There is always 2066

I came back from the St Georges fan park last Saturday having watched Germany give there old foe England a foot balling lesson, the 3 lions did not roar they “meowed”. Yeah I know what some of you are going to say “if that goal had been allowed they would have been a different outfit, well I agree the goal should have been given, but all that would have done would to see them lose 4-2. The Germans came out to play and play they did, the better team by far on the day. Overweight, overpaid and over the hill, I cannot believe that players of that calibre are paid the sums of money that they get. England may have invented the modern game, but they sure as hell are not anywhere close to being ???

So this now begs the question if 1970, 1974, 1978, 1982, 1986, 1990, 1994. 1998, 2002, 2006 and now 2010 have not been the years for the Poms to reclaim the glory days of 1966 when will that actually happen? I can see the drunken louts now crying into their warm beers going on about the goal that wasn’t and how in 2014 will be the year, dream on dream on.

All I can say is that I am really happy that the two biggest conflicts ever fought where actually not football games because we would all have been wearing funny steel helmets and have little black moustaches. The English team in this SWC like most others in the past where mediocre and proves a point that the English in general are mediocre, they celebrate mediocrity and coming second or not just quite making it, that’s why they have so many foreigners running the country for them, because the Poms themselves are either on the dole in the pub or in a foreign country celebrating the teams mediocrity.

I believe that the 3 lions are being replaced by 3 tampons…..”why you ask” , well this world cup has been the worst period that they have ever gone through. The jokes doing the rounds about the Poms and how crap they play are good and I have seen a number of really funny jokes at the expense of the overpaid English team. And now the islanders will know what the Germans felt like in 1966 with the Geoff Hurst Goal that wasn’t.

Saw Holland play Brazil on Friday at the Nelson Mandela Bay stadium “FRIKKEN AWESOME” wow that was a game and I shared it with Ryan, so that was all good. Sorry Tania could not join us, but really did not think she would get so into it, that has been awesome for me to see Tania be so enthusiastic about the SWC….thanks my Angel you know that I love you, but you always seem to surprise me even more, I am so lucky to have you as my wife XXX

Must say the statement from Sepp Blatter would be to costly to install monitor for games is ridiculous as before the teams had started back for towards the halfway for the German goal kick we had a seen a replay of the incident at least twice, even a blind person could have seen it was over the line, so have a 3rd referee as we do in rugby and the Ref can refer items like that as well as diving, unnecessary red cards.

Seems that Uruguay also had the hand of god assist them on Friday against Ghana, Sanchez the cheat decided to swat the ball off the line as it was about to go in seconds from the end of extra time that would have won the match for Ghana to see them reach the semi finals of the SWC, a first for any African team. The resulting penalty taken was not well executed and Uruguay won the penalty shoot out, I think that the rules should change if you deliberately handle the ball on the line then the team should be given a goal.

We have also been attending any games we can get to at the local Fan park and that has also been fun, we saw Germany give Argentina a good hiding on Saturday and look forward to watching the 2 x semi finals as well as the Final there

The two week SAMTRAC course was hard but well worth it, met 3 great people and become friends, so that was an added bonus. Ryan as expected was a great trainer and really made the course interesting. I pretty confident that I passed, hopefully I will have done enough to get a distinction.

The Book ‘Clarens Chronicles” has started to sell and I am petty pleased as to how many so far. Still want to do a book signing in Clarens and hopefully sell some more. Tania and I also decided that we want to contribute R made from the sales to local children’s charities (Clarens) as its important that we put back into the community. So if you have not bought a copy, please do so.

I have, after 5 attempts managed to see the 12 x 8 meter flag on Donkin reserve and its pretty impresive, the flag pole must be the height of the actual light house.

Received a few phone calls from Clarenites this week , so that bhas been cool, also going onto Facebook is keeping me up to date on what is happening in the village, although I believe a certain someone feels that now that I have left the village I should perhaps keep out of what is happening there.. that’s there opinion, but Clarens will always have a special place in my heart and without trying to brag (okay just a little) I feel that I played a part in promoting the village and helping to get it to where it is today on the map, along with many other unsung heros in the village. Unfortunately its always a couple of the same usual suspects that try to grab the limelight and make it look like they alone have been responsible for the growth of the village…..but lets not get back on that subject again, as could end up with another lawyers letter.


This school holidays I have started to feel like my folks did when they drove me to friends houses, movies etc and picked me up at night, actually its quite cool, waited up till nearly midnight the other day as Gabby and a posse of friends and a couple of parents went to the fan park to watch a game and listen to a rock group I have never heard of (yep sound like my dad). Gabby is turning Into a young woman, has a boyfriend called Stephen (and he is a nice kid) he also knows that he will lose the ability to reproduce in the future should he decide to take advantage of my only child J, seriously he is a nice lad and he and Gabby seem to get on so well……Aah young love.

Well gotta go, keep well for the week ahead.

