INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

Insane in the Membrane..........................WTF does that mean I hear you say while scratching your head or other parts of the anatomy, haven’t got a Frikken clue but it sounds good so i decided to use it for the heading of this Blog.

Could be that I was thinking about the Fucktards at Zamdela township in the Free state (near Sasolburg)that are burning and looting to show the ANC that they don’t want to be incorporated into another municipality, want proper toilets and want jobs............. “WE DEMAND”.................”F&^k u all”, You can’t Demand anything you need to work hard , study for a job, and if you had a education or even half a Frikken Brain than you would realize that destroying shit left right and center and acting like a troop of baboons is not contributing to the future of this country. “Shoot the F%*kers don’t pussyfoot around. Starting to get sick of this shit, it harms SA and my well being.  This is what one of the F^%kwits had to say about the chaos. 

“This is war...you must tell the country this is war which will not end today or tomorrow...it will not end until we get what we ask for .......our human rights and dignity” WTF is dignified about looting and rampaging and killing people....photos of people calmly walking out of shops with trolley’s packed with looted items, with smiles on your faces and casually walking home with not a care in the world, shows that your nothing but CRIMINALS there was no banners saying we are unhappy with the government, no chanting anti government slogans, no dancing or singing that usually accompanies a protest march just rows of what looked like Saturday morning shoppers, “you’re common thieves”. You have to remember that you cannot withdraw anything from the bank if you have not deposited anything in it, nothing is for free, get off your arse's and do something other than breakdown and destroy.   

Reading a book by Bill Bryson called Australia, very good, like his writing style and as always he gives new insight into subject matter that you had not  even considered, with Saturday being Australia Day here is a quick piece of information regards the country. Australia is the world’s 6th largest country and its largest island, it is the only island that is also a continent and the only continent that is a country. it was the first continent conquered from the sea, and the last. it is the only nation that began as a prison.................... “You want more, Oh Ok here is some more info about the wildlife”. Australia has more things that can kill you then anywhere else. of the world’s top 10 most poisonous snakes , all are Australian. 5 of its creatures - the funnel-web spider, box jellyfish, blue ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stone-fish - are the most lethal of their types in the world. so if you’re not stung or pronged to death you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles.

The  Protea's also did not cover themselves in Glory on Tuesday managing to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory, needing to score 281 they started well losing only one wicket  with 180 runs on the board and then managed to be all out still needing 27 runs with a  over left. 5 run outs (WE now share another world record for run outs, although Morkel could have made it 6) So the Black caps take the 1 day series . On Friday we played the last 1 day International in Potchefstroom and needing 3 runs off the last ball, after again being in a comfortable position and letting it slip, the crowd as well as myself and many more Sefrricans sat with hands on heads just hoping that we could run at least 2 runs to draw the match when Ryan McClaren decided that he was going to go “BIG” and pulled off a ballsy shot that ended up clearing the ropes for 6. So the series was lost 2 -1, but its not all doom and gloom the majority of the players in this series are youngsters and getting blooded for future games.   

  

After a tame 0/0 draw against the Cape Verde island team on Saturday  Bafana Bafana followed this up with a2/0 win against Angola and now the whole country, who before the 2/0 victory where saying how KAK they are, now think we are going to win the AFCON cup, “yes we are very fickle supporters”. Anyway it was a good victory and tonight (Sunday 27/1/2013) we play Morocco  who were held to a 1/1/ draw by the Cape Verde islands. If we win or draw tonight we are through to the last 8 and then its 1 game at a time.     

