Take a happy pill

God forbid that Zapiro drew a cartoon with the prophet Mohamed in it that offended a number of local Muslims who’s first reaction is “Blow them Up, Jihad, lets kill all the infidels”, I don’t see Christians stating a war because of a cartoon about Jesus, Yes get upset , tell the newspaper that you are not happy, but don’t make threats, Militants of any religion are dangerous but it sees to be Muslims that have the worst sense of humour when it comes to anything about their religion. There is definitely a double standard for Muslims in other countries as against other religions that want to establish themselves in Muslim countries.

Muslims demand that their laws, religions and customs are allowed in other non-Muslim countries, that Sheira law is what they be judged on and a mosque be built on just about every street corner, but just you try and be a Christian in a Muslim country and see what happens to you, churches are not allowed, religious freedom is banned and Gid forbid you should mention the prophet Mohamed in the incorrect context. I understand that you are serious about your religion but if you live in a foreign country either abide by there rules or go live in one of you Shithole countries that seem to be the strongholds of extremist Muslims. In fact your just like mad Bob and his ilk that decry the west and all that it stands for but sends his kids to European schools, wears suits drives in fancy cars and has businesses in Europe.

So JM is now singing Kiss the Boer, Kiss the farmer, seems that anger management lessons are paying off………..not for long a leopard cannot change its spots, seems that he wants the ANC and the ZANU PF youth to work with each other as he has stated there are now 350 000 people on farms that were once only lived on by a handful of white farmers. This may be so genius but those 350 000 have eaten every twig and leaf and do not produce, so what’s the use of having them on the land??

So apart from traffic problems at the semi final-predictions from the Ventersdorp Blue Bulls supporters club that murder and mayhem would fall upon all whites that ventured into the area, turned out to be crap, “as I knew it would”. From the reports I read it was an awesome day and an experience that many will cherish. That stadium was used by students in the 1976 riots and 34 years later its being used to bring people together, Awesome This weekends S14 final was even better with the bulls deservedly winning their 3rd Final in 4 years. The shebeens were full with white and black supporters and with less than 2 weeks to go before the Start of the SWC there seems to be a little more unity in the country, which is great.

I don’t know if I should be telling you this but Gabby (my daughter) now has a friend (a boy) that has become more than a friend. His name is “wait for it” Stephen, so the lad cannot be that bad. I have met him briefly, but he still has to get passed the interview with Ryan and myself, now that’s going to be fun.

Port Elizabeth aquarium needs R500 000 to fix, revenue has dropped by more than 50% the last year and a bit because it was decided to re-locate the dolphins to Asia, that’s what people went to see, not a few penguins and a couple of fur seals. The Museum at Bay world is not bad, but the aquarium does need some serious TLC, pity that municipalities allow facilities that are tourist attractions to fall to pieces.

Strike action in SA just prior to the SWC is now starting to pee me off, I mean who is next the SWC volunteers (would not put it past them)

My old village is quiet at the moment apart from the wheel nuts from a friends car being loosened and him crashing into the post office as well as Godfrey being on the prowl again for a single lady there seems to be the same old Clarens politics, with that person not talking to that one and being upset if you speak to another person (a bit like nursery school used to be). Spoke to Kelvin (owner of friends), had a long Skype session with Mark on Friday was great. I must actually congratulate Player 24 and Martie as well as the Clarens team that have been putting together a plan for the village to all celebrate the SWC from teaching people to do the Diski dance on the square to getting businesses in the village to buy SWC jackets and arranging donations from the locals (with a new resident donating R10 000, well done) so that all the kids in Kgubestwana get a SWC beanie for winter..

Doug My Brother in law started work on Tuesday at his new job, he is now an accounts manager for a firm that services the parking industry in London, “yes they have a parking industry”, here we have the ex Super Race as car guards. Got a Lekker company car, A Nissan Quashqi/Qhuasaqi oh whatever, but very nice, “almost worth not working for 8 months heh Doug” I know how much you like fancy cars, Ah well suppose will just have to be happy with my Old Kia and Big Boy scooter. Congrats Doug keep hold of that Job as the Island is in for a rocky run, regards the economy according to those in the know. Seems even the queen (no not Elton John, Lizzy) is concerned as you can see from this small insert from News 24.
London - Queen Elizabeth II delivered a sombre message of austerity on Tuesday in a speech outlining the plans of the new coalition government, which include capping non-European immigration and holding a referendum on changes to the centuries-old political system. The queen wore a crown studded with 2 000 diamonds for an event featuring cavalry, Yeoman warders and glittering carriages - including a horse-drawn one especially set aside to ferry the Imperial State Crown to Parliament.

“Now the part that I like is the old biddy is telling her subjects to pull in the old belt and to suck in the economic hurt wearing a Crown that has more diamonds in it than clever people actually living on the island (2000 to be exact). Also what does she mean by Non-European? Is she saying that the island will no longer take people of a darker hue only or people that are not European, meaning Africans, Asians and the Scots? (They have to keep taking South Africans and Irish, so there teams can win). But if they stop taking on the flotsam from the rest of the world who will work? Surely that would mean those lazy gits that are on the dole may have to get off there beer guzzling, chain smoking asses and actually earn a living, if that happens people now doing the work that most Poms don’t want to or cant do will have to return to the land/s where they where born (don’t see that happening as then the mediocre Aussies, South Africans, Zimbabweans etc who scrounge off the system, free babies, free health, subsidized education etc etc may also have to work for a living when they get home)

Had a couple of e-mails asking me to be the bigger person and congratulate the English team for winning the T20 World Cup, so I have decided to swallow my pride and here is a picture that says it best.

