“Frikken large ones” would be my
answer, but at Nkandla it would be pick up a bucket and “fillit” up from the
pool and “frow” it on the fire. Of all the excuses that Publics work Minister
Thulas Nxesi gave at a press briefing
yesterday (19/12/2013) as to the 208
million rand upgrades to JZ’s Nkandla homestead this would be my favourite,
although having to build an expensive path because of high heels comes a close
second (Didn’t know that JZ was a cross dresser, but as they say in the classics you learn
something new every day) As I have said of the 10 explanations given my
favourite is the reason they put in a swimming pool is that due to the
positioning of Nkandla and the fact that no fire station is situated within a reasonable distance from Nkandla.
1) National police commissioner Riah
Phiyega explained that
those who grew up in rural areas knew that “there are no fire extinguishers or
fire brigades”.
She said the “best we know is to take a bucket,
dip it in water and throw it on the fire”.
General Vijay Ramlakan, the retired
surgeon-general who represented the defence force, confirmed that there was
“what is referred to in the media” as a swimming pool, but that the department
of defence’s original request had been “translated by public works engineers
into what is there”.
They did not mention why a
multi-million R gym had been built as part of the security upgrades (that by
the way did not cost the tax payer anything, so that begs the question who paid
for it ?) my answer to the press and the thousands upon thousands of pissed off
South African Tax payers would be the following.
“Due to the fact that many people
call our President a fat cat we thought that we should let him gym to get rid
of that perception, however it will also mean that if the chicken coop, new
kraal, air-conditioning, swimming pool or new paving does not keep the tsoties
away or fires from bennnning the house, then he will be fit enough to be able
to run away, as long as he is not wearing high heels, or run to the pool with a
bucket and put out the fire”……………..
I know many are going to be upset
with me, but I am just so happy that they have eventually buried Nelson
Mandela……………..it was seriously getting to much with the outside world basically
not existing from the day after he died.………… then of course are all those
expats that basically left SA due to the fact that the ANC with Nelson Mandela
as its leader came into power and decided to pack their bags ……………Now all of a
sudden he is their saint and thousands have his face as their FB or BBM etc
picture. Don’t get me wrong he did some great things but we also need to
remember about the many thousands of other ordinary South Africans (Black and
white) who have died at the hands of animals who know that if they do get
caught the chances of a hefty sentence are minimum and if they do go to jail
the chances of escaping or pretending to be ill and getting early parole are
good .
One also has to laugh at the many
African politicians who harped on about Madiba’s legacy of forgiveness, humanity,
compassion, humility etc etc but they themselves are don’t live up to those
same standards or ideals.
So here is a question for you………………..
“Has convenience made things inconvenient”? Let’s look at that statement for a
moment and dwell upon it while I go make myself a cup of coffee (Ok open a
Millers).
Not too long ago I decided that I
needed a McDonalds real bad (I know, I must have been really hungry) so popped
into the nearest one, there was a lengthy queue at the drive thru so I decided
to go inside order and eat which I did. As we know the service at McDonalds is
not the fastest, in fact they manage to put a whole new meaning into “fast
food” even so I must have been about 10 – 12 minutes and when I walked out cars that had been in the back of the
queue had not yet reached the window to receive their orders. Now I may be
wrong (and I often R) but I thought the whole point of the drive thru was to
provide quick takeaway food for those in a hurry?
I think that in this day and age
we have become so attached to the idea of convenience that we will put up with
inconvenience to achieve it. We seem to be surrounded with items that do things
for us, automatic dog and cat food dispensers, electric juicers, tin openers,
fridges that automatically make ice cubes, electric windows and my
favourite disposable toothbrushes that have the toothpaste already squeezed on
it………………I mean how lazy is that ?
Automatic gates and garage doors
are my favourite, it’s amazing how many people have them and they don’t work properly
or decide not to work at all. It all seems great as you swing into the drive or
drive towards the garage and as you press the button of the remote control it
either opens and closes as it’s supposed to or the gate half opens and you
press the button a few more times and the gate goes back to the start and then
gets stuck halfway which means that you need to get out of the car and hand
crank the gate open, which usually entails you having to crawl on all fours.
With automatic Car doors they will open as
expected or slow down just a little which will mean that you will take the
bottom panel off the door. They can also have a mind of their own and will only
decide to close if there is a chance that it can crush the gardener or one of
the kids bikes. You then get up on a
chair and try to repair the motor with either a screwdriver a hammer or in my
case both. You then call in the garage
door or gate motor repairman who takes
his holidays in the Bahamas, so while we buy gadgets to make our lives more convenient
what they n fact do is add expense and complications to our lives. Is it a
coincidence that the first syllable of convenience is Con ??.................I
think not.
Seems that Steef “I have a
million kids” Hofmeyer and Jooooolius “I wish I had a million brain cells”
Malema were both arrested for speeding but Malema got pissed off because he was
given a bigger bail amount. Malema was released on R5 000 bail after being
arrested doing 215 in a 12o zone while Hofmeyer was released on R500 bail for
doing 175 in a 120 zone. “Keep the assholes in jail for all I care”……………seems
that with death of Paul Walker they are looking for new talent for the movie
Franchise , Steve and Jooolias may just fit the bill………..they may however need
to change the title as the poster says to “The Fat and The Furious”.
Was at a local
Musica store on Friday (yep Xmas shopping) and imagine my surprise when I see
that Vinyl is making a comeback. The ACDC albums of which I have the originals
are going for R269 each.
Expecting family from the UK to
arrive today, Nicole, Doug, Amber and newest addition Lexi have been visiting
Doug’s dad and brother who still live in SA and they will then spend time with
us and Nicoles dad and brother and his family here in PE. So the house is going
to be busy for a while, especially Xmas day when we will have 15 adults’ kids
and a baby running around for Xmas day Lunch. So let’s hope that the weather is
good. I know that Tania can’t wait to see her sister and hold her Niece Lexi
for the first time………………..”yeah ok I am also looking forward to meeting my Niece
for the first time as well”
Today is the last day of the
first test against India and SA need 261 runs with 6 wickets in hand, let’s
hope that we can do it , but chasing a world record last innings score of 458
to win. Morne Steyn was all full of himself prior to start of the test as to
how the Indian batting line up was suspect and that the SA bowlers would rip
into them, well let’s hope those words don’t come back and bite him on the ass…………….Kallis
was given out LBW and he def had an inside edge, let’s hope that it’s not an
expensive mistake from the umpires.
Well this will probably be the
last post for this year, I have been on and off this year regards posts, to be
honest for a while have not really felt like writing, but have also have been
busy with other things as well. Let’s see what next year brings.
Do yourself a favour sit down and
list all the great things that you did or happened to you in 2013. I did and
had a pretty good year. We tend to remember the kak (shit to non-South African
readers) that happens and not the good. I will tell you mine in the first Blog
of 2014.
So all that is left to say is
Merry Christmas (yep I say Christmas, not Festive season or HAPPY HOLIDAYS like
my politically don’t want to piss off the minorities friends tend to say ) to
you and your loved ones and I wish you all a 2014 that is everything you hope
for.
Ciao
SPAD