We (Tania, Gabby Steve and I) went to race day at Scribante on Yesterday (Saturday 26/1/2013), we were joined by Rudi, Jacki and Rob and while the racing was not F1 or SBK style racing, we had fun. It was hot and we all got a tad sunburnt. What is nice about the track is that you can park your car right next to the track, unload the book, set up a braai and “kuier” (that’s relax and chat for my 1 European reader). I decided to take the gas braai and skottel and getting towards lunchtime Tania asked me ‘Where is the pole”? I thought she was asking about the umbrella stand and duly pointed to where it was lying..........”No the pole for the braai” she said, “Ummmmmm I mumbled” as I realized that i had not packed it, but straight on the defensive I asked, “didn’t you check”.................... didn't work, anyway to cut a long story short people next to us kindly lent us their Cobb Braai and we managed to cook some meat. Afterwards we all went to Barney’s at the beachfront for a couple of beers before heading our merry way home.    

    

15000 Crocodiles (yes that’s plenty of belts, bags and shoes) managed to escape from a crocodile farm in the Limpopo after heavy rains and flooding affected the area this week, so far about 7500 have been recaptured, 1 on a football field about 100kms from we’re it escaped. I for one think having lots of Crocs in the Limpopo river will ensure we don’t have people from Zimbabwe swimming across into SA. A spokesmen said that “The Limpopo used to have a few Crocodiles, now it has LOTS”     \

Mark “Meatbomb” Horton got married yesterday. I presume in Clarens, “why presume”? Well I didn’t crack an invite, seems the Village Idiot was “Persona Non Grata” That’s Latin for, “We didn’t want him there”. A couple of locals had asked me if I was coming up for the wedding, knowing how close and I Mark had been and were very surprised that I hadn’t even been invited. Oh well I am sure there was a reason.........................Tania, Gabby and I wish Mark and his new Bride Shelly a long and happy life together.

       

Quote from the Czech Republic Daily National Newspaper Editorial. "Danger to South Africa".

“The danger to South Africa is not just Jacob Zuma but a citizenry that is capable of entrusting a man like Zuma with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Zuma Presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgement to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man as its President.  The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr Zuma, who is  a mere symptom of what ails South Africa. Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Jacob Zuma, who is after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their President.” If the Czechs can see this why can’t we?

This part has been adapted from a blog by Chucky, “My South Africa” and I enjoy it so give him a go.   Seems the ANC have their undies in a twist over a FNB advert ‘you can help” screening at the moment, it’s the one of a 17 year old black girl giving a speech where she talks about how basically as SA children they have been let down (has subsequently been taken off TV). FNB have a knack of pissing of the government of the day, in 1987 the NP also had a fanny flap over a FNB logo. FNB had changed their logo to protect their parent company Barclays bank of the UK being associated with the racist South African government (there words not mine). To be fair FNB were also very outspoken against the NP policies and the need for change.

If I remember correctly someone in the NP (was probably as high as the proverbial kite or had just consumed 1kg of Tik) managed to see either a Rabbit or an AK47 in the logo and that the rabbit or the AK47 represented the still Banned ANC. Perhaps it was the same rabbit that was accused of starting the Marikana massacre??

Now some 26 years later the ANC have taken offence (well t least like Mrs Balls chutney, FNB are consistent) at the advert that I described earlier, believing that its aimed at them and their lack of commitment to SA , its people, especially the children. Well “if the shoe fits”…………………………. Anyway the FNB have caved in to ANC pressure and apologized for the adverts at Luthuli house nogal. Yeah seems that FNB want the business…….”Cowards”        The department of Educashuun has come up with a new Matric exam for 2013 that they hope will assist those students that have not actually bothered to study or would rather do anything else other than study.  QUESTION 1:Philemon has an AK47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 30 rounds. If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attempt before having to reload?  QUESTION 2:Phineas has a 12-seater minibus. To avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85 kg, and piles another 35 kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/h and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be? a)    300 m b)    600 m c)     10 m, as there is another passenger to pick up. QUESTION3:Jacob is employed as a gardener for 1 day a week in 3 Households. Assuming that he can make a lawnmower last for 3 months, how many lawnmowers will the households have to purchase over a period of 2 years?  QUESTION 4: In standard 6, Jackson has made 4 girls in his class pregnant and another 6 from other classes. How many girls will he have made pregnant before he leaves school if he Matriculates on his 28th birthday?  QUESTION 5:Samuel and his friends, altogether 6 of them, can each drink 35 bottles per day of Black Label before falling over.  How many SAB trucks do they need to hijack per year to remain permanently pissed?