Fly up to Gauteng today (Sunday) Ryan and I will be presenting environmental play for Aspen in Gauteng and also 1 show for our head office, will see my folks so that’s great, cannot remember the last time I was on an airplane, possibly when I went to the States in 1995…..looking forward to it, at least wont be any ash problems due to volcanic activity.

Super 14 final was as I have already mentioned AWESOME great to see that the Locals of Orlando have embraced the occasion once again and that The Bulls decided that the Cheerleaders needed to represent the local residents as well, so a new look Blue Bulls Babe outfit was on duty for the day. My only problem about the game is that I was not at Friends in Clarens with the Supporters club shouting the odds and casing total Mayhem.

Think I have told you before about the donkey carts that drive on the main roads in PE, may have even posted a photos, the other day Gabby and I where in a Donley cart traffic jam, gets frustrating, but the donkey’s are cute

Crafty Stuff (my wife’s Internet business) really seems to be taking off, and I know that sometimes she really does not feel that Gabby or I appreciate either her or that she id running a business, So Tania I Love you and am soooooo proud of what you have and what you are going to achieve with Crafty stuff.

A joke for this week that has been adapted from the one sent to me by a friend on the Island (yes believe it or not there is actually 1 person on that windswept, dull piece of rock that does keep in contact with me)

“Sipho was doing 120kms an hour in his Combi down the N1 when a cop pulls him over “what’s up” he ask Sipho ? The limit is 80 on this part of the highway. “Eish” says Sipho as he turns his head to the guys in the back “Five of you will have to get out”

A good environ website that Tania found this week is http://www.greentimes.co.za/ really a great site with loads of useful hints and tips on how you can go green.

Well that’s about it for this week

Ciao

The Village Idiot

The Vuvuzela "Love it or Hate it"

Mention the word vuvuzela and you either get a broad smile and a thumbs up or a barrage of abuse about how noisy it is or that it should be banned from all sports fields and public places.

The vuvuzela was described by a overseas newspaper just prior to the Confederations Cup [a small tournament between continental champions that functions as a World Cup warm-up] as "a unique brightly coloured elongated trumpet that makes a sound like a herd of elephants approaching", the vuvuzela has become the biggest controversy at this summer's Confederations Cup
South African Fans argue that it is an essential way to express their national identity. But many players and TV commentators have called for it to be banned at the World Cup. Liverpool's Xabi Alonso, playing for Spain in the current tournament, said: "They make a terrible noise and it's not a good idea to have them on sale outside the grounds. Here's a piece of advice for FIFA (football's world governing body) - try to ban them."

(but then again European soccer players are such babies)

Perhaps for those that have not heard of or seen a Vuvuzela before, I should give a brief explanation of what we are actually talking about.

The Vuvuzela is a plastic horn that you blow through, its, approximately one metre in length and most commonly blown by fans at football matches in South Africa, although recently it could be heard in two Super 14 matches held at Orlando stadium, Soweto. The origin of the name is not clear some saying it originates from the Zulu for “making noise,” from the “vuvu” sound it makes, or from township slang related to the word for “shower.”
Even the South African Association of Audiology have gotten in on the act and have warned that vuvuzelas can damage hearing with a recent article in a Health and Safety magazine stating that earplugs should be handed out at all stadiums as the legal DBI is 85 and vuvuzela’s can reach up to 140. South African supporters however are sticking to their horns with one fan voicing his opinion by saying. "This is our voice. We sing through it. It makes me feel the game."

While researching the history of the Vuvuzela I came across this interesting information. The first popular noisemaker in football — and one that probably made a sound to make even a vuvuzela recoil……….was the wooden rattle in Britain. ( I had one and got my finger caught in it at Wembley stadium while watching the amateur cup final there many moons ago) Appearing as early as 1900, the rattle became the ever-present din at football matches in Britain after the First World War. The Rattles had bee popular during the war as a way of warning people of gas attacks, with their simple noise making capacity saved many lives. Holding the handle and spinning the rattle made a loud clacking noise, and this was soon transported to the terraces. The rattle eventually fell out of favour because of its noise and fans started to become annoyed with the noise (could this have been one of the root causes of soccer hooliganism in the UK ?). The vuvuzela is a recent addition to the game In South Africa, although some fans argue that its roots are steeped in African tradition and can be traced back to when the Kudu Horn was blown summon villagers to meetings.”

The vuvuzela probably made its first appearance 1992, being used at South African football matches, by supporters of AmaZulu F.C. Supporters made the horns out of discarded tin cans, and the use spread wildly, to the joy of many and the irritation of some. It was however not until the 2000’s and with South Africa deciding to bid for the 2010 World Cup on the cards that the ?? vuvuzela was thrust into the spotlight and became a mass produced and mass commercialised

the vuvuzela became a mass produced commercialised phenomenon, this being possible from a grant given by SAB Miller (the giant South African brewer) to Neil van Schalkwyk’s company Masincedane Sport in 2001 and with the help of a plastics factory they began to mass produce a cheap plastic version. By 2005 the commercial potential of the horn was clear and that by 2010 it would be Football supporters “weapon of choice” In 2008, FIFA ruled that vuvuzela’s would be allowed in stadiums for the 2010 World Cup. The debate for FIFA was not that it made a noise but rather that it would be used by companies to have an advertising presence at the game or even as a weapon.

Is its sound melodious? To some its sound has been described as
A monotonous swarm of bees.
That giant swarm of insects
The most annoying noisemaker
Satan’s instrument
Annoying and distracting

But to others like Mzion Mofokeng it has a place in the sports arena “When we started the vuvuzela, there was so much sadness in our country in those years and it brought so much joy. All of a sudden people would go to the stadiums because of this instrument that was able to get fans on their feet and start cheering. For a few hours, they would forget about the reality in our society and enjoy the sound.
Perhaps the biggest problem regards the vuvuzela is not the noise per say but the length of time that it is actually blown during the game, most fans in other countries correlate their noise to what's going on, on the pitch, but it is typical in South Africa for fans to blow the horn for the entire match. Not surprisingly, the monotone sound becomes far more grating in 45-minute doses.