Ciao

The Village Idiot – AKA S.P.A.D ( Stephen published author Dunkley) Thanks jeannele

And the Oscar goes to

While some of the stars playing in the world cup undoubtedly have oodles of talent many have obviously also been to acting school and a few I suspect even to beauty school…………what a bunch of drama queens if any of them decided to start playing rugby they would not last 5 minutes. I also don’t think that I have seen so much diving since watched the 2008 Olympics (aquatic disciplines). I was also thinking that I would like to see an International rugby player walking up to Jonathan Kaplan or a linesman after a call had gone against them and say you are a big %$#@&*^%$#@ and I hope that your %$*&@#$ falls off, that person would be off the field faster than an Indian driving through the Free State in the 70’s and 80’s.

I was not able to get a ticket for the Bafana/France game in Bloemfontein, but I think I actually went one better and that was to watch the game on a 75 square meter big screen at St Georges Fan Park in Port Elizabeth. My bother in law and wife met up with me at the park and at 3.30 already a large number of people where heading towards the gates, by the time the game started there must have been 10 000 people there by the end of the first half, that number had doubled, it was just an experience that I was privileged to be part of and one that I will never forget, it was strange going home as I did not know if I should be happy that we had won or sad that we had lost and been the first host nation team to go out of the SWC in its 80 year history.

It seems just yesterday that the SWC started and we are already at the last 16 teams. There have been a few surprising results as well as upsets this year France out, Italy out, USA in. Stars such as Rooney, Messi, Ronaldo and Drogba not lighting up the field as we had hoped, this world cup has in my mind left some reputations as well as world rankings in tatters

Match of the next stage has to be the game today between Germany and England, it’s usually a cracker of a game in any tournament they meet in, “could that be from that little tiff they had in the 1940’s I wonder”? My Prediction is Germany to win on penalties. The Pommie fans after beating Slovenia where full of themselves and after 12 hours of drinking and behaving like louts really believe that they can become the 2010 Soccer world champs. Bloemfontein will see perhaps the biggest police presence in the SWC to date; they have even called army to assist in keeping the 2 sets of fans apart.

“It would seem that the World cup has turned out just like WW11, the French surrendered early, the Italians are in retreat mode, the USA arrived at the last minute and the British are left to fight the Bloody Germans”

My predictions for teams in the Quarter finals.
Uruguay
Ghana
Germany
Argentina
Holland
Brazil
Paraguay
Portugal
So who will win the SWC that Bafana are now out, well my money is on Brazil and not Brasil as many supporters shirts in South Africa have it spelt. It also does not hurt that the Brazilians probably have the best looking supporters, although I have to say apart from a couple of Kiwi ladies that have taken there blouses off to expose a couple of frilly bra’s the eye candy in the stands has been rather disappointing, hopefully as we get closer to the Semi finals the talent (on and off the field) will get better.

Boks played much better against the Italians this week and 55 /11 was a fair indication of the match, Bryan Habana matched Joost vd Westhuizens try scoring record of 38, but has a way to go before he matched s the number of fluzzies that Joost has scored with. I see that there was another ex pat playing for Italy, that was born in the Eastern Cape, perhaps next year instead of the Boks playing a Barbarian team , they could set up a fixture of Boks vs South Africans playing for other international teams……”just a thought”

On TV a couple of nights ago they showed the “homesick” expats all blowing the Vuvuzela at Trafalgar square and the Lord mayor of London trying to blow one, replete in a South African scarf, seems the Poms like the plastic noise maker and have had to ban it at Wimbeldon (perhaps if they had let them be used the two tennis players would not have taken 11 hours + to knock a small green ball across a net) “How Boring”. They spoke to a few Poms who like the Vivazulu, vuvezula, viverziller, vuvooozerla…………”it’s a VUVUZELA you pasty Pom” So far have managed to collect 115 uses for a vuvuzela, perhaps another book in the offing ?? as you can see vuvuzelas have been annoying people since the rennaisance

This week the house in PE became ours, well that’s not 100% true as the Bank manager also owns some of it, but nice to know we can start paining, putting up pictures etc.

The Village idiot became a published author this week and had his book. “The Clarens Chronicles” delivered, is actually exciting to see your name on a publication that more than 10 people will read, My sister loves it……thanks sis. I now need to get to Clarens to do some promoting and selling, otherwise for the next 50 years family and friends will be getting a copy for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas Easter etc etc

Attending SAMTRAC this week, not as easy as I thought it was going to be, plenty of work, also did not help I missed a day from being sick, so having to catch up. This week coming will be hectic with assignments to be finished, learning in class and studying for 3 hour exam on Friday. Nervous that I will not do well; want to get a good pass.

Is my moms birthday today (Sunday) not able to be there to celebrate with her in gauteng, but we called her this morning and gave her our love and know that she will have an awesome day. Love you lots mom may you have many many many more birthdays.

Had a visit from Sandy, Shanem Keegan, Kelsey and Duke this week, they are on a road trip and they popped in to say hi and stay with us for the evening, was really great to see them and catch up on whats been happeing in the village. I also got to have a blonde (with Tania's permission) A clarens Blonde from Clarens Brewery, all thats missing from the picture are Friends Chicken strips.