Well that’s about it for this week, have a great Monday and week ahead. Ciao SPAD

4 out of 3 people struggle with maths

Not a great week for London with a helicopter hitting a crane in central London on Wednesday and plummeted to the ground like a stone killing the pilot and  another person on the ground. The next day a train fire in the tube had the lines being shut down on the Victoria/Gatwick line, causing huge delays.............................

A couple of blogs back i told you about a KAK restaurant in J bay called "Hey Jude", service especially sucked, well last week we had breakfast at Moffat on Main Wimpy, hell what a awesome surprise, the waitress was friendly and efficient we ordered drinks and within 3 mins we had the drinks at the table, the food hot and tasty arrived soon thereafter, was a pleasure to eat there and i told the manager so. When service is shit complain, but when its good compliment.  

Conducted first training course of the year this week, SHE Representatives, probably was best way to get into it as not a high level course but one that can make a huge difference in the Health and Safety of a company, as its the SHE REPS that are seen as the front line persons that assist the employer in keeping their asses out of jail. Group was really lekker and I enjoyed the training.

At St Albans prison about 30kms from PE 2 gangs decided to relieve the boredom of jail by starting a prison riot, by the time the Cops and prison staff managed to get the situation under control 2 had been stabbed to death and 65 injured, 12 critically of which one subsequently died. To be honest don’t have any sympathy for those murderers and rapists.   

In 2009 I wrote this in a blog entitled “Winter has arrived”......  South Africa on cusp of greatness? Maybe I am being over optimistic, but I believe that South Africa is standing on the threshold of something great.................. I am usually the biggest pessimist but I have this feeling in my gut that Jacob Zuma is going to turn things around and with the help of us winging whites and other naysayers we can do it, so let’s give old President Zuma a chance.

Well its now 4 years later and if i am honest i am not happy that he will win a 2^nd term, under his leadership the country has taken a few steps backward and i am hoping that he will get off his ass and get the country moving in the right direction.

AFCON cup started yesterday (Saturday 19 January 2013) with Bafana playing against  the Cape Verde Islands in the opening game. We have a few games here in PE and wanted to go watch Ghana play DRC tonight. Went to buy tickets and told sorry the game is full, I was shocked and stunned and I actually can’t believe it, so I will be watching closely on TV to see if it is in fact full and if not there will be hell to pay. You’re not going to believe this, but apparently Zuma was quoted in a newspaper saying that the Africa Cup of Nations (AFCON) ‘must be won by an African team’.

Was not a great day for SA sport yesterday with the Proteas losing to the Black Caps in the first of 3 one day internationals at a very hot Paarl and Bafana Bafana drew 0/0 with the Cape Verde islands..................Yes you heard that right the Cape  Verde Island. ‘I know i did not think enough people lived on tat island to put s team together, but apparently theu do and they are good enough to hold Baf Baf to a draw. Don’t see us doing well in the AFCON cup to be honest and if we make the semi finals I will be surprised. 

Lance Armstrong was on Oprah this week and revealed that he had in fact been taking performance enhancing drugs to enable him to win the Tours de France a record 7 times and that he has a flawed character, first of all “big surprise” as  he had found guilty of doping and that’s from tests so it’s not like he was  and second of all who cares.....’not me that’s for sure.......”there is a movie in this story for sure”.

 

I found this on the net :Cape Town – Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe says the forthcoming African Union summit should discuss the appointment of a president of Africa to foster unity among Africans, a report said on Wednesday.

