanelle, Liza, Lawrence and Sherri ) really did a good job. It would seem Meatbomb has carried on this tradition. I am sure there will be those in the village that will not agree, “but hey jealousy gets you nowhere”

Just in case anyone is/are/was wondering I do copy/paste articles that are sent to me or I see on news 24 that I think will interest people onto the Blog, I do not believe that I have ever tried to lead anyone to believe that those words where in fact my own, but so as not to confuse anyone in the future, I from now on will advise if I in fact have copy pasted any information.

So with without further ado or much about nothing or gelding your lily lets get on with the Blog (sorry just trying to sound litery, skollarly, intellingunt, cleffer laaik) yeah know its not working as I am no letter mechanic.

Boks pulled another one out of the fire this weekend with a 29 – 25 win against a spirited Welsh and Walsh performance (Steve Walsh was the New Zealand Ref). I thought I was watching a re- run of Zulu with all the Jones’s, William and even a Hook on the team. However despite the refs assistance the Bok’s held to make it 2 out of 2. Must say the first try by debutant North was definitely obstruction and if it had of been a Bok player it would have been blown as such and I want to see North’s second try again from an angle where we can see where he was when the ball was kicked ahead, because I do think he was a tad offside, no ways he could not have been ahead of the ball when it was kicked. Must say Chilliboy nearly cost us the game, with his 2 throw ins at the lineout, As far as I am concerned he should not be on tour never mind the bench. Next week is the Scots and hopefully the Boks start getting all the aspects of their game together before the England game because with them beating 35 – 18 this weekend they will fancy themselves against the Boks and of all the teams i don’t want them to lose against the Poms, they are still going on about the try that wasn’t in the 2007 final. Wales will fancy themselves against the All blacks after good games against both the Aussies and the Boks but here is a trivia question. (When was the last time that the Welsh did in fact beat the All blacks? The answer is Rorkes Drift.)

Here is another question for you, what’s the difference between a tub of yoghurt and Australia? Eventually you will get some culture in the yoghurt

The GP F1 champion was decided this Sunday with Vettel becoming the second German and youngest to win the Championship, Alonso a mere 4 points behind and if his pitting strategy had of been better then perhaps he would have won his 3rd World championship. However that was not meant to be and Vettel perhaps the most consistent this season won his first title, his team Red Bull also won the constructors title (this they achieved last week at the Brazilian GP). So the top 5 were.

1) Vettel
2) Alonso
3) Webber
4) Hamilton
5) Button

Very happy that Hamilton or Button did not win again, this will probably upset a few pseudo Poms that I know.

Probably going to sell the Triumph, there is a black guy down the road that wants to buy it has offered me a good price. Seen a nice BMW in local dealer that I may consider buying if he does buy the Triumph or may buy another scooter.

I see that upset students in London went on the rampage attacking the Conservative party HQ as well as set fires near houses of parliament and clashing with the police who with their intensive training probably said “now listen, don’t be a naughty child” apparently the fees for colleges varsity etc are being tripled, about time they paid for something over there, no wonder the country is actually bankrupt. And to think there are people from SA that still aspire to be Poms. What’s a Pom you may ask, well here is a CUT AND PASTE piece of info from GOOGLE that explains what a POM is and there are a number of interesting theories, here are a few AS CUT AND PASTED FROM THE ARTICLE THAT I FOUND BY USING GOOGLE. (please also be advised that spelling mistakes, tenses, punctuation or lack thereof are from the article writers themselves, and this Blog word mechanic or would be word mechanic cannot be held responsible)

1) There are a wealth of inventive and equally unsubstantiated stories of the origin of the word pom (you will no doubt get lots of answers about 'prisoner of her majesty' etc) but the only really likely answer I have ever come across was that it's an abbreviation of pomegranate, referring to the colour that the pasty Englishmen turned in the antipodean sun when they spilled out of the ships for the first time.
2) It's an abbreviation of Prisoners Of Her Majesty. The first Englanders in Australia were convicts.
3) Prisoners of Millbank. A prison in London used as a holding tank before the people were transported.
4) It actually originates from the hundred years war, when the French called the British "pommes" (as in pommes de terre) because they were always eating potatos.
5) Growing up in Australia, I surmised that POM stood for Poor on Manners, because they were always winging (that's pronounced with a soft "g", Fred) meaning that they were always complaining about how awful Australia was and how wonderful good old England was superior in every way. Other immigrants were grateful for a new life except the Brits!

Well that’s about it from this Retard this week other than to say “I don’t know who told him but Hee Hee”


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