Kirsten’s (sister in law) dad has taken really ill this past week and I know it has been really hard for her and the family, while we do what we can to help it’s a big burden for Kirsten and family to carry. This brought home that all of our parents are getting older and unfortunately frailer, so its important that at every opportunity you tell them you love them and hopefully when the time comes and we know days are few we are near enough to be able to be with them and comfort them, must be very hard for those living overseas and having parents in SA should there be a problem.

I have seen a number of accidents in PE since moving here 6 months ago, 2 last week at the same traffic light, yesterday Keith was involved in a accident not to far from home, he was on his way to collect jumping castles when 2 kids ran straight accross the road, one he struck and she hit the windscreen, te emergency services and police where there very quickly and the child that took the brunt of the car is ok and no serious damage. Thankful that dad and the children are ok, Guys when you driving in SA look for the pedetrians as well.

Had a Wimpy breakfast this morning R38.00 and its not a bad price for what you get, but look at this menu from wimpy (1972) (and I bet we complained about the prices then as well)

Well that’s my ramblings for this week; enjoy the soccer (Go Germany, Go Argentina)

Have a great week

The Village idiot
(Now an author)

Just for fun

This article was published on 20 June on the Supersport website by Peter Davies and wanted to share with you as it’s a awesome piece of writing


Dear World Cup visitors,

Now that you are safely in our country you are no doubt happily realising you are not in a war zone. This may be in stark contrast to what you have been bracing yourself for should you have listened to Uli Hoeness or are an avid reader of English tabloids, which as we all know are only good for wrapping fish ‘n chips and advancing the careers of large-chested teens on page three.

As you emerge blinking from your luxury hotel room into our big blue winter skies, you will surely realise you are far more likely to be killed by kindness than by a stray bullet. Remember that most of the media reports you have read, which have informed your views on South Africa, will have been penned by your colleagues. And you know what journos are like, what with their earnest two thousand word opuses on the op-ed pages designed to fix this country’s ills in a heartbeat. Based on exhaustive research over a three-day visit.

Funnily enough, we are well aware of the challenges we face as a nation and you will find that 95% of the population is singing from the same song-sheet in order to ensure we can live up to our own exacting expectations.

We are also here to look after you and show you a good time. Prepare to have your preconceived notions well and truly shattered.

For instance, you will find precious few rhinos loitering on street corners, we don’t know a guy in Cairo named Dave just because we live in Johannesburg, and our stadiums are magnificent, world-class works of art.

Which is obviously news to the Sky TV sports anchor who this week remarked that Soccer City looked ‘ a bit of a mess’. She didn’t realize the gaps in the calabash exterior are to allow in natural light and for illumination at night, and not the result of vandalism or negligence.

The fact that England, the nation which safely delivered Wembley Stadium two years past its due date, is prepared to offer us South Africans advice on stadium-readiness should not be surprising. The steadiest stream of World Cup misinformation has emanated from our mates the Brits over the past couple of years.

If it’s not man-eating snakes lurking in Rooney’s closet at the team’s (allegedly half-built) Royal Bafokeng training base, then it’s machete-wielding gangs roaming the suburbs in search of tattooed, overweight Dagenham dole-queuers to ransack and leave gurgling on the pavement.

In fact what you are entering is the world’s most fascinating country, in my opinion. I’m pretty sure you will find that it functions far more smoothly, is heaps more friendly and offers plenty more diversions than you could possibly have imagined.

In addition to which, the population actually acts like human beings, and not like they are being controlled by sinister forces from above which turns them into bureaucratically-manipulated robots.

Plus we have world’s most beautiful women. The best weather. Eight channels of SuperSport. Food and wine from the gods themselves. Wildlife galore. (Love the Dutch team’s bus slogan: “Don’t fear the Big 5; fear the Orange 11”).

Having said all that, Jo’burg is undoubtedly one of the world’s most dangerous cities. Just ask those Taiwanese tourists who got out of their hire car to take close-up snaps of tawny beasts at the Lion Park a few years back. Actually, ask what’s left of them. And did you know the chances of being felled by cardiac arrest from devouring a mountain of meat at one of our world class restaurants has been statistically proven to be 33.3% higher in Jozi than in any other major urban centre not built upon a significant waterway? It’s true. I swear. I read it in a British tabloid.

Having recently spent two years comfortably cocooned in small town America, I’m only too aware of how little much of the outside world knows about this country. The American channel I used to work for has a massive battalion of employees descending on World Cup country. It has also apparently issued a recommendation to its staff to stay in their hotels when not working.

Given that said corporation is headquartered in a small town which many say is “best viewed through the rear-view mirror”, I find the recommendation, if it’s true, to be utterly astounding. In fact I don’t believe it is true. Contrary to the global stereotype, the best Americans are some of the sharpest people in the world. The fact they have bought most tickets in this World Cup proves the point.

Of course I have only lived in Johannesburg, city of terror and dread, virtually all my life, so don’t have the in-depth knowledge of say, an English broadsheet journalist who has been in the country for the weekend, but nevertheless I will share some of my observations gleaned over the years.