Addressing journalists after meeting with President Thomas Boni Yayi of Benin in Harare, Mugabe said such a move "would also ensure that member states adhere to the founding principles of the continental body Newsday online reported."Yes, we need a president for Africa," Mugabe said. "That is what we are going to discuss at the AU summit. Africa is not a united continent. We are not at the stage our founding fathers wanted us to be when the organ was formed." Mugabe said the AU had failed to integrate Africans, with some seen in the context of Anglophones and others Francophones.

The proposal to set up a United States of Africa was first made by the slain Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi in 1999 as a way of ending the continent's conflicts, but it failed to secure enough support from his African counterparts with some suspecting Gaddafi wanted to rule Africa. Yayi who is the outgoing AU chairperson said he was in Zimbabwe to discuss the challenges Africa was facing as a continent and to get advice on ways to end conflict, in countries like the Democratic Republic of Congo, Mali and Central African Republic, among others.

For once I agree with Bob ...............“Africa needs at least one President who can do some work” and it sure ain’t “Rob Bob before he robs you” Mugabe.

I Hate paying tax, especially when its wasted and used for purposes other than to make the country and its infrastructure better. This explanation uses beer as an example so even my Blog readers will be able to understand it.

Suppose that every evening, 10 men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to R100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this :- The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay R1. The sixth would pay R3. The seventh would pay R7. The eighth would pay R12. The ninth would pay R18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay R59.  So, that’s what they decided to do……. The 10 men drank in the bar every evening and were quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner said, “Since you are all such good customers, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by R20″. Drinks for the 10 men would now cost just R80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the R20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realised that R20 divided by six is R3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.  So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.  So the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving). The sixth now paid R2 instead of R3 (33% saving). The seventh now paid R5 instead of R7 (28% saving). The eighth now paid R9 instead of R12 (25% saving). The ninth now paid R14 instead of R18 (22% saving). The tenth now paid R49 instead of R59 (16% saving). Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a rand out of the R20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,”but he got R10!” “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a rand too. It’s unfair – he got 10 times more benefit than me!” “That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get R10 back, when I got only R2? The wealthy always win!” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”  The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill! And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier. Well that’s about if for this week, except to say have a Lekker week and think positive thoughts Ciao SPAD --

Took a trip on a aeroplane, aint got time to take a fast train

Prisoner gets 5 A’s: so instead of Reading, Riting. And Rithmatic its now Robbery, Rapin and Rehabilitation. Matric results out and while the pass rates have improved slightly it’s still disconcerting that of the 1.2 million Grade 1’s that started their school career in 2001 only one third of them wrote Matric and only 30% of those are eligible to go to varsity. When are those that are in power going to understand for a country to grow we need educated citizens, not Morons.

Hendre Fourie who played 8 rugby tests for the Poms and has now retired due to continuous shoulder injuries has been given 3 weeks to get out of the UK or he will be deported, “Lekker ne Hendre”. That’s what you call gratitude I suppose.

Talking about Rugby seems that there is a alternate lifestyle, “plays for the other team gent in the all blacks team and he is being urged to come out of the change room. Wonder who it could be?, my bet is on Sonny Bill Williams, but I would die laughing if it was Ritchie McCaw.   

Rumour is that JZ is getting married again, it’s been denied of course but where there is smoke there is a “JZ wedding being planned”, why do you think he built a frikken village? So he can fill it with wives that why. Talking about JZ ”our esteemed leader” he had this to say at the end of the ANC’s 100^th birthday celebrations.

Durban – “The inequality between black and white households was "bad for reconciliation", President Jacob Zuma said on Sunday. Zuma, who was speaking at the closing ceremony of the ANC's centenary celebrations in Durban, said: "The situation that white households have six times the wealth of black households should be a thing of the past." Zuma referred to the 2011 census which revealed that the income of the average white household remained six times higher than that of the average African household." It is bad for reconciliation and nation building and all of us, black and white, must work to reduce and ultimately eradicate such a massive gap in the second phase of our country's revolution." Referring to the ANC's history, he paid tribute to those who had contributed to the organisation's successes. He also urged unity within the organisation, saying this was good for the party as well as the country”.