Be that as it may the vuvuzela is here to stay we will be hearing it during all the 64 world cup games and I would like to leave you with these words from South Africa’s temporary President Mr, Sepp Blatter of the “Interim Government of FIFA”. “I always said that when we go to South Africa, it is Africa. It's not Western Europe. It's noisy, it's energy, rhythm, music, dance, drums. This is Africa. We have to adapt a little. “You said it Mr. President”

Some other uses that I have thought of that you could use a Vuvuzela for
1) Walking stick
2) Petrol Funnel
3) Hearing aid
4) Large straw
5) Baseball bat
6) For Star war fans stick in a torch and it can be used as a “Lite saber”

7) really crap telescope
Any other ideas ??

So where did I go wrong?

Last Saturday I went to 3 birthday parties, (no I am not that popular) I helped Keith to deliver 3 x jumping castles. 2 of them where up in Lovemore heights (just 1 of the Larney areas in PE). What an eye opener and hence the title of this Blog. I am 47 years old, have worked bloody hard ( I still am) all of my life and while I have a home , car etc I have nowhere near what other people my age living in these areas have, So where did I go wrong? Did I take the wrong career path, have I got no head for business, Did I not have a wealthy dad, I am obviously not dark enough to take advantage of the BEE??. Some of you may be saying don’t be like that, be grateful for what you have (I am) but you have to wonder where (if your like me) we went wrong.

Clarens was full of wealthy people but in PE it seems that every second mommy is driving an upmarket SUV or sports car, so if they are driving that what is daddy driving? What type of job does he have to support a 4 million rand house, 2 cars, a boat, motorbike, jet ski’s, 3 kids in private schools etc etc ? Perhaps he owns his own business, perhaps he is a top accountant or even in the IT field, but surely PE can only have so many of those before saturation point takes hold?? As I have mentioned I am 47 years old, I have a job as a trainee (trainer/consultant) for a Health and Safety company (Please don’t get me wrong I really enjoy this job and have decided to change career paths, but still it wont bring me in millions when I am fully trained and at a decent level of competence) I live in a house that I consider to be nice, but to me cost a fortune and is probably worth one of the luxury upmarket Moms taxis. I suppose the saying “who said life was fair” comes to mind.

Some of you may remember the Taxi Boss neighbour that got shot dead, here is the newspaper article.

2 gun down controversial taxi boss in tavern

A controversial taxi boss of New Brighton near Port Elizabeth was shot dead in a tavern. The police’s Brigadier Marinda Mills said Melikeli Hani (47), was in the Sevens Tavern in Nibe Street, New Brighton, around 11pm last night when two armed men walked into the place. They approached Hani from different sides and both opened fire, hitting him several times. Hani was killed instantly. Mills said after the shooting, the two men left the tavern, but one of them was accidentally wounded during the shooting. His partner helped him to exit the tavern, but just outside the door he shot the wounded man in the head, killing him. He left the body at the premises while he escaped. Mills said it was not clear why he had shot his fellow assailant. Six other people were injured in the shooting and were taken to the Livingstone hospital for treatment. Mills did not have information about the severity of their injuries.

Police recovered two .38 revolvers at the scene. One has already been linked to a robbery in Cape Town. The other’s serial number was filed off and police were still trying to find out if it had previously been used to commit a crime. Twenty-one spent 9mm cartridges were also found at the scene. Mills said Hani was the chairman of the Border Alliance Taxi Association (BATA) and was on the forefront of taxi strikes against the Bus Rapid Transit system.

Police were investigating several cases against him, including one of attempted murder. He had previously been accused of murder but the case was withdrawn due to a lack of evidence. Mills said the police’s specialised investigation unit, the Hawks, was investigating Hani’s murder.Police were also monitoring the situation in the New Brighton area.

It was good to see so many of his P.D friends arriving with BMWX6’s top of the range Audi’s etc etc. Obviously they got on the BEE bandwagon. We woke up on Saturday morning with two stretch Limo’s one for the body the other for the family parked in the road outside our house as well as more traffic cops than I have seen in 4 months living in PE, not to mention the 300+ card carrying members of the SACP (South African Communist Party) yes our taxi boss was a communist…………….A rich communist but a communist nevertheless. Taking to a few of the mourners I learnt that this MR Hani was brother to Chris Hani shot in April 1993 by Clive Derby Lewis and a Polish dude who’s name eludes me at the moment A Huge “wake’ was held on Saturday for Mr Hani with local as well as national dignitaries attending and more freeloaders than you could throw karl Marx at. A open piece of ground at the bottom of our street had a huge marquee erected, caterers where hired and they really had a good send off for Mr Hani. “Only in Africa”…..thats why I love it here, every day is an adventure and a new learning experience. Tania made a comment that i bet he did not have a R50 00 a month funeral policy!!

I think that the PE traffic department must have hired more staff because in the last week there has been a sudden increase in the amount of traffic cop cars, roadblocks ect on the roads

Tania had crafty stuff information in the latest Essentials magazine (pages 111 and 112) I am so proud of her. Well done Tania.

Took a photo of this Trike at the local beachfront, has a V8 engine and is a Clutch plates delight.