Any foreign tourist or media representative who is worried about his safety in South Africa should have a word with the Lions rugby fans from last year, or the Barmy Army cricket supporters (lilywhite hecklers by day, slurring, lager-fuelled lobsters by night). They managed just fine, just like the hundreds of thousands of fans who have streamed into the country over the past fifteen years for various World Cups, Super 14 matches, TriNations tests and other international events. Negligible crime incidents involving said fans over said period of time.

Trivia question: which country has hosted the most global sporting events over the past decade and a half? You don’t need me to answer that, do you?

In addition. Don’t fret when you see a gaggle of freelance salesmen converge on your car at the traffic lights (or robots as we like to call them) festooned with products. You are not about to be hijacked. Here in Mzansi (nickname for SA) we do a lot of our purchasing at robots. Here you can stock up on flags, coat hangers, batteries, roses for the wife you forgot to kiss goodbye this morning and a whole host of useful merchandise.

Similarly, that guy who runs up as you park the rental car outside the pub intends no malice. He’s your car guard. Give him a buck or two and your vehicle will be safe while you refuel for hours on our cheap, splendid beer. Unless someone breaks into it, of course.

We drive on the left in this country. Exercise caution when crossing the road at a jog-trot with 15 kilograms of camera gear on your back. Exercise common sense full stop. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you want to leave wads of cash in your hotel room like our Colombian friends, don’t be surprised if it grows wings.

Bottomline. Get out there and breathe in great lusty lungfuls of this amazing nation. Tuck into our world-class food and wines. Disprove the adage that white men can’t dance at our throbbing, vibrant night-clubs. Learn to say hello in all eleven official languages. Watch at least one game in a township. You will not be robbed and shot. You will be welcomed like a lost family member and looked after as if you are royalty. Ask those Bulls rugby fans who journeyed to Soweto recently.

With a dollop of the right attitude, this country will change your life.

It’s Africa’s time. Vacate your hotel room. Join the party.

Waka waka eh eh.

Homesick.

(Sung to the tune of Homeless, by Paul Simon and Ladysmith black Mombaso)

We are homesick, homesick wish we where part of the Soccer fun
We are homesick, homesick, wish we could feel the African sun

I am so sick of reading how many south Africans are homesick and wish they where in SA over the world cup….solution is very simple ladies and gents, come back HOME. They are trying to feel part of an event in their own country by living in a foreign one, does not happen. This is happening in South Africa and to “Feel it” you have to be here, I can just imagine the number of Sefricans wearing Bafana shirts, faces painted and blowing the Vuvuzela huddled around a TV In some dingy flat or house, trying to re-create SA by having a poxy barbeque (not a Braai unless your in SA) and all crying into their warm castles that they miss SA so much …..blah blah blah, boo hoo.

Isn’t it amazing how when something good is happening in SA all the “Patriots” come out of the woodwork and start waving the flag and supporting the country, but when times are not that great they have nothing good to say about SA all hanging on for 5 years to get that coveted British passport, I have one anyone want it ??. enough of that otherwise I will be called a Moron and narrow minded again, would not want that to happen would we J.

Sitting on my scooter at the traffic lights on Friday afternoon I thought to myself last week this time the country was a buzz of anticipation and excitement about the SWC as well as the chances of our own team to do well in this competition, after Wednesday and our 3 -0 loss to Uruguay there has been a noticeable drop in tat enthusiasm as well as support for the team.

I was at St Georges fan park on Wednesday night, thousands had braved the cold and wet conditions to support the boys and sing and shout them on to victory….The fans showed up but unfortunately Bafana did not, I do not believe that they played well, however do not think that they deserved to lose 3-0. The penalty was a travesty and after seeing supporters leaving the stadium in droves Bafana dropped their heads and defences and this allowed Uruguay to score their 3rd.

I still believe that Bafana can make it to the next round with a good win over France and hopefully the Uruguay/Mexico game goes our way. I have to say that I was a little nervous at first going to the fan park, but what a “Jol”, it was AWESOME, the whole package well presented and professionally hosted, this leads me to a conversation I heard yesterday at my local watering hole in Port Elizabeth ‘The Golden Duck” 4 gents “dyed in the wool, Rugby supporters where discussing the SWC, the games they had been to, how they had enjoyed the games, how awesome it was organized, the service levels and wait for it ………..How proud they are to be south Africans at the moment, that statement for me summed up the SWC, for years many people have not been proud to be South African and this is a legacy we will hopefully take forward after the SWC and the FIFA “interim government” have left our shores. Policing levels to stay the same, criminals apprehended shortly after the crime and better yet convicted almost immediately, now there is no excuse, if it can be doe during the SWC it can be done forever, service levels have increased, so they should stay at that level after the SWC cup as well, there should be no excuses.

Was great to see Algeria give the England team a soccer lesson on Friday night, even the two princes Harry and William could not get Yobo Rooney and the others to actually win the game, hopefully Slovenia beat them hear in PE on Wednesday.