I would like to respond to our “Esteemed comrade President” as I feel he should not go unchallenged.

I think that the inequality between the Lifestyle you and your cronies live, the means by which you got your hands on it, and the devastation amongst the people who voted you into Power IS THE BIG ISSUE. I don’t think you should try and cover your ass by making this into a racist issue, while you try to keep the masses uneducated (by lack of commitment or will to educate the future of this country) Your people are not stupid and see how Rich connected Black people live and of course its natural that they also want a slice of the cake, “Hell so do I. “You have kept them behind................not White People”. Your party has been in power for 19 years and you should be ashamed of yourself always using the race card and Vervwoed. The ANC and you as its leader need to take responsibility for your actions “or lack thereof.

Most people “and JZ” included do not understand the law of averages, a small white population with a small % of top earners, earning salaries of CEO’s will on average ALWAYS show a higher income per household. On the other hand a much larger black population with the same number of Black CEO’s/Government Leeches (ministers) etc will average a lower income per household.

I can’t seem to think that JZ is purposely trying to create a racial divide, much like his great mate ‘”Rob Bob, before he Robs you” Mugabe. I battle to make and meet my own financial obligations as it is but now i must be portrayed as the “:Rich white man” who “stole” the 6 more times  wealth that i have................”What a load of Shit” I worked hard “very hard in fact” for what i have, it was not given to me, i received basic education and up - skilled myself to get to where i am today and believe me i still shake my head in wonderment when riding my R8500 Big Boy scooter around PE and I see some young (mostly PD ladies) driving top of the range vehicle’s such as Range Rovers, Jaguars etc etc , some worth more than my house.      

Next time you are actually in country and not at a party or singing “bring my machine gun” you should look out the window of your Frikken expensive “tax payer” paid German LUXURY vehicle just look at the people driving the luxury cars beside you and then look to see how many of the people begging at the side of the road are white. Put your money where your mouth is “Comrade President” take  cut in salary, stamp out corruption, ensure your ministers actually do their jobs (like ensure kids have school books) and don’t waste money through blatant inefficiency. Make sure government employees actually do a honest day’s work for a honest day’s pay.

All the monies that are saved could then be put to better use, such as employing people to repair roads, build classrooms, hospitals, clean our cities and in general restore the infrastructure that the ANC have since 1994 allowed to disintegrate. If that does not sound like something you would like to do or sounds like “hard work” resign and let someone who will do all the above have a go and hopefully at the same time that person can strive to unite all South African’s, instead of feeding the racial tension that keeps you in power. (Remember Nelson Mandela???)

. 

As a reminder “Mr President” here are the benefits of being the president ‘its time to earn them”. Annual salary: R2 040 780, Corporate credit card, State funeral with full military ceremonial honours , Presidential guest house , Full salary for life after leaving office , Security for life after leaving office , R1,3-million annual contribution to medical aid, Free furnished accommodation in Cape Town and Pretoria, Free cleaning and maintenance of these residences , R3-million for two cars for Cape Town and Pretoria , Daily allowance when travelling abroad for tips, room service, reading material and normal liquid refreshments.

Flew up to Gauteng on Wednesday for a Trainers conference, drove from airport to Pretoria and it was hot “with a capital H” had dinner at a really nice venue  called “Stone Edge” on Wednesday night near Irene (was Jan Smuts farm at one stage, Irene, not the restaurant) and was very nice. I was not too well however on Wednesday evening and think it was a combination of stress and the heat.  I ALSO MANAGED TO BREAK MY READING GLASSES WHICH OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS BECAME A HASSLE. Woke up at 3 on Thursday morning to work on a Risk assessment that I had to have finished by Friday.