Have you seen the new Wimpy advert on TV? If not look for it as it is BRILLIANT whoever came up with it is a genius. Also talking about adverts try this link for an Advert The village idiot and brother in law are in , using for PE advertising as well as in a TV advert for the World Cup (see stadium scene near end and look in middle for me and Ryan) Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX1AWtOKPtc

19 days and counting for the World Cup, PE is starting to get the “Gees”, Flags and banners going up, more and more flags on buildings and cars, people wearing football shirts on Fridays, dropped gabby at a movie on Friday night and the restaurants full of people wearing BAFANA BAFANA or South African shirts (Looks great).

I see some genius from BP has stated that catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico is not that bad (Tell that to the marine life and the people who depend on the water for their livelihood asshole) seems that up to 50 000 barrels of oil have been pumped into the sea daily since 22nd April. Oil has now hit the Louisiana coastline. The well was capped 2 days ago but aready they say that this spill is equal to 3 x Exxon Valdez. For those that don’t remember that in 1989 a oil tanker ran aground and dumped 250 000 barrels of oil polluting 2100 square kms of beaches and 28 000 square kms of ocean (was classed then as the biggest human made natural disaster) So well Done BP you no hold the record. DUE TO BP’s LACK OF CONCERN FOR ITS WORKERS (11 died when the rig blew up and sank) AND THE ENVIRONMENT. I FOR ONE WILL NOT BE BUYING ANY BP PRODUCTS. I KNOW I WONT MAKE A DENT IN THEIR 25 BILLION DOLLAR PROFITS BUT I WILL FEEL BETTER.

Sports roundup for this week is

The Proteas beat west Indies in 2 20/20 over games (why could they not do it in the recent T20 tournament)
The Proteas beat West Indies in the first of 5 50/50 games
Bulls beat Crusaders
Stormers beat Waratahs

Next Saturday will be an awesome day for SA, two teams, North vs South and in Soweto, its going to be a massive game, sure the Clarens Rugby supporters club will be out in full force at Friends, wish I could be there to join in the fun.

I was wondering is it bit early for Iceland volcano jokes? Should we wait a while for the dust to settle.

I will leave you with this “success does not come to you, you go to it”

Ciao

The Village Idiot

The H Manoevure

Well at least this time we didn’t have to wait until we got into the final before we choked, this time the Protea’s managed to choke before we got anywhere near the Semi’s or the Finals, yet another tournament and yet another disappointment (and people have the cheek to call Bafana Bafana kak). I blame it all on “Graeme “he cant do anything wrong so must be bonking the selectors wives” Smith, he is not a captains ass and to me is about as inspiring as watching paint dry. But he alone cannot take the blame, selection processes are not up to scratch and we are not using the correct players. Yes I am another armchair critic and wannabee coach, but even I can see that there seems to be a problem and if I can see it then surely the “experts” must also have inkling that there is something not right. But will things change?…….. probably not as Smith and a few of the older players seem to have a charmed life and while not suited to a specific form of the game they are still used and to my mind the detriment of the team. Unfortunately money and not Pride is what drives sportsmen and women these days.

So the island dwellers now have a government, seems they did not want us to send Julius to help while they where deciding…….youngest PM in 200 years. Hopefully he will be able to solve the islands problems, as they seem to have many (brushed under the carpet by labour perhaps?)

Talking about Julius he is going to the army for two weeks (I know thank God for the navy) don’t know why but apparently the ANC think it would be good for him, I can imagine him coming out a Full General and having been awarded a string of medals for bravery (Hints of IDI AMIN) well he is called KIDI AMIN. Also seems the ANC youth League have decided on a new chant to ensure that they keep themselves in the headlines and that is “One Penis , One Condom” seems that now JZ has smacked naughty JM on the “bottie” the petulant Youth league no longer think that its Cool to have sex with a number of women and then just have a shower (fully supported JZ in his rape trail) Now all of a SUDDEN FEEL IT SHOULD BE ONE BOYFRIEND ONE GIRLFRIEND and discouraging multiple sex partners and they say its not aimed at JZ or the fact he had the temerity to take South Africa’s biggest comedian to task………..”Pull the other one its got bells on it”

Doug, my brother in law had his b/day on Thursday (happy birthday) and got a job on Friday, he has been out of work for a while so must be a relief to have work. Even gets a company car………. Talk about falling with your ass in the butter. Anyway now they can start saving up for their next trip to SA (seems to take not so long for people in the UK to have the money to travel, as they all seem to be doing it on a regular basis, people I know in the UK seem to be able to fly over to SA and back at a moments notice, and that’s with only temp jobs or what we would class here in SA as low paying jobs.

A report came out in the UK (so they researched the info) that a person from UK that takes trips overseas has more of a chance of being hospitalized in Greece, Thailand or Egypt that he/she does in SA…………..These two photos were sent to me with the heading “A tale of two cities”. The top picture taken in Lahore Pakistan, the other taken in Dewsbury, England "its a funny world innit"

On Friday I presented my first training course (She representatives), Vusi trainer/consultant with NOSA was in the class and had to see if I was competent and sign me off so that I can present his course by myself. The good news is that I was signed off (the first of many that I will have to attend and then present). I have put and presented 30-60 minute presentations together and have taught maths to 13 year old kids for a couple of months, but I have to say this was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life (and that includes winning the Weakest link). Nearly 6 hours of constant talking and having to think ahead, anyone who thinks its easy should give it a try, I have a new found respect for anyone who stands up for long periods in front of students or audiences and imparts their knowledge to others

When I was finished I felt like had run a marathon, I was physically and mentally drained, my feet and back where sore, my throat was sore (and for those that know me, I can talk the hind leg of a donkey), Wow what a rollercoaster ride. Vusi was great, he tactfully stepped in when I was straying and answered a couple of questions for me that I was not to sure of. As I said I have many more courses to be signed off on, and no one said this was going to be a walk in the park, but it will be worth the effort, I am also extremely fortunate to have a team behind me at NOSA PE that are the best, I cannot even begin to explain the vibe and support from the Boss to the ladies in admin and marketing…………’Thanks guys it means much more than I think you all realise and its highly appreciated” Did I learn from the process? “Hell yeah”, I know what I am good at, but know what I need to practice and ensure that I am 150% competent with. 1 down ……………many to go.