The Vuvuzela controversy rages on and I have been looking to collect 101 alternate uses for a Vuvuzela, have so far come up with 93 uses so only need 8 more. Some real thinking out of the box.

Next week I am doing SAMTRAC (10 day course) Ryan is presenting and is a great course for me to be doing, as with this qualification I can get a good job, next year I need to finish my Nebosh course. I am really enjoying my time at NOSA and hopefully I will be taken on permanently at year end. If not then I will do as I always do and get back on the horse and find work, and it can be found, you just have to want to find it.

Today was father’s day so Tania, gabby and I went to St Georges Park to see the stalls and go into the fan park; Gabby Ryan and I are going tonight to watch Brazil against Ivory Coast. What a great day in PE weather is awesome and we had a lekker stroll at the beach and just chilled. .

I have friends in high places, my friend from Clarens Mr. Rolf Schlub knows Mr. Sepp Blatter, here is a picture of them together

(No Pun intended)

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"


Well that’s about it for this week.

Ciao

The Village idiot.

"I am 2010"

This week I have been like a kid waiting for Christmas, counting the sleeps to the start of the SWC. Watching teams arrive on TV and seeing the increasing number of people starting to feel it I have to say has given me goose bumps. I have heard some people say that the SWC is not that big a deal, so what “blah blah blah”.

Well let me tell you that it is a big deal, there are 195 countries in the World and with the 2010 tournament there have been 19 tournaments from 1930 (missing out 1942 and 1946 for obvious reasons). 17 countries have hosted the tournament (Italy and Germany have both hosted it twice) and now we are one of them, the second biggest sports event in the world is being hosted in my country, “that is just FRIKKEN AWESOME”.

Monday and Tuesday I was really starting to feel the vibe but it was not until Wednesday when my sister called me from Sandton and left me a message that said. “I am part of history” and then all I heard was noise from the thousands of people that had gathered and at noon opened up wit vuvuzela’s and song to show their support for Bafana and the country. In Port Elizabeth the area I work in was shaken awake with the sound of vuvuzela’s and car horns, it was awesome to hear. Can you believe on news 24 there are some people saying that the team should not have been on the bus parading like that because they have not won anything. I disagree they have won the support of South Africa and to me it was only right that they acknowledged that support.

Thursday was like when I was a kid, the day before Christmas, I would be excited and hardly able to contain myself for the next day, as you knew it would be a happy occasion, you would receive toys and be with your family and share in a lekker day.

Friday was a really proud moment for me to sit and watch the opening ceremony and to know that this great country of ours is hosting the top 32 countries in the world and that Billions of people are watching from all over the world. Our offices closed early and even staff that in the past would not have supported Bafana Bafana got in the mood, buying SA shirts and really soaking in the whole event.

Bafana did us proud in the opening game and should have won, but if you had of said 1 years ago we would be leading Mexico with 11 minutes to go and that we would draw the opening game then I believe many would have carted you off to the loony bin. Even my wife who is generally not that enamoured with sports was shouting for the boys and enjoying the moment. Was a good result for us that France and Uruguay drew 0/0 in their match.

Not only can “I FEEL IT”, I have EXPERIENCED IT, I have attended a SWC match in my own country and I cannot tell you how proud that made me feel, My wife, my brother in law and 8 other work colleagues watched the Greece vs. South Korea game (yeah not the best 2 teams in the world) but it was chance for us to savour a SWC game in our own city, “when will we ever get the chance again”?. The stadium was 3 quarters full (this was never going to be a sold out game, but what an atmosphere, the people where awesome, I now can boast that I started a Mexican wave in a World Cup stadium (“Frikken Awesome”) Must say did not see many people Diski dancing.

I have to say to all those naysayers from within this country as well as overseas that said we would not be able to host this event and that it would be a total failiure. The park and ride was well organised, the people on the bus awesome, the stadium staff and the entrance procedures flawless. I was duly impressed. The only dark cloud over the whole event was the cost of food and beer at the stadium, R30.00 for a 475ml Budweiser (it tastes like pee, actually watered down pee) R30.00 for a sandwich, R20 00 for an ice cream. I have tickets for the Q final in PE and I will be eating and drinking before I get to the stadium.

So what else has happened this week?

I joined facebook……”yeah finally”, not sure how I feel about it at the moment, what is awesome however is the amount of people that (I actually know) that want to me my friend, so that is nice. I think the first comment I made on facebook however pissed my brother in law off on the island. “Ah well that’s life I suppose”

I hear that the SA brigade all over the world (you can bet the ones that also said we could never do it) overseas are also “feeling it” by wearing Bafana jearsys and blowing vuvuzela’s ……..I have news for you all, You can only feel it if you’re here, because the SWC is not being held in Australia, Dubia, England, New Zealand or Canada, there is no ways that you can experience what we are feeling and experiencing over the TV, internet or on facebook…………just cant happen. I suppose its times like theses that many an ex - pat get homesick and long for the sun, blue skies and incredible diversity of the Rainbow nation.