 If we thought Wednesday was hot, Thursday was a scorcher and we had a great facilitator who spoke to us about how to become better facilitators as well as body language. The guest house we stayed at while nice enough had no pool, but the property next door did, so Ryan and I decided to go and ask them if we could ‘Please” have dip. It must have been 35 degrees at 5 in the afternoon. The property next door was an undertakers so I “quietly” asked the receptionist if we could swim, she said no. “perhaps she thought we would make enough noise to wake the dead” who knows.   

Friday am I was up at 3 am and worked on RA, about 40 minutes into it the computer crashed, it overheated, which i am not surprised at seeing that I had wet a bath towel and tried to sleep with it covering me. I also got eaten alive by the mozzies. Managed to get the computer up and running again and had to work hard to get the info back in the RA. Went for a jog at 5am and was not abducted, raped or murdered and sold for muti (did run under the Gautrain lines that at 5 in the morning with a overcast sky, breaking dawn and a purple light seemed eerie) . At the venue that was a castle and obviously a wedding venue (wwwsorexestate.co.za) there was an old Bently that they used as a wedding car and the dude that was in charge of it kindly started the V8 motor up, nice guy and one that no one will give any kak due to the large Firearm that that he keeps strapped to his side (357 magnum). This wasn’t “Dirty Harry” it was “Vuil Viljoen” .On Friday afternoon after the conference we hopped in the car and had a detour through Pretoria, see that they are changing the street names, that’s sure to ‘Please” so many residents ‘Not”  Met up with office staff who had been at another conference at the airport, had a couple of drinks and a few laughs and then it was boarding time.

Just was the bus was about to drive to the plane, the clouds opened and dropped a large amount of water. We got soaked running from the bus to the plane and had to wait half an hour as the Highveld thunderstorm raged all around us. Seems they are not too keen on ground staff getting zapped by lightning. Anyway the flight home was uneventful and it was great to get home.   

On Saturday morning (yesterday) Tania asked if we could have a “chat”, “oh shit what have I done” was my first thought. To cut a long story short, Gabby was given a horse, yes a horse. It’s the one she has been leasing and the lady who owns it cannot ride anymore and instead of selling it she decided that gabby would be the perfect person to look after him, so now Gabby has a horse and is looking for a part time job to help with his upkeep.

 Have to share this received from a friend.

“Dear Mr Mineworker, now that you are earning R16 000

 per month, you will no longer qualify for free legal aid. You are also

 now earning enough to contribute to SARS and spread the tax base. That

 means that you can afford your own medical aid and private hospital. I do

 hope that you will understand that you now have to shoulder your

 responsibilities as a South African citizen who earns on the same level

 as someone with at least a basic degree or even honours degree and a

 number of years of experience. You can no longer allow your family to

 live on handouts from the state. I do trust you understand that with an

 improved salary also comes more responsibility towards your family and

 fellow South Africans. That means that I, as a highly qualified

 professional, will up my fees and demand that you pay within 30 days. I

 do hope you enjoy your new economic freedom”

Well another busy week ahead, so gotta go, have  a great one. Oh looks like i am going to have to do a 1 year Safety Diploma course this year as part of my up – skilling  “No rest for the wicked”

Ciao

Spad

I owe I owe I owe so it’s off to work I go ............................:-(

Last day of freedom today then tomorrow back to the grindstone and the shit starts all over again.

New years eve was a bit of a damp squid, we wanted to have a Braai and then go and watch the fireworks at the beachfront , but it rained on and off the whole evening so we Braai’d and then we did go to the beachfront and watched the musical fountains, got soaked and decided that we should just come home and wait for 2013 in a comfortable dry surroundings. Gabby had a couple of friends over so they just chilled and went to bed not to long after Midnight.    

A friend of mine in Claren’s son and passenger survived a crash in a microlite on 30 January...........how lucky is that, a broken wrist, bruises and scrapes are all that he suffered and the passenger who probably had to go and change their underwear also suffered minor cuts and bruises, the microlite however was not so lucky and is a write off.