Becky (my niece) had her appendix removed on Saturday, seems they where the size of a small pork sausage, from all accounts she was very brave and is recovering well. Becky the hard part is over now enjoy everyone spoiling you.

You may renmember a few Blogs back me telling you about a neighbour that is the local Taxi Boss and his house was rided by a SAP Swat team, well he was shot dead on Friday night. not sure of all the details but "if you live by the sword you dies by the sword"

Sports for the weekend
Bulls lost
Stormers won
Sharks won their last game of the season ending season that was not what they would have hoped for at the beginning of the season
Cheetahs also ended on a high
Lions lost their 13th game in a row, a new SA and Super 14 record
Proteas chocked. And hopefully SA B team do not win the final.

Days are getting fewer for the start of the SWC…………….. In fact only 26 more sleeps and I cannot wait. PE it seems will be fine regards any security issues as the MEC for the Eastern Cape is a Muslim and she has already contacted her friends and they wont be sending Achmed or any other of his mates to disrupt the games here. Seems that with the fans will be a number of stunning female fans that will turn heads, here are two photos 1 of a Korean female fan and one of a Pommie female fan

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Well that’s about for this week, have a great 17-23rd May

(But I leave you with these wise words from one of the best bands ever "Dont stop beleiving")

The Village Idiot

Oil be seeing ya

The Oil disaster off the Gulf of Mexico that claimed the lives of at least 11 men is serious, at present the oil slick is bigger than Peru (133million square kms in size) and the problem is only going to get worse as they estimate that they will only be able to cap the well in 90 days time. So a conservative estimate is that its pumping out 1000 barrels a day (220 000 litres) other people are saying its much more than that and remember 1 litre of oil can contaminate up to 1000 000 litres of clean water, this is going to make the Exxon Valdez incident look like a training scenario. The oil is pumping from 1 and a half kms under the ocean, entire fish and marine life species are threatened not to mention what will happen when it hits land in a big way. It’s also affecting the fishing industry with conservative efforts that it is already costing the industry 2 Billion dollars (nearly 15 Billion rand). People now wonder why I am trying to fight for the planet, its because we only have one, we have no where else to go, this is it ladies and gents and when we mess it up totally we will only have ourselves to blame. BP will have to spend some of there Billions of dollar profits to clean up and I think this has the potential to hurt them bad. So if you have shares in BP I would consider selling.

I learnt something new this week and that’s is Afghanistan play cricket…….. And how do I know this? Well they are (sorry were as have been knocked out) in the world T20 championships. They played the Protea’s and restricted them to 139 for 7 and managed to score 80 runs or so against our bowlers. Think goodness it did not rain or we may have seen Afghanistan go thru to the super 8 round. Who would have thought that they had a team, I thought their pastimes where growing poppies for opium, repelling infidel invaders playing hunt Bin Laden and generally coming up with laws to see how much more they can repress women in that society. I mean with that workload where do they get the time to practice? What do they use to practice…………hand grenades and RPGS, I managed to get a photo of some of the team on the way to practice.

I see that Belgium have banned the Burkha, seems that they want to actually be able to see who is blowing them up I that country, I wonder which other countries will follow suite.? Let’s see if the Poms have the Stones (bet you they don’t)

Is Nelson Mandela still alive ??,……………..reason I ask is that I have not heard about him for months. This got me to thinking what would happen if he dies before or during te world cup, would they tell the world or keep him on ice until it had finished. I assume that the powers at be have a recorded copy of an opening address from Madiba just in case he does get very ill or is in fact no longer with us …………..just asking

This week training was stressful but great, I did a trainers course and had to set up a course and present it to the national training director and 14 other students, was a tad nerve wracking but wit support of te family and work colleagues I managed to do a good job, next week I will have to present a course I have attended in the past and then hopefully get signed off on it by a NOSA trainer then I will be able to resent that course myself. (I think Vusi will be my assessor). The next 6 months are going to tax my 2 brain cells and I am sure I will get nervous but I am looking forward to it. the training was at the PE harbour and must say how impressed I was at how clean it was, you can actually see the fish in the harbour, no oil, smells good, they are really trying to look after the environ aspect. 3 car carriers came in during the week and they are HUGE, the one can load 18 000 cars at a time and is more than 9 decks high.

Seems that the advert that Ryan, Keith and I where in shot at the Nelson Mandela Bay stadium a couple of months back is going to be used by FIFA and shown on SABC 1 ,2 and 3 over the next while, so keep an eye out for us.

Ryan’s dog seems to want to become a “trampolines” dog as it seems to be able to use the ground as its springboard, just imagine te height it could get if it catually used the trampoline …………. “Red Bull does give you wings”

The new Pay TV that is in SA opened its line for new subscribers and within 6 hours 50 000 people bought decodes (they sold out) just shows that SABC is Crap and that Mweb is to expensive. I wish them all the luck and I will be applying to become a subscriber

This week they had an election on the island, seems they had problems with the election process, long queues to vote etc etc……….and here I was thinking that one of the reasons so many EX South Africans live there and put up with the crappy weather etc was because unlike SA everything works and there are no such things as train delays, pot holes, violent demonstrations, recessions etc etc. The Poms being indecisive as normal could not decide on what party to vote for so now they have a hung parliament with the Conservatives holding 306 seats but needing 326 for an outright majority. Seems that the Liberal democrats now hold the power as with 59 seats are being wooed by both parties (conservative and labour) to form a coalition government, (perhaps we can send Julius Malema to look after things while they sort the problem out?) once they get that sorted out then real fun starts as apparently the economy in the UK is still in the toilet and harsh measures are going to be needed to get it up an running again, could we see “Sefricans” that cant find jobs scurrying back to SA? Probably not, because England is so cool and lost of things are FREE and if they ever grace South Africa again with their presence it will be to show us all how to do things as working in a foreign country gives one International experience and that look really good on a CV. Parking attendant (Sydney Australia), Shelf packer (Austin Texas) Delivery bicycle rider, (London England), Care giver (Hobart New Zealand), Assistant nursery school teachers aid etc etc.