I am going to be writing a Blog for an ex-pat magazine to see how many of the “We love SA but not enough to actually make a contribution brigade” I can piss off (hopefully lots) thinking for a name for it came up with a few

Proudly South African (and actually live in the country)

Manuscripts of a Moron (that’s a suggestion from my brother in law, "thanks bro, really appreciate the kind words")

Thanks for leaving (we don’t actually need you)

My book “The Clarens Chronicles” is at the publisher so soon I will have a book published with my name on it , part one successful, next part is to sell it (so please help and buy one)

My sister was on the Gautrain on Friday (another SA success story) and said it was awesome.

Got a few photos from Martie in Clarens that showed a whole lot of people doing the Diski dance on the square in Clarens and at the Kgubestwana hall for


Sports for the week

Did you see that attempt at stopping a low bouncing ball by the Pom goalkeeper that gifted the USA with a goal and a 1 all draw, I wonder if he will get another game – I think he was a bit green about the ears!! “Well done USA” I do not want the Poms to win the World Cup in South Africa, that would suck big time, may make certain family members happy if they do, but definitely not me. (They can’t anyway as only teams they have with the majority other countries players in them seem to do well……….such as cricket)

I missed the Bok vs France game but the score was good and perhaps an indication as to how strong our Rugby is at the moment. Australia beat England 27 – 17 (not a good weekend for the island dwellers) and New Zealand crushed the Irish 66-28.

F1 this weekend is in Canada with Hamilton and Webber on Pole followed by Vettel and Alonso, my man Schummie is on the 7th grid.

Well that’s about it for this week so enjoy the SWC, Wednesday I will be at the fan park at St Georges park to watch SA play Uruguay, that should be a great evening feeling the World Cup actually in South Africa.

Ciao
The Village idiot.

PS: check the size of this spider that I found on our bedroom curtains the other night.

A small village with a massive heart

This initial info is from Martie a friend from Clarens who with the Engel Volkers team as well as a number of volunteers in Clarens have shown again what a Huge heart and a great community Clarens is Wow guys I am proud that I know you guys and while I may be in Port Elizabeth my thoughts are with you in their initiative. “Well done”

SOCCER IN CLARENS

We are absolutely stunned by the overwhelming people in this small village of Clarens. No big city can offer the spirit of this place! People are excited about the Kopano effort and are ordering the yellow Kopano jackets. We are now challenged with the fact that the number of jackets that we have ordered may be too few. Please get your orders to us as soon as possible as the jackets are being delivered this Friday the 4th of June.
This week we have graciously received:
300 metres of yellow fabric from Jeanette van der Merwe for the yellow flags for town
About 50 tennis balls from the Tennis Club. Thanks guys!
More shade cloth for the soccer posts from Bana Bahlokong
More netball and soccer balls from Laura Boland
Coen Pretorius and Sakkie van den Berg made the big screen and Dick Meyer spray painted the screen. Skills for Africa boys made soccer and netball poles
Orpa Olivier – R500 and Sunnyside Guest farm –R500
Clarens Brewery-R1000 and Rob and Mandy Prior – R1500
Country Mart – R1000
Clarens Interiors – R500 and from Old Mill Bottlestore a R1000,00

We had our fourth practice of the Soccer Diski Dance on the square this Friday and this time there were 220 people. Christine Walwyn was the oldest member of the community to attend along with many different families - moms and dads and all the kiddies. We had our first big screen event on Thursday the 27th of May which was supported by 150 people.
Our appeal to you is:

Get the CD with the Diski Dance for R10,00 at the Engel&Völkers office. Learn the dance and come to the next session at 16h30 Friday on the square. The practice starts promptly at 16h30 and ends at 17h00.

Order your yellow windbreaker jacket for R160,00 and sponsor your staff too. Contact us to get your order. Our jacket is warmer and will also serve the purpose of marking you out as being part of our united support for the Soccer World Cup 2010. The jackets will arrive next Friday, 4 June 2010. No more jackets will be available after that. Beanies and scarves are available to order for R40,00 a beanie and R60,00 a scarf. These are made of a very high quality fleecy fabric with the Clarens logo on them.
Sponsor a few of the 3000 kids with a yellow beanie. We still need R30 000,00 for this.
We are in desperate need of the following: whistles, stopwatches, buckets, measuring cups, cold drink containers, polystyrene cups, art paint, A4 paper, face paint, crayons, tennis balls, mini soccer balls (hand ball), cold drink, sweeties and oranges.

Contact the following people: Ds. Sakkie van den Berg 0726060213,
Martie du Plessis 082 5741433, Kobus Basson 0828978325 and Meschak Mpahang: (Sau):073 841 4798

Was in Jozi on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and you can keep that place, apart from it having my family there I think that it’s a “kak plek” (for those Pommies out there its not a nice place) you may as well go live in the UK, oh silly me, many have already done that. Walls are 16 foot high with razor wire, people live like prisoners, I saw no scooters up there, PE has thousands, the only really cool thing I saw was the road from Edenvale to the airport (approx 5-6kms) that is lined with hundreds of flags, it’s an awesome sight.