On Wednesday took a trip to jeffery’s Bay (or J Bay as it’s known by the locals) and possibly went to the worst rest in Jeffery’s bay and possibly SA. What a disaster, was busy , not enough staff , didn’t have ingredients to make milkshakes for Gabby and Stephen, I mean no milk and ice cream, was Checkers or PnP not open ?? it took 90 minutes  to get 4 Frikken meals and they were surprised that I got upset. When i went to pay I told the manager that i did not think that the service had been up to scratch and the food while adequate had not been worth the wait as this was the excuse the waiter had kept giving us. The manager went on about its the 2^nd January, Blah blah blah........I told him that I was in the Hospitality industry for many years and the std should be the same any day of the year that i come to his restaurant and that he should plan ahead, then the waiter “Jean Jooste” said to me ‘I hope that u never come back again, as you can imagine I then got a tad Pissed off and replied to the little shit, “You won’t have to F&&^king worry about that”. Tania , Gabby and Stephen had left the restaurant long time ago because they knew what was coming and NO I did not leave a tip. So “if your ever like in J bay  dudes and dudettes don’t I REPEAT DO NOT go to HEY JUDE restaurant (here is a photo) the FOOD is kak, service sucks and the attitude of the staff is seriously in need of a Running F Slap.         

On Thursday it was windy with a Capital W with wind speeds at 117 - 120 kms per hour, signboards blew over, roofs disappeared, trees blew over and tree branches parted ways, a container ship at Coega harbour had its  ropes that keep it firmly attached to the quayside snap and it drifted around for a little while before being brought under control.

I see that the All Blacks put up a bit of a fight in the 2 innings after being bowled out for 45 runs in the first session on day 1 of the test match at Newlands. However the Protea’s still won by an innings and 37 runs. They play the 2^nd test in PE next week, so hopefully when I get back from Joburg they will still be playing, think i may go and watch a day on Saturday or Sunday. 

Richard Rennie a friend of ours in Clarens was attacked this week in his house by the gardner, here was a press release from Clarens Tourism:  “Richard Rennie, 80 year old well renowned artist & dear friend to many Clarenites was brutally attacked in his home last night by his gardener. The motive seems to been robbery. Richard is currently in ICU with broken ribs & severe swelling to his face. The brutal attack was stopped by a security guard who apprehended the man. He was arrested by the SAPS and is currently been held in the local police cells. We believe Richard is doing well and apparently he is in good spirits. Impeccable sources have let known that the local station commander, Capt Mohale, allegedly changed the charge sheet to read house breaking only & scrapped a charge of attempted murder because "It would make her crime statistics look bad." How long must we continue being victims of manipulated crime statistics before somebody wakes up & takes responsibility for the increasingly ineffective management of our local SAPS station? We as residents urgently need to become involved and voice our opinions. Please comment & share this post so we can start taking action & take a stand against, not only the attack on one of our icons, but also the completely unacceptable manner in which it is being dealt with”. "Get well soon Richard and i hope the bastard that did this to you gets whats coming to him" 

Richard is out of ICU but still in a critical condition, his attack was on E tv as well in local newspapers. Its nice to see that the security guard (Kelvin Thame) that saved Richards life is being recognised and wil be receiving a medal and reward from the Clarens residents as a sign of their thanks. Kelvin heard the noise at Richards house, went to investigate saw him being attacked overpowered the bastard that attacked Richard tied him up and called the police.

4  most Baddass ways anyone has taken on a deadly animal.

Aishat Maksudova (which we're pretty sure translates to "She-Liam Femme-Neeson") shot to fame after she beat a wolf to death at the spry age of 56. Upon seeing 50 pounds of gaping maw try to turn her leg into the first stages of lupine poop, the Russian grandmother, in her own words, “was not even frightend”." Think about that the next time you wig out after spotting a daddy longlegs in the bathtub. According to Maksudova, she tried to lift her arm with the intention of ramming it straight down the wolf's throat, but she couldn't because the wolf was already gnawing on it. So she did the next most viable thing and clubbed the hell out of it with an axe she had on hand. Hold on, Aishat. Hitting the wolf with an axe was your second choice? You must have known that having the words "DIED TRYING TO PUNCH A WOLF STRAIGHT IN THE SCREAM SECTOR" carved onto your tombstone guarantees you V.I.P. entry into Valhalla.