A couple of jokes for this week (oh my gosh they are not politically correct, so all of u living in countries that u need to be Politically correct, just skip this part )

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake
Both are in intensive care...... One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

Sporting results this weekend

The Protea’s managed to beat Afghanistan (wow) and beat New Zealand thanks to a awesome 40 from 18 (including 5 sixes) from Albie Morkel, but lost to the POMS ( I hate it when South Africa A loses to South Africa B) so now we will have to beat Pakistan

The Bulls/Crusaders game was a classic with Bulls scoring at the death to win. One of the games of the season 40 to 35
Stormers lost to the sharks
Sharks beat the Stormers
Lions made it 12 starts 12 losses a new Super rugby record
Cheetahs won (well done boys)
GP this weekend with Red Bull and Mclaren dominating the qualifying but Hamilton crashed out and Button finished 5th behind Schummi. I don’t want a Pom to win the World title again (please spare us that)
However the biggest news of the weekend has to be the fact that my Niece Michaela won Gold medal for her age group in rhythmic gymnastics (Eastern Cape) beating 100 other competitors….Well done Monkey, we are proud of you.

Sunday was Mothers day, so hope you all called your moms to say you love them. We all had T at Ryan’s place with all the moms and the kids/grandkids together so it was nice.

Well got to go, have a great week ahead

The Village idiot

When records meant something

Wow some great South African performances in the Rugby this weekend, watched the Stormers/Crusaders and the Bulls/Sharks game at the local watering hole, Ryan was in Gauteng doing a course this weekend so did not have his company, but sure next weekend we will be watching a couple of games together. Now I do not profess to be an expert on Rugby, Cricket etc but I do know that when you have played 11 games and have lost all 11 (yes I am talking about the Lions) it is perhaps time to look at another franchise from South Africa. If I had any say (and I don’t) the Lions and the Cheetahs (my home team) should be merged once again (I have still got a cats flag and cap somewhere) and then give a franchise to The Eastern Cape (Southern Spears). Many people are against this, but I think that we need a Premier club in the Eastern Cape (we have a R1.4 billion rand stadium) and after the World Cup no one to play in it. Before anyone says but they wont be any good. My response is “KAK”, how can you say that before you know who will be in the team and surely they could not do worse than lose every game in the Super 14 (the lions will not win a game this season, which I believe in itself will be a new record for super rugby) and end at the bottom of the log. My money is on the Stormers to take the Super 14 title this year, just shows how good a coach Rassie Erasmus is, as he also managed to do good things with the Cheetahs.

I know records set are meant to be broken, but my question is surely a record should not be easy to break, otherwise any Tom Dick and Lithuania could do it . it would seem that the record set by New Zealand of 17 consecutive test wins and matched by South Africa’s has been broken by Lithuania who to date have not been defeated in 18 games . They have played such Rugby powerhouses as Holland, Belarus, Andora and Serbia. Now call me old fashioned but that does not count as having broken the record let them play real rugby teams and then we can discuss the situation

As a matter of interest New Zealand held the record after winning 17 test matches between 1965-1970 and the Boks managed the same to jointly hold the record between 1997 and 1998 (just shows you how much rugby they are playing now compared to when New Zealand held the record)

Protea’s busy playing the Indians in their 20 /20 game at the moment ( 39 for 2 after 7 overs at present) and then they play Afghanistan……………..Afghanistan? I thought the only sport they played there was hide and seek “Bin Laden” and “drive the infidel out of our poppy fields” A game they have been playing from time immemorial. Surely there must be another team that could have put in the tournament? I have never ever heard of Afghanistan and cricket mentioned in the same sentence ….Ever. Is the team made up of British, American, Australian and New Zealand troops who are seeing service there? I am all for smaller countries being encouraged to participate at international level but surely for the World Cup T20 a better team could have been found……………..Just asking.

Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink

Up until, a few months ago I was one of the many people out there that did not really give a second thought about the state of the environment or how I could actually do some good. That was until a couple of months back when my Brother In Law asked me to help him put together and stage a 1 hour presentation for clients of his on the Environment and how we are rapidly messing things up. I was always of the opinion that the people that wanted to save the world where tree hugging, dope smoking, vegetable eating ‘loonies” who tied themselves to trees and refused to wear leather and wore tie dye pants and shirts. This is not the case and many “normal” people are starting to understand the importance of looking after what little we have. This Blog is my way in just assisting in a small way. If we all play a small part I believe that it will add up to a Large whole……..so lets stop being lazy, lets stop pretending that it wont happen in our lifetime and lets stop pretending its other peoples problems.

I have also recently just moved to Port Elizabeth and as some of you may be aware is in the middle of a serious drought (the worst in 50 years) Dam levels are at a combined 35.6% (down 10.9 % since my arrival in December). One dam is down to 10.4% capacity with the fullest being at 44%. The experts predict unless we get good rains in the next few months we will not have water in October a mere 5 months away. Families are now down to 500 litres a day and it will soon be reduced again. People up north have had so much rain that they are sick of it, I cannot remember when I last saw a good rainstorm and I never ever thought that a bath would be a luxury.