Port Elizabeth has the biggest South African flag in SA at present, its situated on the Donkin reserve and is 8 x 12 square meters, we will also have the biggest screen for a fan park at 75 square meters, they are busy setting it up at the moment, cannot wait to go and watch matches there.

Face book In Pakistan is apparently banned or in the process of being banned, I would have thought in Pakistan it would have been called No face book anyway as most of the lady users would not have been able to put there picture up anyway. Can you imagine the status info on people pages. “Don’t children just Blow up so quickly” “My husband has an explosive temper”, “Really feel sexy today, changed my contacts”

The SWC is now only 5 sleeps (actual games starting, don’t count a concert as the SWC), Friday is the Bafana game and opening ceremony and Saturday I will be at the stadium with Tania, Ryan and the NOSA family to watch a SWC game in my own country, “who would have ever thought that SA would be hosting the SWC “? Its AWESOME and feel sorry for all the ex-pats out there who are not part of this history, they may be wearing shirts and watching from afar, but they will not be able to say “I WAS THERE TO FEEL 2010” Cars in PE are flying flags, people are wearing soccer shirts, there is a warm fuzzy feeling of unity at the moment, hopefully we can keep that going after the SWC.

Ironic that to date the biggest balls up to date regards the SWC have been the two times they opened the tickets to the public and the computer systems have crashed, this South Africa has nothing to do with as is controlled by FIFA and administered by a Pommie company (and I thought that everything in the UK was better than SA, obviously not!). as from Thursday SA will have a new President, albeit an interim one, but Sepp Blatter will be I charge and the interim government of FIFA will be in charge

Next week on Tuesday and Wednesday that are expecting 100 000 visitors to arrive in the country, so is you see a stranger say Hi and show them we are the best country in the world. “Make the circle bigger”

Got a GPS for my scooter this week, was not expensive, just a little cumbersome, but I am sure I will get used to it.

Got a picture of the biggest Vuvuzela that is in Cape town and will be blown every time a goal is scored in the SWC, its been erected on the end of an old highway, pretty awesome and I am sure will make a BIG noise.

Taxi drivers in PE are on the whole not that bad, but on Wednesday on the way back from work with Ryan on the back of the scooter, “yep no cars for us to get to work” we can only afford scooters. Anyway nearly taken out by a taxi that did not see us, so after I gave the gent (and I use that term loosely) a large chunk of my mind and pulled off another mentally challenged resident tried the same with his taxi, this gent however better watch his rear view mirrors as he was nasty and made certain indications as to what he would like to do to me as he drove past. (So you see things are not always 100% in the country, but at least we talk about them)

Have you noticed that after all the commotion from the Ventersdorp ‘we love SA” brigade about revenge, the country would burn, how ET was the man etc etc since it was revealed that he may have had a liking for dark chocolate and boys at that, there has not been a peep out of them. (Why so quiet troglodytes??). I was told that ET did in fact have the nick name “Ruiter in Swart” (rider in black) or was that “Die Swart ruiter” (the black rider).

My book should be published in a short while so PLEASE buy a copy so I can say I have sold at least 10. It’s at the publisher at the moment o in a couple of weeks it should be ready to sell. I am going to look for outlets in Clarens to sell for me as it will be a great book for visitors to the area and has lots of interesting info. The book is called “The Clarens Chronicles”

Work is great, challenging but I am really enjoying it, the office has got such talented people in it that the standards are high and that makes for me wanting to achieve more than just the pass levels for courses. On Friday I present my first ever course (by my lonesome) was great, know I can (and will get better) especially with the support of the people in the office. Whatever happens at the end of the 6 months I know that I will have come along way over a short period and can only thank Ryan, Theuns, Mike and the team at NOSA for that.

Sports for the week
Proteas made it 7 games in a row against the Rasta boys and hopefully they will take that form into the test series
Boks narrowly beat the Welsh 34 to 31 on Saturday, Wales are always a hard team, but the ref was also kinda on the Welsh side, did you see all those “we love SA but not enough to live in the country supporters” ?
Bafana won 1/0 against Denmark (number 36 in the World) yesterday, well done boys, know you will make us proud in the SWC

So that’s about it for this week, be good and have an awesome week and remember that “Fear is temporary, Regret is forever”

Ciao
The Village idiot.

The Vuvuzela "Love it or Hate it"

The Vuvuzela

Love it or hate it

There is no middle ground

Mention the word vuvuzela and you either get a broad smile and a thumbs up or a barrage of abuse about how noisy it is or that it should be banned from all sports fields and public places.

The vuvuzela was described by a overseas newspaper just prior to the Confederations Cup [a small tournament between continental champions that functions as a World Cup warm-up] as "a unique brightly coloured elongated trumpet that makes a sound like a herd of elephants approaching", the vuvuzela has become the biggest controversy at this summer's Confederations Cup

South African Fans argue that it is an essential way to express their national identity. But many players and TV commentators have called for it to be banned at the World Cup. Liverpool's Xabi Alonso, playing for Spain in the current tournament, said: "They make a terrible noise and it's not a good idea to have them on sale outside the grounds. Here's a piece of advice for FIFA (football's world governing body) - try to ban them." (But let’s remember that European soccer players are such babies)

Perhaps for those that have not heard of or seen a Vuvuzela before, I should give a brief explanation of what we are actually talking about.