Back in 2009, Kenyan farmhand Ben Nyaumbe was attacked by a 13-foot-long phallic metaphor after he accidentally stepped on it. The snake, knowing that it was big enough to do whatever the fuck it wanted, dragged Nyaumbe into a tree and squeezed him – for three hours Nyaumbe first removed his shirt and attempted to smother the serpent, but he abandoned this plan when he realized that the snake was so consumed with murder that it had transcended the mortal need for oxygen. At this critical juncture, Nyaumbe decided to bite the beast instead, because "an eye for an eye" is the only blood-scrawled amendment on the constitution of the animal kingdom. Somewhere between trying to asphyxiate the reptile and nibbling it into an early grave, Nyaumbe used his cellphone to call local police, who helped free the poor-yet-mighty bastard. Fortunately for Nyaumbe, this was the most trusting police force in the history of the world, as we can't name any cops who would seriously entertain the complaint "HELP I'M BEING KIDNAPPED BY A SNAKE." (Any good police officer knows that snakes only  deal crack cocaine.)

In 2009, Dustin Britton was cutting wood in a Wyoming forest when an extremely hungry mountain lion began staring him down. Realizing that his wife and children were close by, Britton ran for a clearing, where things became extremely metal. You see, Britton was cutting wood with 3,000 revolutions per minute of spinning death. So when the mountain lion attempted to eat Britton's throat, he scored a long gash on the cat's shoulder, which incredibly did not kill the animal. No, the mountain lion was later shot by animal control, its life essence kept a flicker only by its burning hatred of power tools.

In 2001, 8-year-old Jessie Arbogast was attacked by a 7-foot-long bull shark that tore off his arm. This sucked -- for the shark. How come? Because Arbogast was visiting the Pensacola, Florida, shore with the very personification of mans contempt of nature, his uncle, Vance Flosenzier. Noticing the commotion in the water, Flosenzier immediately set about grappling the shark out of the ocean, because A) the shark still held Arbogast's dismembered arm and B) the law of the wild dictates that when a shark attacks a child, it loses its legal right to fight on its home turf. Gripping the shark's tail, Flosenzier laid it out on the shark-smothering beach so the fish could meditate on how its biological imperatives completely screwed the pooch this time. Also, Arbogast's arm was successfully reattached, as medical science knows better than to waste the time and efforts of a man who wrestles sharks.

only 41 days left before the start of SUPER 15 , Oh Yeah I can’t wait we have 8 games here at the stadium and I will be at every one. In my last Blog of 2012 i asked about New Year’s Resolutions, not sure if any of you made for 2013 but listed here are the 11 most popular resolutions made by people (how many of these have u made over the years??)

     1.    Cook More
2. Eat Better
3. Get a Better Education
4. Quit Smoking 
5. Stick to a Budget
6. Reduce Debt
7. Get Organized
8. Reduce Alcohol Intake
9. Lose Weight
10. Get Fit
11. Spend More Time With Family

Yesterday was a stunning day in the Bay with no wind, blue skies and very hot, spent most for the day Chilling and reading, went to buy a new book to read cause my head is about to explode with fact and figures on research i am doing for a book that I have been asked to contribute to. I enjoyed Billy Connolly’s book (Route 66)so much that  bought Charlie Boorman’s  book “By Any Means” and it’s also pretty good, what a life, that’s a job I would love to have.

Ok well got to get my shit together for work tomorrow, hit the ground running as have SAMTRAC papers to mark a workshop to develop for next Monday and on Wednesday fly up to Gauteng for a Conference/trainers course................hopefully i get to see my folks while i am up there.

Ok have a great week

Ciao

SPAD