So I have decided that after all those years of not doing my bit for the environment and for the sake of my daughter and one day my grandchildren I will write this Blog in the hope that a few people out there will red it and start to do what they can and make a contribution (no matter how small) to the planet we call home. And ladies and gents this is the only home we have, if it was to disappear the universe would not miss us, but we would surely miss all that we have here on Earth.

With the drought in the Eastern Cape I decided that this initial Blog should concentrate on Water and how we can save on this precious resource.
There is no resource more precious than water. There is also no resource that is misused, abused, misallocated, and misunderstood the way water is. Safe drinking water, healthy and intact natural ecosystems, and a stable food supply are a few of the things at stake as our water supply is put under greater and greater stress.
Before I give you a few hints and tips about how you save on water usage (that will also lead to saving of another resource that is dear to my heart …….The R) here are a few facts about water that most people are not aware of.
• Less than 1% of the earth’s water supply can be used for drinking.
• A small drip from a tap can waste as much as four liters of water a day.
• Two thirds of the water used in a home is used in the bathroom. (with the toilet being the biggest culprit as you can flush up to 400 liters of water down the drain every day
• Most of the world’s people must walk at least three hours to fetch water
• In SA it takes 3 liters of water to make one liter of bottled water.
• Leaving the tap running while you clean your teeth can waste nine liters of water.
• Waiting until you have a full load for your washing machine can save up to 70 liters
• Waiting until you have a full load for your dishwasher can save up to 30 liters
• A five minute shower uses about a third of the water of a bath, saving up to 400 liters per week.
Here are a few easy tips on saving water that will not take to much effort or money to implement
• When washing dishes by hand, don't let the water run while rinsing. Fill one sink with wash water and the other with rinse water.
• Run your washing machine and dishwasher only when they are full. You can save up to 3800 liters per month.
• Water your lawn and garden in the morning or evening when temperatures are cooler to minimize evaporation
• If your shower fills a 5 liter bucket in less than 20 seconds, replace the showerhead with a water-efficient model.
• Collect water from your roof to water your garden
• Don't use running water to thaw food. Defrost food in the refrigerator for water efficiency and food safety
• Consult with your local nursery for information on plant selection and placement for optimum outdoor water savings
• Bath together (you can turn it into a romantic occasion)
• Share water conservation tips with friends and neighbours
Well that’s about it for this first Blog for more water saving tips you can log onto www.randwater.co.za and should you have any new tips for me or suggested sites I can send to friends and family then please forward them.
Remember if you don’t want to save the planet for yourself then do it for your children and their children.
Have a great week
The Village Idiot

Sports History 101

I love History and always try to research on the subject o whatever project I am busy with. I have recently just finished a book on Clarens in the Eastern Free State that I hope to publish soon and have spent nearly 7 years researching a political/military history book about Mozambique and South Africa……..However I am going off on a tangent so “without further ado” or “Guilding your Lilly” (I have no idea what it means but sounds good) here is the Info that I came up with.

South Africa’s first motor endurance test was a run from Cape Town to Houw Hoek over the precipitous Sir Lowry’s pass in 1903. The winner being a Mr S Benjamin driving a De Dion. ( as a matter of interest the countries first serious motor accident also took place in Cape Town in 1903 when Charles Garlic and two mates drive their 24 horsepower “hold me back Schummie” Darracq onto the railway line at Maitland and are hit by the Johannesburg express)

In 1906 the national Rugby squad goes overseas for its first ever tour, led by Paul Roos South Africa establishes themselves as a true rugby playing country. They won all but 2 of their 29 games scoring 608 points and only conceding 68. It was on this tour that the Springbok as their national Emblem was adopted

In 1908 South Africa officially takes part in the Olympic games for the first time when a team of 14 athletes travel to London. The 100m sprint is won by South African Reggie Walker (overlooked by selectors and had made his own way to London) in a time of 10.8 seconds. South African Charles Hefferon picks up a Silver medal in the marathon

In July 1912 Potcehstroom Policeman Kenneth McArthur wins Gold in the marathon at the Stockholm Olympics with another South African Christopher Gitsam coming second, what makes Gitshams performance remarkable is that he had never competed in a marathon in his life before.

Talk about keeping it in the family. In 1913 there is rumour’s in the rugby fraternity that a team comprised entirely out of the Morkel family from Somerset West would travel overseas in 1914 to take on one or two of the home unions. 22 Morkels in 1913 played on a first team level with the Western Province team regularly having half of the team or more from the Morkel family. 10 of them earned Bok colours between 1903 and 1928 with Gerald Morkel captaining the Boks on a tour of Britain in 1912-1913. The Morkel family tour never materialised due to the Outbreak of the First World war.

South African Gold medallists in the 1920 Antwerp Olympic games are Bevil Rudd (400 meters), Clarence Walker (Boxing - bantamweight) and Charles Winslow (Men’s singles tennis)

1924 - Olympics South African bantam weight boxer Willie Smith picks up gold (the only medal won that year by South Africans)
1928 - Olympics women allowed to compete on athletics track for the first time ever.
1930 - Donald Bradman scores 334 against England at Leeds
1931 – The Boks win 23 0f their 26 matches while touring the British Isles; they draw twice and only lose once scoring 406 points with 124 against.
1937 – The Boks pile on 855 points against Australian and New Zealand opposition beating Australia 2 - 0 and New Zealand 2-1 in test matches.
1938 - The Boks beat the British Lions
1948 – At the first post war Olympics 2 SA boxers win gold
31st May 1950 Vic Toweel becomes the first South African boxer to win a world title when he beats bantamweight champ Manuel Ortiz in front of 30 000 partisan South African fans.
1955 Roger Bannister becomes the fisrt man to run the mile in under 4 minutes
100 000 fans cram into Ellis park to watch the final test between the Boks and the British Lions (We lost )