The Vuvuzela is a plastic horn that you blow through, its, approximately one metre in length and most commonly blown by fans at football matches in South Africa, although recently it could be heard in two Super 14 matches held at Orlando stadium, Soweto. The origin of the name is not clear some saying it originates from the Zulu for “making noise,” from the “vuvu” sound it makes, or from township slang related to the word for “shower.”

Even the South African Association of Audiology have gotten in on the act and have warned that vuvuzelas can damage hearing with a recent article in a Health and Safety magazine stating that earplugs should be handed out at all stadiums as the legal DBI is 85 and vuvuzela’s can reach up to 140. South African supporters however are sticking to their horns with one fan voicing his opinion by saying. "This is our voice. We sing through it. It makes me feel the game."

While researching the history of the Vuvuzela I came across this interesting information. The first popular noisemaker in football — and one that probably made a sound to make even a vuvuzela recoil……….was the wooden rattle in Britain. ( I had one and got my finger caught in it at Wembley stadium while watching the amateur cup final there many moons ago) Appearing as early as 1900, the rattle became the ever-present din at football matches in Britain after the First World War. The Rattles had bee popular during the war as a way of warning people of gas attacks, with their simple noise making capacity saved many lives. Holding the handle and spinning the rattle made a loud clacking noise, and this was soon transported to the terraces. The rattle eventually fell out of favour because of its noise and fans started to become annoyed with the noise (could this have been one of the root causes of soccer hooliganism in the UK ?). The vuvuzela is a recent addition to the game In South Africa, although some fans argue that its roots are steeped in African tradition and can be traced back to when the Kudu Horn was blown to summon villagers to meetings.”

The vuvuzela probably made its first appearance 1992, being used at South African football matches, by supporters of AmaZulu F.C. Supporters made the horns out of discarded tin cans, and the use spread wildly, to the joy of many and the irritation of some. It was however not until the 2000’s and with South Africa deciding to bid for the 2010 World Cup on the cards that the little known vuvuzela was thrust into the spotlight and become a fixture at local soccer matches.

The vuvuzela became a mass produced commercialized phenomenon, this being possible from a grant given by SAB Miller (the giant South African brewer) to Neil van Schalkwyk’s company Masincedane Sport in 2001 and with the help of a plastics factory they began to mass produce a cheap plastic version. By 2005 the commercial potential of the horn was clear and that by 2010 it would be Football supporters “weapon of choice” In 2008, FIFA ruled that vuvuzela’s would be allowed in stadiums for the 2010 World Cup. The debate for FIFA was not that it made a noise but rather that it would be used by companies to have an advertising presence at the game or even as a weapon.

Is its sound melodious? To some its sound has been described as

• A monotonous swarm of bees.
• That giant swarm of insects
• The most annoying noisemaker
• Satan’s instrument
• Annoying and distracting

But to others like Mzion Mofokeng it has a place in the sports arena “When we started the vuvuzela, there was so much sadness in our country in those years and it brought so much joy. All of a sudden people would go to the stadiums because of this instrument that was able to get fans on their feet and start cheering. For a few hours, they would forget about the reality in our society and enjoy the sound.

Perhaps the biggest problem regards the vuvuzela is not the noise per say but the length of time that it is actually blown during the game, most fans in other countries correlate their noise to what's going on, on the pitch, but it is typical in South Africa for fans to blow the horn for the entire match. Not surprisingly, the monotone sound becomes far more grating in 45-minute doses.

Be that as it may the vuvuzela is here to stay we will be hearing it during all the 64 world cup games and I would like to leave you with these words from South Africa’s temporary President Mr, Sepp Blatter of the “Interim Government of FIFA”. “I always said that when we go to South Africa, it is Africa. It's not Western Europe. It's noisy; it's energy, rhythm, music, dance, drums. This is Africa. We have to adapt a little. “You said it Mr. President”

While Sepp has indicated that the vuvuzela will be allowed to be used in stadiums during the SWC there has been debate over the last few days that it may in fact be banned. It seems that after the opening game FIFA will decide on whether or not to ban the vuvuzela outright or to hand out ear protection to fans who want it at the games. Hopefully they go for the second option as I believe that there will be a riot of they decide on banning them.

Latest news that I read yesterday (1/6/2010)

FIFA are looking into legal implications of a recent study that showed the noise from the vuvuzela could impair hearing; a spokesman said “we may have to supply earplugs at stadiums”

Some other uses that I have thought of that you could use a Vuvuzela for after the world cup.

1) Walking stick

2) Petrol Funnel

3) Hearing aid

4) Large straw

5) Baseball bat

6) For Star war fans stick in a torch and it can be used as a “Lite saber”

7) Really crap telescope

8) Plastic flower vase.

9) Beer Funnel

Any other ideas??

Ciao

The Village idiot