Time to make a difference

They say we should not mix politics and sport and generally I would agree however with events that has recently occurred in South Africa and want to be used by certain sections or individuals in the country to stir up trouble I think that it’s perhaps time to mix the two and show that by supporting your National teams you can in fact influence the politics of the country in a positive manner

Those of us that are old enough to have lived through the Rugby World Cup of 1995 will probably agree that at no other time in South Africa’s history have all population groups been that close together if only we could have harnessed that energy, enthusiasm, optimism and Ubuntu perhaps people like ET, and Julius Malema would not have be given the recognition (that they do not deserve). I guess what I am trying to say is that 15 years later we can use the Soccer World Cup to try and rejuvenate the feeling that we had in 1995. There are many similarities between the Boks of 15 years ago and the Bafana Bafana team of 2010

1. Both teams where playing crap
2. No one gave them a chance
3. They both had coach problems
4. Preparation before the event was not ideal
5. There was political uneasiness and turmoil in the country, having only a year before had the first democratic elections in the country. The Country was on a knife edge.

Unfortunately if you read comments left by readers on the Sports 24 Blogs, newspapers and in general conversation then there are to many South African (mostly white) that have decided due to the fact that they feel Bafana Bafana have no chance of winning or the screw ups of FIFA to purchase SWC tickets they are not going to support the team or the event, In fact I am sure there are numerous whites (many ex-pats living overseas) that are really unhappy we have managed to pull the whole thing together as they wanted to be able to turn round and say “see we told you so” What a Shitty attitude to have, we almost expected the black population to support the Boks and Rugby in 1995 but we are not prepared to do the same for football in 2010.

I may not be attending Freedom day celebrations today (its just not my thing) but I am encouraging all South Africans who do not consider Soccer to be a sport they would normally watch or support to show Bafana Bafana that we are behind them, that they do have the majority of South African supporting them. I for one cannot wait for the start of the World Cup I have tickets to games and what I cannot see live I want to go and watch at the fan park at St Georges park, especially Bafana Bafana games where I will be wearing my football shirt with pride, blowing my newly purchased Vuvuzela with gusto and waving my national flag with absolute delight

Bafana Bafana I know that you will surprise many of us this SWC but even if you lose every game I am proud to be watching you in my country in one of the most spectacular sports events that this country will ever host, the only event I think is bigger is the Olympic games. So from this Mulungu and his family good luck Bafana we are behind you every step of the way.

So this week was my first full week at work… feels weird that for the first time in 30 years I have a job that I don’t have to work weekends and get Public holidays off…….AWESOME. Doing plenty of studying as well to try and get myself up to speed as fast as I can. Must say it feel good to go to work though.. Again this week had a number of friends call or e-mail to say congrats (thanks guys, much appreciated) all of the immediate family “except those that seem to have lost my e-mail address” are ecstatic and really happy for me, with all supporting me 100%. Its awesome to know you have such great family…….Thanks guys “Love YA”

This was in the news a couple of days back “Cape Town - About 3 000 known British soccer hooligans will be barred entry to South Africa for the FIFA World Cup, national police commissioner, General Bheki Cele said on Thursday. (And I thought that there was no anti social behaviour in Shangri la?)
We had some good rain on Wednesday night (about 60mm) and the one road that I take for work (sounds good “for work”) goes over a low level bridge and she was flooded so got caught in a traffic jam (First in PE) luckily “wif a Skooter” its easy to extricate oneself and find another route, even with the hold up took me 15 minutes to get to work, Yes I know in Clarens 15 minutes in a vehicle and you are In Bethlehem, but compared to Gauteng and Slaapstad its not bad.

Attended a workshop at Gabby’s school given by the Headmaster Mr Vermaak about living with a teenager and how you can avoid killing them and ending up I jail. Was very informative and nice to see that as the parents of a teenager “YOU ARE NOT ALONE”, next months topic will be how to beat your teenager and not leave marks. So parents its not just the Terrible Twos that you have to navigate through it’s the Terrible Teens as well, only with a teenager its more difficult in making them do what you want. All good though as that’s what parenting’s about “Love you Gabby”

Job going well so far, next week spend 5 days doing a Trainers course, so looking forward to that, must say I am nervous but hopefully I will pass the course. The week after that I have to be signed off on a course that I have already attended (I think Ryan will be the facilitator) and if you think that it will be easy because Ryan is my Brother in law “I have news for you” It will not be, but what’s great is that Ryan is so good at what he does I can only learn from him and benefit from points that he picks up on that I will need to improve. This is a huge learning curve for me and I never thought that at the age of 47 I would be changing career paths in such a drastic way. As I said its nerve wracking but at the same time I am enjoying the new challenge.

Signed all the paper for house in PE so holding thumbs that the house in Clarens also goes through otherwise we is a bit in the proverbial crap, it would seem though that the pieces of the jigsaw are starting to fit together.

Sports news for the week is hat SA will be hosting the Championship 20/20 league in September ……..Thats great as they will be playing games in PE. So Inter Malan will be playing Bayern Munich in the final on 22 May. Think there is now 39 days left to start of the World Cup ………….I cannot wait.

Stormers beat (no sorry bliksem’d the Blues 42 to 14)
Bulls beat the sharks
Sharks lost (put on a good display though)
Cheetahs won again against the Blues
Lions lost (now 11 played , 11 lost)
Proteas busy playing India in World 20 20 cricket championship, lets hope they win.

Well that’s it for this week. Have a great week ahead and Be good

Village Idiot